A Hundred Girlfriends Who Really Love You... In Another World! 09 (Patreon)

"We should probably talk..." I send Eris a serious look. Now that the road is clear, I won't hesitate. "First of all, I love you." I'm a man who says that without hesitation! Ah, my dad would probably laugh at me for falling so easily for a woman.

She blushes and looks down. "I love you too...!" Ah, my heart just exploded. Her words certainly do a nice job at killing the guilt I feel towards Rudeus... Sorry, but I'll be a selfish man and take Eris.

Besides, the girl doesn't even like him anymore, like at all. And while that is definitely because of the soulmate thing... It's not something I can control, and I also did try telling everyone the truth, is just that they kind of ignored it.

There's definitely a big smile on my face, even though I also feel incredibly anxious... "Hey Eris do you want to be... my girlfriend?" This is the first time that I'm asking a woman out. I wonder if my father would be proud... Considering the circumstances he definitely wouldn't!

She nods. "Yeah, I want to be together with you forever...!" She hugs me, feeling her warmth is incredible as always. "I promise I won't leave you! I know you're the one!" Normally words like that would be a red flag, considering she just dumped her boyfriend, but I know she's not lying. We are literally soulmates after all.

I hug her back. "O-okay! Great!" I don't know what else to say, I mean, I already dropped the love bomb... "By the way... I'm sorry with how things went with Rudeus." Immediately after I says that the hug gets tighter.

She sighs. "It's... It's fine." And we stay silent for a while, but she speaks up again. "No, no it isn't, he's important to me, so I wanna be his friend at least..." I understand that completely... Which is why maybe you should have held back a little.

I nod. "Got it... maybe we can go talk with him another day." Probably once he's calmer, once Nina isn't around. Which she currently isn't, considering she's downstairs with Lancel... Man, I really need to thank him.

We obviously couldn't get a room with Rudeus, and so we had to come back here to beg for a room. Thankfully Eris is the messiah, so he let us stay here for a while... Though maybe we should return to the Holy Land of Swords.

Eris ends the hug and sends me a fond smile. "Yeah..." She looks as beautiful as ever. "Now let's fuck, I'm going to ride you until you melt." Yep, as beautiful as ever... Ah! What's with this sudden comment!?

I obviously stammer out a response. "H-hey wait a second! D-don't we have other stuff to talk about first!? Like the l-langua thing, or what we are gonna do tomorrow...!" My dick has reached the state of diamonds.

I'm embarrassed, because I'm a virgin of course, but there's no doubt that Subaru Natsuki will never forget this moment for as long as he lives. That said there are other problems at hand, so I continue. "And... and...! What if you get pregnant!? Or what if someone down below hears us!?" I don't want Nina and Lancel to hear my moans!

Also, the pregnancy thing is serious business. Not only are Eris and I dumbass young adults, but we are also as broke as they come. It would be the height of irresponsibility to fuck her, considering all that. And no, the pull out is not a safe tactic.

Eris waves me off. "Eh, don't worry about it... I already know what we are gonna do tomorrow. Nina and I will go do some quests while you stay here." She nods to herself. "We need enough money to survive in this city, since taking you through travels is dangerous right now." Well, it is true that I'm weak.

Honestly that incident traumatized me, and it also left a scar on my body... Maybe I should buy a scarf to cover it up? I bet all the people we pass on the street wonder just how I survived such a wound... Wait!

I sigh. "Okay, I can agree with that plan more or less... But you still didn't adress the language issue, or the people downstairs issue, or the pregnancy issue." Which are all very important!

She smiles, a blush on her face. "We can talk about the language thing later, we can be quiet and... you can just pull out!" No way, that would be a horrible idea... But... now that I think about it... I do have my luck boost from Goderis. I think.

So it would make sense that my efforts to not impregnate her succeed. In fact my luck has been pretty godly, not only did I get that extra money from the noble lady, but Rudeus also caught Eris and I on the act, which was a blessing in disguise...

I take a deep breath. "Are you sure you're up to this Eris?" Is it stupid that I decided unprotected sex is okay because I may have a luck buff? No, it makes complete sense and I'm definitely not letting my hormones control me right now.

