Dream Home (Patreon)

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine recently, and they asked me to take a look at their layout for their dream home.

Isn’t that cool? I think that’s a nice way to focus your attention during times like these. Something aspirational.

I do a lot of writing for real estate. I can take a look at some pictures of a house and the floor plan, and I can write 1,000 words that strike to the core of somebody’s emotions and aspirations. It’s an odd thing to be “good at,” but like they say, practice makes perfect.

So, I realize that, from time to time, my mind has drifted in a similar direction. If I was building a house from the ground up, and I could have control over every detail of its design, what would it look like? A rough idea has been floating around in my head for a while, but I’ve never actually laid pen to paper to try and sketch mine out. (In case you couldn’t tell by now, it’s a good thing I’m not an architect. With sketches like mine, I’m sure buildings would just fall down!)

The above picture is a rough idea. The overall structure is one story, and is oriented in a sort of “V” shape. If you were to draw a line right down the center, each half would be a mirror image of the other. I like symmetry. (My boobs do not. Eh.)

When you walk in, there’s a circular dining table. I don’t like rectangular tables. I don’t like the idea of somebody sitting at the head, and somebody sitting at the foot. A round table is more egalitarian. Everybody’s on the same page, and their conversation is equally valid.

The kitchen is minimalistic. The refrigerator would be located underneath the counter. Sink, dishwasher, lots of counterspace. An island houses the stove and the oven, and a couple of little sitting spots. I like the idea of cooking and looking out onto the rest of the home, instead of just facing a wall.

The living room area is sunken by a couple of steps. I’ve always thought that was a cool mid-century aesthetic, and I wonder why we got rid of it. In front of the living room, a giant bank of windows that overlooks the central courtyard. I love sunsets, so it would be ideal if this room had a western exposure.

From the core area, there are two hallways, each floor to ceiling with windows, and some sliding doors so you can get outside. Identical bedrooms at the end of each hallway, each with a small closet. Big windows there too. Adjacent, two identical baths. In what would I suppose would be the south wing, I media room to feed my love of movies and to have a dedicated place for screen-based distractions. Opposite, an office, with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on both sides. Also, a little sitting nook. Those right triangles next to the core serve as storage space, and also, as a half bath for guests.

I think it would be fun to live in a part of the world that’s generally cooler. Someplace with a lot of green. Temperate rainforest. Good beer. I’ve been to Washington state once, and I really fell in love with the vibe there. Something like that. Bonus points if I get to overlook a body of water.

So, that’s it in a nutshell! I feel like I’m missing something… Part of the fun that I had with my friend was geeking out over their design and throwing some spaghetti noodles at the wall.

I think you can tell a lot about a person by the type of dream home that they would create for themselves. What are their plans, what are their dreams, what are their passions... You can figure out a person’s personality with a fun little test like this. It’s almost like looking into their soul.

I’m totally curious… What do you guys think this says about me? Also, I feel like I’m missing something… If it pops out at you, let me know.

And, I’d love to hear what you guys have in mind about your own dream homes. If you’ve never really considered it before, it is a fun little exercise. For me, it was a way to unstick my head from the present for a moment, and focus on something idealistic, somewhere off in the future, when I’m some ridiculous old post-apocalyptic lady with six dogs and tits that hang down to her knees.