A Hundred Girlfriends Who Really Love You... In Another World! 43 (Patreon)

"Well, Megumin I believe I made things pretty clear." Yuiyui slowly gets up, freeing my body. "I made Komekko go out so she could avoid this, but you're old enough to understand what a divorce is." Oi, aren't you too in control of your emotions!?

A second ago you were bawling in my chest about loving me, but now you're calmly drying your tears while casually explaining the situation to your daughter... You should be explaining it to me instead! I'm super lost!

Megumin's lips are trembling. "B-b-but...!" She starts looking around, it's like she's begging for help, however Darkness, Wolbach and I are equally shocked, so it's not like we can do much. That said, there is one man who is surprisingly calm...

His name is Hyoizaburoo, and he calmly glares at his daughter... What!? "Megumin there is no but's, understand?" He nods to himself. "A person should always have the option to pursue their heart, it doesn't matter if they want a young adult who has too much money or a evil silver haired elf who ate half of the world." Yes, but this person is your wife, also the last one is definitely way too much.

While his daughter is too stunned to respond, Mamagumin smiles. "I just knew you would understand Hyoizaburoo! This is why I married you after all! You're such an amazing man!" Don't say that to the guy you just talked about divorce with. Actually it wasn't even talking, you were crying all over the place!

My eye twitches, and for a second I break the silence that surrounds me. "Hey, if he is this amazing, then why don't you stay with him?" Ah, I probably shouldn't have spoken up, at least not now, but it couldn't be helped.

I just don't get why this is happening, at least I can't think of any soulmate event going down like this... Even Eris, who I spent more time with, had some hesitation when breaking up Rudeus... Then again did she? I guess she did try for the harem first, but then she started talking about wanting to vomit...

To my surprise Yuiyui pats my head. "Are you jealous Subaru?" How did you get that idea!? Also please stop patting me, even if it feels really nice to receive affection from a Gumin.... "If that's the case you don't need to worry, because..." Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?

She takes her eyes of me, focusing on Hyoizaburoo. "This man's face makes me want to vomit! It's a new discovery to be sure... Seriously, I had two children with him." Exactly, so be more suspicious of these circumstances!

Maybe... maybe I should tell her about the soulmate thing? Like... genuinely explain what's happening. It's been a while since I tried that route, and while it didn't work back then, maybe it will work now... Yeah, who am I kidding? These are Gumins, that will probably only make her like me more.

Yuiyui suddenly gets closer to me and... lick my neck. "If we rush maybe we can have three children together though... I'm not a hag." I see. Actually I have entered in complete and utter shock, it wouldn't be completely inaccurate to say all my five senses have stopped working.

No, it would be. That's because I definitely still feel touch, and that one sense is focusing completely on the fact that a mother of a friend who I had... have? Feelings for, has just licked my neck and talked about having children.

Megumin screams, and rushes to her mother's side, she starts trying to pull the struggling milf out of me. "Leave Purge King alone! Don't leave dad alone!" This must be such a traumatizing sight... I bet she has never even seen her mother doing something like this to her father, much less some stranger.

By the way, milf stands for Gumin I like to fuck. It applies to all Gumins except for the male ones of course... And I imagine that if I was born as Natsumi the situation would reverse. Truly a wondrous species.

I take a step back and clear myself from such lustful thoughts. "S-sorry about this!" As my friend tries to save me from a loving relationship with three future children, I can only beg for forgiveness.

Yuiyui giggles while being pulled back by her own daughter. "There's nothing to apologize for Subaru. If anyone needs to kowtow here, it's Hyoizaburoo..." Why!? Well, I do know why, he does have massive amounts of debt after all...

Megumin screeches. "No, you definitely need to apologize mom! Apologize for having a midlife crisis! Apologize for sexually harassing my friend! Apologize for putting some disgusting images into my head." O-oyakodon...!

Hyoizaburoo suddenly raises his voice. "There is indeed something you must apologize for Yuiyui...!" Oh!? Is he about to defend his marriage...!? Truly Gumins are amazing...! "Apologize for doing perverted stuff in front of Megumin. I mean, c'mon, she is not even an adult yet." I repeat, truly Gumins are amazing.