A grin appears on her face. "Why are you talking about being ready? You're the virgin here~." Ah, my heart has been broken in a thousand little pieces. Seriously what's with this mocking line...!?

Is what I would have said under normal circumstances, but considering Eris immediately picks me up, throws me into a bed, and gets on top of me, I stay pretty silent, the only noise coming out of me being gasps of surprise.

She puts her mouth close to my ear and begins whispering in a sultry voice. "Let's fix that." This is happening, I'm about to lose my virginity to a girl I stole from another man. A girl who also happens to look beautiful...!

This has to be a dream, there's no way something this good is happening to me of all people. Soon I'm gonna wake up in my room, and realize that I went to sleep too late and had weird dreams, definitely.

Ah, Eris is grinding against my crotch! This is definitely not a dream! "Someone is excited...!" Of course I am! Who wouldn't be excited when a well endowed fit woman starts to grind against their crotch!?

I can only blush. "Guide me Eris..." For I do not know what the fuck I'm supposed to do in this situation. Seriously where are the rest of my NTR bastard powers!? Am I supposed to steal woman using love and affection only!? Not that I'm a NTR Bastard of course.

She grins. "Geez, don't worry too much about it Subaru! Just do what feels natural." And then she starts taking off her shirt. "Humans were born to fuck you know? Just follow your instincts." You're a scary woman Eris.

And now Eris is a scary woman who's not wearing a shirt, only a bra, something which she quickly removes, becoming a woman who's tits are naked and free. My virgin mind is not ready for this, but my soul definitely is!

She backs off a little, giving me space. "Raise your hands Subaru, let's get naked!" I do as she say without complaint, and immediately she takes off my shirt. I cannot believe I really am about to fuck.

Before long Eris takes off her pants, and her underwear... And I do the same. To be honest it's like... a roll of events blurring together in my mind, it's all happening too fast, it's all happening too suddenly.

And before long Eris is atop of me, kissing me again and again. "I...!" A kiss. "Love...!" A kiss. "You...!" It may be weird to say this, but I never expected that my first time would be with such a enthusiastic woman... 

I always thought that if I ever got into bed with someone, I would be the one trying my best to please them, while they mostly just... get pleased, I guess. It feels... truly special to see someone give me so much affection like Eris is doing.

And as we kiss, and she compliments me... Thoughts of how Nina and Lancel are downstairs start to fade away. It's like Eris is slowly drawing me into her... our little garden, a place full of love where only we two exist.

I smile, it's definitely awkward, but it's true. "I love you two Eris! I love you a thousand times...!" I would even be willing to die for her, something which I know is an awful experience. Fucking frogs.

She chuckles and whispers in me ear. "Good. Now let me love your cock." W-wow, you just broke the romance angle so quickly...! "You're not gonna get any sleep tonight Subaru." She aligns herself to me.

My dick is about to enter her, but it's now that I notice something. "Hey Eris, I can't help, but notice that a guy can't exactly pull out when a girl is riding him." I wanna cum inside Eris so bad...! But it's such a bad idea...!

She shrugs. "Eh, we are gonna do it multiple times anyways, you were bound to screw it up eventually. Mister Virgin... Besides, I want your cum, so I would have leg locked you." She drops down.

As I enter Eris immediately a indescribable feeling reaches me, it's pleasure like I have never experienced before. Right...? For some reason something comes to mind, though I can't quite tell what it is.

Nonetheless, my thought process is completely ruined as Eris immediately starts to move, she doesn't even give me a moment to think about the consequences of what she's doing. Though really, someone of my age can only be so responsible.

Eris grins, she's blushing bright red. "This...! Feels... really good...! Guess that's what love adds to the bedroom." And speaking of bedroom, the poor bed is squeaking. It might not be able to handle Eris.

I need to make sure it can't handle Subaru either which is why I desperately move my hips too.  I will not be known as Purge Prince the pillow prince damn it! And more than anything, I do want to please Eris as well.

I'm letting out moans, as one would expect. "You're incredible...!" Yeah, Eris is the best. And she used to belong to another guy, I stole her like a villain... Why does the thought of that make this even better!?

