I May Be A Vampire 12 (Patreon)

"Hey, you think she's gonna be fine...?" Hajime sent a worried glance towards the passed out mage.

Him and Aoko had lifted her up, and put her to rest on the sofa, but he couldn't help, but think that maybe calling the hospital would be a better idea. Perhaps it was naive of him, but he had never seen someone getting knocked out like that.

Aoko waved him off. "It's fine... Riddell is tough as hell, she's probably gonna get up any minute now." The heiress wasn't exaggerating.

In the end, May Riddell Archelot was a Meinster Witch, and while she wasn't as powerful as Alice, she was still more than tanky enough to take a few punches.

Aoko thought she was actually being a bit of a drama queen with the whole passing out thing. Sure, Aoko had aimed to break a few bones, but that was nothing!

Hajime sighed. "If you say so."

His answer made the heiress pout. "Why are you defending her? She's the one who touched you... erm... inappropriately!" And so it was within Aoko's rights to defend her boyfriend!

Though anyone with eyes could have seen the whole thing was an accident. You would need to be a idiot to think otherwise.

Hajime was an idiot. "You're right, sorry... I shouldn't be defending her." She was just some super star who went around doing whatever she pleased without paying any mind to the consequences of her actions.

In essence, she was a jerk.

Aoko smiled. "I'm glad you're seeing it my way. Besides, her days are numbered once Alice gets here anyways."

Hajime raised an eyebrow. "Do they hate each other?" Well, Riddell was insulting Alice without shame, so...

Aoko hummed. "Hate is a strong word... But then again, Alice is a strong girl... I'd say they don't hate each other, Alice just hates guests." The truth is that even if she didn't look like it at first glance, Alice was a emotional girl.

She was far worse than Aoko herself in some ways, she was just far better at hiding. The type of woman who could spend decades planning revenge against someone who had slighted bothered her.

May was insanely good at bothering people, it was something she was proud of doing even. And so those two naturally butted heads here and there. Two natural enemies.

Hajime looked down. "Hey Aoko... I'm a guest..." And therefore Alice would hate him.

Aoko chuckled. "So you are." It should be fine however, Alice had a soft spot for the boy. She really was emotional, deciding she liked someone just because he looked above average.

Still, Hajime was definitely unaware of that. So Aoko decided that she should help him obtain some peace of mind. "Hey Wada, let's buy takeout." It was time to torture some people.

Aoko and Alice were demons without soul. At least that's how they were commonly perceived by the restaurants of Misaki Town. Getting up in the mountain to deliver food wasn't easy after all, and those two basically lived off takeout.

Hajime wasn't really thinking about that, but he was a bit confused nonetheless. "Are you hungry, Aozaki?" It wasn't late yet. It felt a bit soon for dinner.

Aoko shook her head. "Nope. I bet Alice will be when she comes back though, so we might as well prepare something for her." Hopefully she won't eat without Aoko. Doing that would break so many unwritten rules...

Hajime put a hand to his chin. "I see... In that case, do you mind if I use the kitchen?" Perhaps it was finally time to put the skills his father taught him to good use.

Why Hajime wanted to use the kitchen was obvious. Aoko however, immediately entered into denial mode. "Sure... Why though?" Her poor brain couldn't even imagine a guy... someone in general being capable of cooking.

She had been living of takeout for such a long time...

Hajime smiled. "I'm thinking about cooking for Kuonji. That way we can save money." It would certainly come cheaper, specially since he wouldn't need to buy ingredients.

Failure would be catastrophic of course, since Hajime would have wasted the ingredients of someome else, but he was up to the challenge. He wasn't an incredible cook or anything, but he could certainly rival one!

Aoko smiled. "I'm sure Alice would appreciate that! Go for it!" Ayup.

Even someone as cold as Alice would have her heart melted if someone cooked for her. There was no way anyone could ever resist such magic, specially since Alice too was living of takeout.