His wife... ex-wife... soon to be ex-wife waves him off. "Ah, it's fine Hyoizaburoo. Kids aren't like back in our day where all we dreamt of was being a pure maiden who is rescued by a hero. I bet Megumin has a body count in the dozens!" Well, she could probably get that pretty easily... She is MMT after all.

Megumin starts stuttering. "I d-don't! I definitely don't!" And then her eyes widen, suddenly realizing something. "I mean, you're totally right! Actually you're wrong, because my body count is in the hundreds!" Maybe if we talked about killing monsters...

Lalatina snorts. "What a virgin..." Seriously? This is your first contribution to this conversation!?

Hyoizaburoo laughs. "Hah, I see you're were correct as you always are Yuiyui." He then looks at Megumin. "Though I'll have to hunt down every man who has slept with my angel. I can tolerate my wife being stolen by a younger man, but my daughter having sex is where I draw the line." You know the drill, Gumins are amazing.

Yuiyui laughs back. "Of course I'm right Hyoizaburoo, that's usually my thing...!" She then chuckles. "Your business was already a sinking ship, but without me, it will definitely be eaten by a sea monster! And her name is probably Anastasia Hoshin!" Oi.

Hyoizaburoo continues laughing. "You're totally correct! Ah, you're totally correct." I think his words make it fairly obvious, but just to clarify... He wasn't laughing at the end. Work hard Dadgumin.

Yuiyui then takes a deep breath. "However, we must discuss something even more important now Hyoizaburoo... I'm taking the children." Taking them where!? I don't even have a damn house yet...!

Hyoizaburoo falls to his knees, his face suddenly pale. "That's...! That's far too much!" Oh, so now you care? Maybe you should have protested more when she was talking about divorce... Actually you should have probably just controlled your finances better.

Yuiyui pouts, and crosses her arms. "Sorry, but I can't trust you to take care of them while you're in such a sorry state... Well, maybe we can send Komekko and Megumin here in the weekends." How!? I live in another continent! Are you gonna abuse the Wolbach Taxi Company that much!?

Suddenly Megumin gets in between her mother and her father. "There's no need for any of that, since you two are staying together!" She basically growls at Yuiyui. "Seriously, what are you even thinking!?" I think she's not thinking at all.

Hyoizaburoo interjects. "Megumin, as I said before, don't take this from your mother." He gets up, seemingly overpowering his previous weakness. "There is nothing sadder than a woman who is forced to stay in a loveless marriage." Yeah, but that marriage is with you!

Megumin's eye twitches. "Yeah, but that marriage is with you!" Oh, we are in the same wavelength! "You two never had problems before! So where is this even coming from!?" They definitely had problems, tons of them even!

Hyoizaburoo sighs. "Megumin... I know a divorce hurts, this will probably hurt Komekko a lot too... But you're a mature girl, almost an adult. Please make an effort to understand your mother's point of view." That might break her mind.

He continues. "While I pursued the path of useless, albeit cool cursed objects, and your pursue the path of useless, albeit cool magic..." He ignores her obvious protests at that last part. "Your mother pursues true love." With a guy she just met!?

A look of fondness appears on his face. "Ah... I remember when we were young and your mother was practicing Sleep Magic with the objective of putting herself into a eternal coma, one that she could only wake up with a true love's kiss." She made herself into a Disney princess!?

Yuiyui nods with a smile. "Yes, I remember how no one could do it except for you!" He gave you a true love's kiss and you are still gonna dump him!? "It's just a shame that you had to use one of your cursed items to accomplish such a feat, therefore ruining the whole thing!" Please don't sound so mad about it.

He awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. "Yeah, sorry. In fact the whole village felt pretty sorry about taking you out of the coma." Why though!? "Anyways, I'm glad you have found someone at least." She's your wife.

Yuiyui claps her hands together. "Ah, it was so magical Hyoizaburoo! Anyways..." She looks at me. "Let's get married, and as a bonus you can tie up Megumin sometimes." What kind of bonus is that!? A tempting one...

I take another step back. "Okay then." Actually I took a step forward, and as soon as that realization hits my mind... "W-wait, we can't! For obvious reasons!" One of them being that MMT is now looking at me as if I was trash.