Eris keeps moving like an animal. "Of course I am! B-but so are you!" Even in the middle of sex she can struggle with giving compliments. As expected of the cutest tsundere to ever exist.

I'm seriously reaching my limit. With Eris bouncing up and down, giving me bursts of pleasure each time she does so... There's no way I can hold on for long, even if I need to try it. So I put all my concentration into not cumming my brains out.

Gotta hold on...! I can't even speak anymore, so the only sounds heard around are the moans coming from me and Eris, and the squeaking of a surprisingly resilient bed, what a warrior it is.

As time goes on, I find that I'm resilient too. Because even as Eris rides me, her beautiful body moving in beautiful ways, I hold it in. Even though the girl I love is fucking me, I can still hold it in for just a bit longer...!

Eris screams, alerting everyone in a five kilometer radius probably. "Fucking put a baby on me already Subaru...!" And that's a line I can't resist, there's no way anyone could resist that! "I'm cumming, damn it...!" And as soon as I feel her getting even tighter...

I shout in warning. "Cumming...!" My mind goes white for a second, as I shoot loads inside the unprotected Eris. The very fertile Eris. The very much not ready for a child Eris. Goderis please help me!

I try to regain my breath. "That was great..." And now Subaru Natsuki officially cannot monologue about being a loser virgin anymore. Just a loser non-virgin. Oh how the world spins.

Eris nods, a happy grin on her face. "Yeah! Now let's go again!" I might die tonight.

But now that she has made that comment, for some reason I begin wonderland how my fellow isekai comrades are doing...

///////

"Ah, I really wish I was dead right now..." Those are my honest feelings. To be honest I never thought Eris of all people would come back just to swing at my face with all her available might.

It's not like I hadn't tought of the possibility of Eris being stolen of course... It was always constantly on my mind, but seeing is different. Though... apparently she didn't even get stolen, she just left for years and then found a guy.

Is it wrong that I'm hoping their happy little relationship gets ruined? Absolutely. Do I care? No. I seriously hope that guy gets his just desserts! Isn't his isekai experience going too well!? A few weeks and he already bagged a cutie like Eris!? Please perish already you bastard.

Well, at least I will always have Fitz... I think. I need to find some way to confront her, to see if she can heal my junior... Then who knows!? Maybe I'll show Eris a good time! Steal her from that little bastard...!

Somebody pats my shoulder. "Rudeus, Rudeus, normally when I call you here you react immediately, but this time you're totally lost..." It's the Human God. And it is as he said, I was totally ignoring him.

I glare at him with all my might, though I am in my... older form here, so I doubt I look very intimidating. "Go to hell. Burn in hell. I know hell definitely exists considering the whole deal with gods and all, so go pay it a visit." That's probably where I'm going when I die too... So maybe this bastard should stay out of there now that I think about it.

The Human God sighs. "What's with all of this hostility? And after I came here to check on you... Honestly, at this point I expect a bit of trust, my visits have always been helpful haven't they?" If a guy is asking for trust, that's  how I know I shouldn't trust him.

I point at him. "S-shut up! You set me up, I came here to heal my precious son, and in the end all I got was humiliation!" The only reason why I didn't speedrun through this life with the power of a noose is because Fitz comforted me...

She really is a pure angel... Maybe too much of an angel considering she kept making excuses for that Subaru guy, but that's the price you pay for hanging out with someone like her. If she sees worth in trash like me, of course she's gonna see worth in trash like him. I'm more... my new body is more handsome than that ugly eyed loser though!

The Human God pouts. "Geez, it was a sacrifice I needed to make you know? Your precious key to a woman's dungeon is only kinda working again because you came here and met Fitz, isn't that right?" I guess that's true...

Now it's my turn to pout. "So... what do you want anyways?" I guess I should try being less ungrateful to the guy. I don't know why his information only comes sometimes, but he has indeed helped me.

He smiles. "Rudeus, if you wish for this world to live on... If you wish for Roxy to be happy..." My goddess!? The world!? Both of them are in danger!? "You must call her here... post haste. I'll give you the exact place you should contact, she's with your father by the way." Paul... Paul has unrestricted access to my teacher...