Hajime got up from the sofa. "I'll find my way to the kitchen then. I have no time to waste after all." He would avoid any weird rooms along the way. The mansion had rules after all.

Aoko sent him a thumbs up. "Good luck!" Now she was looking forward to this too!

Hajime left the room, Aoko didn't bother to guide him to the kitchen. He was already gonna spend the night here, so he might as well get used to the place.

However, Aoko now had no one to talk to. "Should I turn the TV...?" Surprisingly enough, that marvelous piece of technology had gone unused.

Since Hajime had left, Aoko could no longer chat with him, and if she was being honest to herself, she kinda disliked that. Maybe she should have followed him into the kitchen?

Yeah, the kitchen, where her boyfriend was making food for her.

Just the thought of it was enough to make Aoko smile from ear to ear.

Except... now that she thought about it a bit more, her boyfriend wasn't really cooking for her, was he? He was cooking for Alice. Her own boyfriend was currently making food for another damn woman!

Aoko got up from the sofa with a jump. "I'm going to commit homicide." She didn't even know who she was going to kill, but someone would perish tonight.

May woke up screaming. "A-argh...! Ah!" She was holding her head with both hands, as if trying to protect herself from a monster.

What the witch didn't understand, is that the monster had never stopped watching her body. "Oh, a volunteer." Maybe if Aoko knocked May out again, she would feel better.

May sat up, repeating words to herself as if they were a mantra. "Forget it! Forget it! Forget it! Forget it!" As it went on and on, her tone got more and more desperate.

It was certainly enough to make Aoko more confused than angry, so she sat back down with a look of curiosity. "Forget what?" Maybe that time Riddell had fallen on her boyfriend's crotch?

Oh look at that, Aoko's anger was returning.

Riddell sighed. "Ugh, I don't remember..." Mission success? "Anyways! Why the hell did you hit me like that, you ogre!? I'll sue you back to the stone age for even thinking of ruining my flawless skin!"

To that Aoko could only say one thing. "Ah, I get why your fans either only care about your music or your body." Aoko was on the first camp.

May looked like she wanted to search for a bridge. "Most don't even care about the first part, so I'll take that as a compliment." Being a popstar truly was a nightmare.

The Witch looked away. "You know, there is currently a bet amongst my fandom to decide whether I'll die of a overdose in my thirties or not." Aoko thought her fandom had a surprisingly good level of organization, if they were capable of making such bets.

"That's depressing... So, are you feeling okay? Do you need a cup of water or something?" Being knocked out couldn't be good for you.

May clicked her tongue. "Are you really taking care of someone you hurt in the first place?" The witch truly didn't understand gorillas like the Aozakis, and as far as she was concerned, that was a good thing.

She crossed her arms. "Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, the reason why you knocked me out was..." As the dizziness left her, she remembered what the train had shouted. "That boy is your boyfriend." How shameful.

Aoko was the heiress of the Aozaki, the owner of Misaki Town. She couldn't just decide to start dating some random boy who didn't even know about the existence of magecraft in the first place.

Aoko raised an eyebrow. "So what? You're gonna do something about it, witch?"

Riddell was thinking on whether she should or not. This behavior was reprehensible after all. In the end however, she decided this would be Alice's problem. The witch was Aoko's teacher, so she could fix this mess.

She shook her head. "If you want to dig your own grave, feel free to go ahead. It's none of my business." She didn't care one bit about this.

Aoko snorted. "Jealous little witch." And Riddell couldn't help, but feel like she got punched in the face.

Aoko had hit the target right on the mark.

May couldn't date, and she couldn't date for two big reasons. The first being that she was both a magus, and a popstar. This essentially cut off normal people from the dating pool.

The second was that she was a witch. Dating a witch was bound to end in misery, as everyone knew.

May was actually a bit luckier than the average witch. She could fall in love without her soul being rotted away, and hell, her father had even survived the "curse", even if her mother had died, presumably to it.