Megumin quickly nods her head. "Yeah! I can't believe this is even..." She then looks down. "Wait... is this some weird prank or something?" Oh boy, I have a feeling she's about to go down a strange path.

She laughs a little, clearly despairing. "Y-yeah, this is all a prank. My parents aren't about to divorce over my friend, and my mom definitely isn't a pervert, and my dad definitely isn't weirdly okay with it...!" MMT...

Her crimson eyes are shining. "And he didn't get engaged to Yunyun either. Huh, strange, where did that thought even come from? Of course he isn't engaged to Yunyun, and of course this is just a prank." I wish that was case...

Yuiyui tilts her head. "Well, I don't know anything about Yunyun, but this isn't a prank, sweetie. I mean, I wouldn't prank someone by licking their neck, and... I plan to lick other inappropriate places too, so..." Thank you for the mental image.

Megumin gasps. "I... I'm gonna go look for my staff." She leaves the room without any hesitation, without a doubt she wishes to doom us all. I won't stop her though, because to be honest, I deserve doom at this point.

Yuiyui sighs. "Ah, that girl... Why do I have a feeling explaining this to Komekko will be easier...?" She then shakes her head. "But enough about divorce, let's talk about our marriage instead." Ah, this is the part I feared the most.

There's a shy smile on her face. "First of all, I know we have met each other recently Subaru, but let me assure you, my love is very much real, and only partially related to your money." A gold digger Crimson Demon!? "Anyways, I have been a wife for a long while you know? There's plenty I can bring to the table..." Why does these talks always end up as job interviews?

Hyoizaburoo sends me a thumbs up. "I can vouch for her! Yuiyui is a great mage, a great businesswoman and a great wife!" She was your wife just a second ago so please have some shame and shut up.

Yuiyui nods. "Indeed! And I can also be quite accommodating to your other wives! I mean, I invited Miss Darkness and Miss Wolbach to our discussion did I not?" Yeah, but they haven't had the opportunity to say anything so far.

Mamagumin is like an tsunami who is consuming us all, since she is so crazy, our only option is to be dragged along... Though that might apply to all Crimson Demons really, since they're such motivated chuunis.

What even is her chuuni attitude however? Being a Disney princess...? She sure is way too active for one. Maybe because of her age? Hyoizaburoo did say she tried to pull a sleeping beauty when they were younger, and it didn't work, so she probably learned her lesson.

Honestly I don't even know how to respond to her. "Miss Yuiyui... I..." In such a situation, there is only one thing I can do. "Wolbach, please help me." I must beg for salvation. The Dark Goddess is one of the most reliable people I know, so she's my best shot.

This is way too much for me, I don't even know how to handle the Yunyun situation yet, and there already more things being thrown at me. Sometimes I wish I could escape to the moon and become an idol using my make-up skills or something... Where did that thought even come from!?

Wolbach smiles awkwardly. "O-of course Darling..." I'll have to apologize to her later, this is definitely super awkward to her as well. "Um... Miss Yuiyui this is coming... a bit too suddenly, I must say." Even if it wasn't, it's still weird.

She clears her throat. "And right now my Darling is a bit... busy. Recently he was offered the hand of one girl named Yunyun, and he is opening a business and... Miss Eris, his first lover, isn't even here." Thanks for saying what was on my mind!

The Dark Goddess bows. "And that's why it's simply impossible to extend this relationship even further currently... My apologies, nyah." Ah, my fiancee is apologizing for me while rejecting a woman for me. I'm the most scummy man alive huh?

Hyoizaburoo looks mad, in fact he punches the wall. "This can't be...! To think my wife... ex-wife would lose to the best friend of our daughter!" Why are you mad about this!? Honestly, how do Gumins even exist!?

Yuiyui looks down, a sad expression on her face. "But... I felt it..." She gives me a pleading expression. "Didn't you feel it as well Subaru? A shock as soon as our eyes met? That was definitely love at first sight..." She sighs. "It reminds me of when I first met Heinkel, though I had to actually electrocute him and myself for that effect." Tone down your Gumin levels, please.

Now it's my turn to sigh. "Miss Yuiyui, I'm sorry, but..." But you're the mother of my goddamn best friend! Have some fucking common sense you adorable Gumin...! Is what I want to say, but I won't for obvious reasons.