I fall to my knees. "It's over..." Today is the worst day in my entire life. And I was so happy recently! I was hanging out with friends, I was learning, I was slowly but surely facing my sexuality! Not gay by the way!

The Human God tilts his head. "Oh? You think your father would do something bad?" I... Nah, Paul has changed, he wouldn't cheat on mom and Lilia like that. "I imagine that you're acting like this because of stuff involving Eris, right?" Damn it, don't even mention her...!

I wanna cry. "Of course I am! I mean, Eris finding another man!? I don't want that, I want her to think about me and no one else for the rest of my life...! Even if I die, I want to be on her mind for ten years at least!" Oops, my true feelings came out.

And now this bastard god is smiling. "Rudeus, what a man you are." I feel like you're mocking me! "But seriously, you must call her, for her life... the life of the entire world... rests upon her arrival to this school, and it must be done quickly too." This seems like a massive big deal.

Normally the Human God doesn't go as far as to say that the existence of the planet depends on me or anything. He tends to be a lot more... how do I say this... mysterious, but in a assholish way.

Which is why I raise a questioning eyebrow. "Well, I don't mind seeing Roxy again, but... Why is her presence so important in the first place?" No offense to my amazing teacher, but she isn't exactly Orsted. If the world is about to end, shouldn't I send a letter to Lugunica's golden child or something?

The Human God makes a serious expression. "I'm sorry, but I cannot say... And you cannot explain your true motives to Roxy as well, you must simply beg her to come." The expected response, I suppose. "But I warn you this... even the fate of your thin and short sword depends on this." Don't call it thin and short!

Wait a minute, don't tell me...! That my glorious teacher will fix my ED!? Ah, maybe I'm about to have a threesome with Fitz and Roxy...! That's right, the bad things that happened today where all just a test, to see if I was worthy of this!

I make a fake salute. "She'll come! I swear!" Somehow, I'll beg and cry on the letter if need be! Also the fate of the entire world is at stake here! So I don't even need to feel guilty about this...

The Human God chuckles. "Indeed... I have a feeling she will be coming lots and lots soon." She really is gonna heal my ED! Life. Is. Heaven!

//////////

"Ah...! Why did none of you prepare for travel like I said!?" As usual, my happy night is interrupted by a screeching Aqua. I just wanted to laze around for a bit. "Did you guys seriously ignore me!?" That's what I usually do.

Darkness however, actually has a bit of empathy, so she answers her question. "Well, not to be rude Aqua, but... You didn't even say the destination of this supposed journey. You just... started screaming." Yep, ever since the portal incident yesterday she has been like this.

Somehow she upgraded from awful Aqua, to horrible awful Aqua. Truly this worthless goddess is worthy of praise, always setting new records, such as adding more zeros to her debt.

Aqua stomps on the floor. "Don't worry about it...! But if you're curious, we are about to go see my boyfriend! Subaru Natsuki!" Ah, the guy from the portal? I had no idea what happened to him, but I'm glad he escaped hell or whatever.

Megumin raises an eyebrow. "You have a boyfriend...? Let me guess, he lives in the Dragon Continent, and he's super duper handsome too." I don't know where he lives, but he wasn't that handsome.

Aqua shrugs. "I don't know where he lives, but he was super duper handsome." Love is blind, and Aqua is stupid. So I suppose I cannot judge you over your bad taste in men... At least it isn't Mitsurugi.

Wait a minute. "What do you mean you don't know where he lives!? How do you expect us to go there...!?" Not that it matters anyways, I won't leave my comfy mansion behind just because Aqua wants to get laid. In fact I can never get laid, so neither can she.

Aqua pouts. "Don't worry about the details like that...! I'm sure love will guide us there! Or maybe I can go asking around for his name, since he is my beloved he probably already surpassed Reinhard Van Astrea in the fame department!" Well, maybe if they gave him a cheat...

Megumin sighs. "Don't even entertain her Kazuma. It's clear Aqua is going through some delusion right now." Oh? Normally you aren't that mean to her. "I mean, as if Aqua could get a boyfriend before me." Ah, so it was just your insecurity popping up...

