Set it and forget it. (Patreon)

I've discovered, fairly recently, that there was a time in my recent life when I was being spied on. I'll spare you the grizzly details, but it involved the boyfriend of a friend, a breaking-and-entering, the violation of some privacy rights that I'm pretty sure are protected by the law, and a small camera planted in my old apartment. Some creepy shit, in short, that made me wonder if there was someone in a florist van parked down the street.

Through a little detective work, I discovered who the culprit is. It was the boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) of a friend of mine. Yes, they broke up (partially) because she and I both discovered that he had been harboring a peculiar interest in seeing me go about my daily life. 

What kind of footage does he have? I don't know the extent of everything he saw or recorded, except to say that I routinely walk around in the privacy of my own home in a variety of states of dress and undress. In other words, I'm sure there are some nipples, and probably some self gratification thrown in for good measure, because ladies masturbate, too. I think the camera was streaming to his computer constantly, but I think he only recorded a few things as he saw them, like his own personal cam site.

Ew. 

Was any of it ever leaked online? I don't know, but I don't think so. If it is, then I suppose it's out there forever. If any of you happened to have stumbled across it, I do hope you'll let me know. I don't kill messengers. But it WOULD up the ante on revenge (read on).

Is this an ongoing problem? Not anymore, because I moved out of my place about a month or so after this camera was installed (from what I can tell, it was perched on top of my kitchen cabinet, granting it an unfettered glimpse into my living room). 

Were there more cameras? Not that I know. My friend stole her (now ex) boyfriend's laptop and said she looked through the files he had on there, and that camera seemed to be the only one. She's keeping the laptop, because she needed a laptop, and she said she would call the police on him if he contested. Does he have any other videos on external hard drives, or on the cloud? Dunno. 

To her credit, she is a classy person, and it just so happens that she grew up in the country with three older brothers. Shortly before she clued him in that she had any idea of the lascivious shit he was up to, she went over to his place per normal. After he went to sleep, she took a few cigar minnows that she had gotten at a bait shop and slid them into his shower curtain rod. 

Have you ever smelled rotting fish? It's hideous. Especially in your bathroom, where the source of the smell could be coming from anywhere. Most folks will disconnect their plumbing, knock out the walls, and tear the damn bathtub out before they ever think of removing their shower curtain rod. While neither of us is sure how this sunnuvabitch handled this situation, I can only imagine that it caused him some level of torment. He owns his home, so the issue didn't land in the lap of an innocent landlord. 

Anyway, if any of you ever needs a way to get revenge that doesn't involve bodily injury or the commission of another crime, this is a cool way to go about it. A freebie from aunt Heather. I'm still pretty pissed off and still feel personally violated (How would you feel if some asshat planted a camera in your place?), and I'm not sure the punishment fits the crime just yet. But I'm across the ocean, don't have the money for a hitman, and have always thought that keying a car is low-class. If any of you has a surefire way of vengeance that can be committed remotely (bonus points for wit), I'd love to hear it. I have no qualms about biding my time until I strike next. 

Anyway, in the meantime, I can mope. Or, I can use it and cope (the old mope-or-cope). So I've decided to take a few spy-ey videos of my own. I'm reclaiming, goddammit. From the few videos I saw that Assey McHat recorded, I can see the artistic value, at least through an erotic lens. I don't like that it happened to me (and in this modern age of tiny cameras and advanced technology, this probably happens to shitloads of people), but again, I'm reclaiming and making it mine. 

And, I added some Chopin, because that gives the sheer voyeurism some taste.