Suddenly Wolbach cuts me off. "Okay Miss Yuiyui! You can enter our little happy family!" Hah!? When did you decide to stop reading my mind so you can torment me instead!? Did my Wolbach get replaced by an Aqua or something!?

Yuiyui smiles ear to ear. "Great! Let's live a long and happy life Miss Wolbach!" No! Not great! "Oh, I have some pretty good tricks I can show you too..." Yes! That's great! This is bad, I won't be able to resist Mamagumin...!

Hyoizaburoo laughs. "Strange! From what I have seen you're the most boring woman in bed imaginable!" And for that comment he gets a weak lightning shock thrown at him... Isn't that too much punishment!?

Darkness' sighs, and comes to my rescue like the hero she is. "Um... Not to offend anyone, but isn't Miss Yuiyui a bit too old? She's a mother..." She then starts muttering. "And besides, Subaru looks uncomfortable..." You're a knight through and through.

Yuiyui's eye twitches. "Old...? Subaru called me a beautiful flower who looks even younger than my own daughter." I definitely didn't! All I did was say you still looked pretty young!

Wolbach nods. "Indeed, you look very beautiful Miss Yuiyui." She then glares at Darkness, she looks surprisingly angry. "And age is simply not an issue. Understood?" Ah, my knight pissed off my old hag wife.

Darkness hesitantly nods. "S-sure, age is not an issue. However, nothing about that changed the fact that Subaru has been uncomfortable throughout this entire conversation, and has barely spoken a word." You really are a hero, right now you could even pull a legendary sword from a piece of rock.

Wolbach pouts. "I... I suppose that's true, but if Miss Yuiyui truly felt a shock, then..." She looks at me. "Subaru, I know you don't want to be put in the spot right now, but how do you feel about this." I feel horny. Awful, I feel awful.

I take a deep breath. "I... I am against this. Like you said before, Eris isn't even here, and I just met Miss Yuiyui. Everyone here is acting way too...." I was gonna say quickly, but I can't, because I accepted Wolbach as soon as I met her. "Way too crazily." But Wolbach was not the mother of my angel.

Yuiyui tries to protest. "B-but...! Subaru I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable, but trust me! This can and will work! Soon enough you will be screaming Yuiyui over and over again!" Ah! She's using lewd powers to defeat me!

Darkness crosses her arms. "If Subaru said no, it means no. It is as simple as that." I wonder if I can upgrade this knight from bodyguard to super bodyguard or something, because she deserves it at this point.

Wolbach clears her throat. "Yes, normally I would agree with you, but..." She looks at me. "Subaru, give this woman a chance, I swear she can become just as important as Miss Eris if given the chance..." And now MMMT looks hopeful. MMMT standing for Mamagumin Maji Tenshi of course.

Ah, this is bad. Since Wolbach knows about soulmates she will definitely take Yuiyui's side... Actually maybe this isn't too bad. Wolbach is okay with it, Darkness will probably be okay with it if I am too, and Eris... Eris is a wildcard, I guess.

So, isn't this okay...? "I..." Hell no! Of course it isn't! In the end this isn't just your average Gumin, this is a super Gumin who also happens to be the mother of my best friend! This is wrong in every possible way!

Which is why I don't know what to do...! "Ah...! Enough Purge King bullying!" That scream doesn't come from me of course, instead it comes from MMT, the girl has returned... without her staff. She was probably just recomposing herself.

Like the angel she is, she dashes towards me and holds my hand. "We need some time alone!" And like that, she drags me into running outside of her, ignoring the protests coming from everyone, even her own mother.

We run past Komekko, we run past people I don't know, we run past places I don't know. Eventually we reach a hill, and while I'm mostly fine, Megumin is completely sweaty, which is why we stop running.

We just sit down instead, staring at the sunset. "Thanks Megumin-Tan." That's the first thing I say, though maybe I should be apologizing as well. I doubt she thought this would happen when she took me to meet her family.

She responds while panting. "No worries... I don't know why everyone is acting like nutjobs." It's because of me! Ah, I'm the worst. "First there's Yunyun... The marriage is one thing, that's just her dad being his usual self, but..." Oh? You left your denial stage?