Honestly I don't want to think about Megumin and the word boyfriend, it makes my heart race too fast... The same thing applies to Lalatina of course. Not to Aqua though, never to Aqua.

Speaking of Lalatina, she sighs and pats Aqua's shoulder. "There is no need to lie to us Aqua, we won't think any less of you for being a virgin." You talk as if you aren't one either, dirty bitch. "Kazuma~!" Ah, I said that outloud, my bad.

Aqua crosses her arms. "Geez, C'mon where is the call to adventure here!? Do none of you want to explore the world!? Do you not wish to see all manner of creature Darkness!? Do you not wish to put your name amongst the Seven Great Powers, Megumin!?" Ah, Aqua is trying to entice us. Wait, why didn't she throw a carrot my way!?

Darkness smiles. "While I'm interested in... exotic beings, I doubt any trash could be more trashy than Trashzuma. Kazutrash has a specially trashy talent after all." And like that, I'm ending all romance thought directed at you!

Megumin waves her off. "I suppose journeying around could indeed increase my already amazing strength, but I don't want to mindlessly run around." She pats her stomach. "For real." I have a feeling she's remembering dark times.

Aqua sends me a worried look. "Kazuma...! Help me please! You know I'm telling the truth here!" All I know is that you sexually harassed a poor teen. Seriously to have his heavenly meeting with Eris disturbed by this pest... Now that's hell.

I roll my eyes. "I honestly don't care. What's with you and this guy anyways? You saw him once." Unless Aqua has some secret backstory with him, but she didn't seem to recognize him back then.

Her attitude is honestly very weird. Aqua is... Oh my Eris I might throw up... Aqua is attractive, and so many men of all kinds have shown that type of interest towards her. She always rejects them though, without even a second thought.

I didn't think much of it until now of course, it's not like Aqua needs a lover or anything, but I will obviously find it weird when she's acting like this towards a guy she never met, and yet refuses to show any adventurer a crumb of affection.

Before Aqua can respond, Megumin raises an eyebrow. "Kazuma, are you implying that this imaginary boyfriend of Aqua is real? That would be quite idiotic, seeing as imaginary things cannot be real." Normally I would be with you, but...

I sigh. "Yeah, he's real... I saw him on a big ass portal that appeared here." I obviously don't mention Eris. Big portals made by unknown people? Believable. Goddesses? Crazy. "He's not Aqua's boyfriend though, just some poor sap she sexually harassed." If she was anyone, but Aqua, I would be feeling jealous or the guy.

Megumin's eyes widen, but she calms down right after it. "Well, as long as she doesn't have a boyfriend, that's fine." I'm surprised your insecurity towards this has progressed so far, that it isn't aimed only at Yun Yun currently.

Darkness blushes, because she's a fetishistic whore. "Oh~ Aqua, I didn't know you had such... talents..." She then makes a serious face. "Nonetheless, if you wish to bother a innocent young man, I shall stand as his shield!" You're so desperate for action that you're 'flirting' with Aqua!?

Speaking of the goddess, she has tears in the corner of her eyes. "I didn't sexually harass anyone!" She glares at me. "He's my soulmate! Soulmate damn it...! Your mortals may not always believe on the concept, but we gods know all about it!" Oh? Now that's interesting...

While Megumin snorts, Darkness sighs. "Aqua..." She then shakes her head and sadly mutters. "It's her mental illness again." I would feel sorry for my item, but I won't because... because she's Aqua.

Still, I'm obviously curious of what she's about to say. "Soulmates? What's that exactly?" I'm familiar with the term from anime and stuff, but I didn't think it was something that actually really existed.

Darkness glares at me. "Kazuma, do not encourage her, it's cruel..." You love cruel though, hypocrite. Anyways, I wave Darkness off and ignore her. I want to hear if Aqua actually has something interesting to say for once.

Aqua points at me. "A soulmate is just the most important thing ever...! It's when you meet a totally compatible soul with yours, who has been blessed by a god of love!" A compatible soul...? That guy is compatible with Aqua!? "The two people also need to look each other in the eyes, since it's a window to the soul." What about blind people?

