Adonis Sequence, Chapter 1, #5 (Patreon)

So, we gathered up our stuff and made our way across the quad to the canteen. We got seated right away, but it took the server 20 full minutes before she came by to take our order. I swear my digestive acids were about to start dissolving my stomach. I was so hungry it actually hurt.

“What is it with you?” asked Coley. “I’ve never seen you so food obsessed. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat before. You have eaten before, right?” He cracked a grin. “Because if you haven’t, that would explain it.”

“Of course, I’ve eaten before,” I said. “What kind of question is that?”

“Just testing your famous sense of humor,” he said. “Yup, still dead.”

It was another 30 minutes before she showed up with my hamburger. I couldn’t imagine what took them so long. Seriously, ground beef grilled? How complicated could that be? The place was practically empty, so it wasn’t the crowds. It was only seconds after she left that I realized one hamburger wasn’t going to be enough. I tried to flag her down but she just walked straight past. She had to have seen me. She had to.

“Coley, she’s ignoring me,” I said.

“She’s probably busy,” he said.

“With what?” I said “There are probably three other people in here.”

“Maybe she’s hitting on the cook? I don’t know,” he said. “Why? What’s the big deal? You got your hamburger.”

“It’s not going to be enough,” I said.

“Are you kidding?” he said. “That thing is huge!”

“Not huge enough,” I said.

“David, buddy, you’re starting to worry me.”

I just shook my head and practically inhaled the hamburger. The fries followed quickly after. It was then another 10 minutes before I got the server’s attention. I swear I was practically doing cartwheels in the aisle. 

She walked over, slapped the check down on the table and started to walk away again.

“No!” I yelled, louder and more forcefully than I really meant to.

She turned around and gave me a look that said she was contemplating calling security. “Is there a problem?” she said.

“No,” I said, really struggling to keep my cool. “I just wanted to order another 2 hamburgers, that’s all.”

“Oh,” she said. “Sure.” Then she picked the check up from the table. 

“And can you rush them?” I said.

“Of course,” she said.

It was 25 minutes before they arrived, a rush any tortoise would be proud of.

I ate them quickly, but it still wasn’t enough. However, I just couldn’t deal with the stress of trying to order anything else. So, we finished our study session packed up and left.

The program was covering my food, so all I had to do with give them the expense code. I still left a small tip. Didn’t want her spitting in my food next time I stopped by, did I?