She closes her eyes, seemingly lost in thought. "She normally wouldn't act like that. Blushing and stuttering? Making lies to make herself sound cooler? That's what I would expect from her, but she hasn't even challenged me yet. Instead all of her attention is on you, and you two have barely even talked... Seriously, she's passing out with how embarrassed she is." Yeah, it's adorable.

Slowly Megumin opens her eyes, it seems like she's reaching some sort of realization. "And then there's dad, he likes you a lot for some reason. I was chalking up to him having low expectations because of Kazuma, but maybe that isn't it..." Well, I can confirm he's not my soulmate...

Her eyes are beginning to shine. "Actually can we go back to Yunyun's dad? Isn't it strange that he gave you his daughter's hand so easily? It is, isn't it?" Yes, but that's because of Eris, not because of me.

Megumin gasps. "And Komekko offered you food...! Even though she's Komekko!" Eh? Is that really such a big deal. "It goes without saying that I don't even want to think about mom... I might throw up." People tend to say that a lot around me.

MMT starts playing with her hair, continuing with her detective work. "Chomusuke... Wolbach also likes you, she fell pretty quickly too... She definitely counts as a honorary Crimson Demon by the way...!" I don't think that's true, but okay...

Suddenly she blushes, this time not because she's tired. "And then there's..." She shakes her head. "That one idiotic girl that still can't take her eyes off you." Is there another Gumin who's interested in me? What bliss...

But before I think about that... "So Megumin-Tan, have you reached any important conclusion over all of this?" Who knows, maybe she figured out how soulmates work all by herself?

Megumin slowly nods. "Maybe... I think you might be..." She puts a hand to her chin. "You know, when male orcs were still around, they used to say any elf could easily steal their hearts." N-no way! They have those tropes over here!?

Ah, this is bad...! "We should never let Frieren and Sylphie get close to them then..." That would lead to a horrible bad end. To be honest now I kind of want to go to a mission in the name of driving orcs to extinction.

The Arch Mage snorts. "True, orcs have suffered enough." Eh? "Though the male ones are extinct nowadays anyways, and female orcs don't care that much, so it should be fine..." Please elaborate!

She doesn't, instead returning to her original thought process. "So assuming you are Crimson Demonnip... We need to test this theory, if proven right you need to leave before our village collapses under war." Is that what happened to the orcs!?

I lay down, it's getting kind of cold, maybe because it's night, so I wish I was clothed more. "So what do you propose? A warning though, your theory is definitely wrong." It's just soulmate stuff after all.

And I'm not even scared of that anymore. At this point I have met so many new Gumin soulmates that the chance of me finding another is incredibly low, so I think I should be safe. Probably.

Megumin lays down too, and hums. "I guess we should get you close to a loser who would embarrass herself in front of a guy she likes, a certain brocon comes to mind." It's good that you have a plan, I guess.

I'm actually sort of shivering at this point, I guess the Dragon Continent is much colder than the Central Continent. "I don't know who that is, but sure..." Actually... Shouldn't this place be hotter? I was in a pretty cold city back home.

I can see Megumin's breaths. "Good. Also, we need to keep you away from predators like Arue. If Purge Kings are a dangerous species to us like I think... It would lead to a bad end, let's just keep it at that." There is no such a thing as a species of me!

Still, this little talk is calming me down. "Your voice is really soothing, you know that Megumin-Tan?" It's a comfortable warmth amidst this cold. It almost makes me forget her mother licked me.

She blushes bright red. "Geez, don't say stuff like that... But thanks." Her blushing face, combined with those eyes and her new hair color really is perfect.

I close my eyes, I feel at peace. "Is the dark pillar blinking in and out of reality?" Sadly MMT's comment brings me straight out of that peace, strange seeing as she is usually my angel.

I look over to the horizon, it is as she says. "We should definitely, definitely run..." Panic hasn't even entered my voice, mostly because I was so relaxed before that my body is struggling with the sudden change.

Megumin gets with a hop. "Yeah! Towards it! I wanna see how the Witch of Envy rejects someone...!" There are stars in her eyes. "Besides, if I beat her, won't I become the number one in the entire world!? I will become Megumin, Crimson Demon God!" Ah, your Gumin is showing!

Please just let those flickers be Frieren turning that pillar off or something!