She continues unaware of my new crisis. "When all of that aligns...! True love is born! Girls fall immediately, while it takes some time for boys, but they fall nonetheless!" That sounds more terrifying than anything. "It's super amazing...! Having someone who will always love me, and who I will always love..." I guess that does sound sort of nice.

However, since this is Aqua... I'll do this guy a solid and hold her down here. I don't want to be the reason why someone commits suicide, unless I'm stealing their girlfriend that is... Aqua is obviously out of whatever NTR radar I may have.

Aqua sends me a smile. "Do you see why we have to go now Kazuma!? Now pack your bags and let's hit the road! Do it fast before I smite you!" I wish you could smite anything at all to be honest...

Darkness fakes a cough. "Aqua, as romantic as the notion of a soulmate may sound... Doesn't immediately falling in love with a stranger sound scary?" Didn't you say we shouldn't encourage her? "Though I guess being forced to do horrible things because I look at someone at the wrong time does sound exciting." Ah, there's the Darkness I know.

Aqua looks at Darkness like she's a little child. "You don't understand it Lalatina." The crusader flinches at the sudden name call, hell even I do, considering the goddess never says it. "You're young, so, so young... You're just learning to be yourself at this point, things like destined love are far out of your mind." Right now she really is speaking like a eternally lived goddess. Creepy.

She continues, with the same condescending tone, she reminds me of a know it all parent. "But when you live as long as I have... To have someone who will eternally love you, to have someone who will never leave your side, someone who you will never want to leave your side. How wonderful, how beautiful, how amazing." There's a fond smile on her face. "Soulmates for goddesses are rare you know? I'm truly glad I found mine." I see...

Megumin snorts. "Aqua, right now you're acting even more virginish than Kazuma. Please stop before I burst out laughing at your pathetic display, nutjob." Oi!? Actually I sort of feel the same. Sorry Aqua.

Darkness gives the mage a horrified look. "Megumin, I understand you mean well, but..." She points at her own head. "Don't make fun of her sad condition!" If anyone here is mentally ill, it's you. Actually it's all of you, so your comment is fine, I suppose.

Aqua immediately begins to cry hysterically. "Ah...! I hate you guys! I hate you all!" She points at Darkness. "And don't you dare make fun of me, when your bimbo goddess is trying to make moves on my man!" Her bimbo goddess...? You don't mean...!

Darkness glares at her. "Aqua, everything has limits. I'll not tolerate any mean spirited insults towards Lady Eris!" She starts walking towards Aqua. "Specially over some pathetic boy- Ah!" And she trips and falls. No way.

Aqua has a smug look. "Heh, even goddess play favorites you know? Dumb, dumb. I hate that junior of mine, but even she wouldn't be happy with a believer of her insulting her lover." This guy needs to die.

There are limits to everything, and I draw the line at making the beautiful Eris fall in love with him...! You know what, now I really do hope Aqua finds him! How lucky can one guy get...! Actually Eris might be the balance he deserved for having the awful luck of attracting Aqua.

She looks at me. "Which brings me to my next point... Do you really wanna miss this opportunity Kazuma?" An opportunity to watch you drive a man insane? I can always look into a mirror. "I mean, what do you think happens when a man loved by Eris buys a lottery ticket?" 

I smile. "Aqua, let's go meet my bestest friend in the entire world!" It's clear that she's manipulating me, but in this case it's fine, since she's not wrong. It's kind of crazy that Aqua is actually making plans though.

Don't get me wrong, she can be cunning occasionally, but usually she can't keep up something for long term. If she doesn't immediately get satisfaction for something, she tends to give the game away... If this soulmate stuff is making Aqua think, then it's way too scary.

While Aqua cheers up, I receive a glare from my comrades. First Megumin. "Oi are you seriously buying onto her soulmate talk Kazuma? Are we seriously gonna travel around the world Kazuma?" Well, I do know she's a goddess...

Then Darkness. "Kazuma, please don't buy into her... scam talk. She's speaking like a Axis Order member." She is their goddess after all, the one who actually founded that religion full of idiots.

I wave them off. "It will be fine... We can have Wiz teleport us there... Or at least close to there in case it's really far away." The benefits of having a endgame boss as a friend! Also, we need her anyways.

As usual, I'm drowning in debt, so if I try to leave the country or something crazy... Then I'll definitely be stopped by a debt collector. Though then again, we are in the middle of a war I guess, so things are pretty chaotic...

Megumin looks at me like I'm an idiot. "I see supreme leader Kazuma... May I ask where we are teleporting too?" Isn't it obvious my non-supreme underling? We are teleporting to... Ah, right.

I look towards the goddess. "The trip towards my golden ticket is canceled, your bad Aqua." I would say my bad, but this is not my fault in anyway, shape or form. Seriously she couldn't even bother to get his address!?

Aqua throws herself at me, gripping my shoulders and shaking. "C'mon Kazuma...! You can't do this to me! You made me descend from the heavens, and now I can't even spend time with my soulmate...!" It's not my fault you're an idiot.

I sigh. "Aqua we literally don't even know where the guy is." Trust me, I want to abuse his cheat luck too... Man, I wonder how strong it could become if Aqua buffed it... Damn it, if only she wasn't a idiot.

There's tears in her eyes. Good. "B-but...! Kazuma...!" She looks down. "If only I was in heaven, then I could see him at any time..." Huh?

I raise an eyebrow. "So he did end up dying after all!? I obviously can't go to the afterlife!" I already died plenty of times, I'm not trying to die again. Specially for a dude of all things... If it was a girl then... No, not even for a cute girl.

Aqua releases my shoulders, and shakes her head. "Nah, I managed to convince Eris into putting his soul back into his body. It's just that if I was back in heaven, I could have just sent a tsunami his way! That way we could stay together..." Oi, oi, oi!

She continues with a smile on her face. "Well, since I'm stuck here until we beat the Demon King, I obviously don't want him to die... Eris is a naive girl who won't kill him, thankfully." How is not killing your lover naive!?

My eyes widen. "Lady Aqua, are thee perhaps acting a bit... total fucking crazy right now!? You would drawn your eternal love to death!?" Yep, I'm totally doing this guy a solid by eternally keeping Aqua out of his life. And I doubt we are ever gonna kill the Demon King so she can go back home, so he should be safe.

Aqua tilts her head. "Crazy...? C'mon drowning isn't even that bad of a death." Yes it is! It's one of the worst ones imaginable! Also, the problem here isn't pain, it's that you're willing to kill someone. "Though gods are known to act weirdly around our soulmates..." I can see that!

She continues. "I mean, it's natural that we get anxious right? This is the type of stuff that will either make or break a goddesses life you know?" There's a sudden gleam on her eyes. "You know Kazuma... Eris definitely knows Subaru's location." Scary! This Aqua is scary!

I take a few steps back. "I can see what you want from a mile away, and no I won't throw my life for your boyfriend." Megumin, Darkness, help! I can't help, but notice that you bastards are suspiciously quiet right now!

Aqua pouts. "C'mon Kazuma... I promise I'll bring you back! I'll convince Eris to let you go no matter what, that's a promise!" I know you will, but dying hurts damn it! It's not a comedic event I can just shrug off! Except for when it is!

My eye twitches. "I know this is crazy coming from me, but no means no Aqua." Considering her sexual harassment towards my golden ticket, she probably didn't know that until now.

Aqua smiles. "Okay! Got it! I guess I'll go drink myself to sleep now!" Ah, finally... This is the Aqua I know, if something takes too much effort she will just give up on it. I bet she won't even remember this Subaru guy by tomorrow.

A sudden realization hits me. "Hey great goddess Aqua, you won't kill me while I'm asleep will you?" You can never know with this new yandere Aqua. If this soulmate stuff is like this, then I kinda want one! 

She shakes her head. "Of course I won't Kazuma...! Life is sacred!" Well, you are a goddess, I guess.

...

Tonight, I Kazuma Satou experienced death by being drowned while sleeping. Yandere goddesses are scary!