Nonetheless, convincing a normal magus that dating her was totally survivable was harder than it sounded.

And it also didn't help that witches weren't respected in general by the Clock Tower.

And it also didn't help, that May had no desire of dying so young.

Even so, she naturally grew a bit resentful of the word "date", and she had definitely become the type who wished the whole world would explode during Valentines Day. Aoko had accidentally struck a critical weakness.

May could only cower. "Y-yeah, w-well... Where is Wada anyways? Did he go home?" She hoped he had. That way she could feel more comfortable here.

Aoko shrugged. "He's..." A scowl appeared on her face. "Cooking." This little talk with May had distracted her for a bit, but she now remembered the true enemy!

A weak smile appeared on the witch's face. "Ah, nice. I'm pretty hungry..." She still found it crazy that Alice didn't have a professional chef. "I gotta admit, having a guy cook for you must be pretty cool, even if he is a muggle."

And so, May too landed a critical hit. "Wanna lose some teeth?"

"What the hell did I do!?" And so time passed with Aoko bullying the witch.

Until the other witch returned to her mansion. "Ah, you're here..." As soon as Alice entered the living room, she glared at her self proclaimed rival.

The descendant of Yumina had a massive headache after another day of useless hunting, and so she really didn't need this annoying Ploy thief in her property. She might have to punish her for showing up unannounced.

Even May could tell Alice was pissed off, those blank eyes of despair told no lies after all.

So she awkwardly waved at her. "Y-yo, Alice..." The Meinsteir Witch was clearly silently awaiting an explanation. "I'm here to help you hunt down that Dead Apostle... hahaha." She could only laugh out of nervousness at the end.

Alice didn't seem convinced at all. "I see, but from what I understand you have no experience dealing with Dead Apostles?" She motioned towards the silent Aoko. "Furthermore, Aoko is my helper."

Though Alice hadn't taker her today. That Dead Apostle had made things personal after all, this couldn't just be a lesson anymore.

Aoko meanwhile, wouldn't speak out even if someone offered her a million dollars. She had expected Alice to be somewhat angry upon her return, but she didn't expect this! Hatred was basically radiating from the witch!

May looked everywhere that wasn't the witch. "R-right, but I c-can still help...! My gobl-."

"I don't care for your help. Go back home." It may have been a rude thing to say, but Alice didn't care. Specially since May could just take a helicopter anyways.

Alice made a error, however.

May Riddell Archelot was a prideful woman, and she couldn't just back out when pushed like this, specially since Alice was her rival! With that said, she was also too scared to talk back.

So she did the only smart thing she could think off. She pushed the fire somewhere else. "Ah... Did you hear about how Aoko is dating a normal guy?" It wasn't subtle at all, but it didn't need to be.

Aoko swore she would one day kill this witch. Well, she would do that if she survived the scarier witch first.

Alice's eye twitched. "Another one?" Immediately her glare shifted towards Aoko. "When we are dealing with a threat? Do you lack a brain?" Normally she wouldn't be so confrontational.

She would be totally fine awaiting for Aoko to burn down her own relationship, as it could be a important lesson. However, this was the second time this had now happened, and it also didn't help Alice had a bad mood.

Aoko wasn't expecting this much agression. "W-well..." She honestly didn't know what to say.

And then May realized something. Wasn't Alice's reaction strange?

She hadn't thought about it when she snitched, but shouldn't Alice already know this? Aoko did say they had permission for the boy to visit the mansion and all that...

Had Aoko lied?

May didn't have the strength to pass up on such an amazing attack. "By the way, her boyfriend is on this mansion, and Aoko said she had your permission for it."

The heiress of the Aozaki became paralyzed. She wondered if this would explode into another fight between her and her teacher. Those weren't exactly uncommon, since both always refused to back down.

Alice took a deep breath. "Aoko, explain."

Aoko quickly nodded. "It's Wada! He survived the vampire attack, because she acted like a normal person and talked with him! So now I brought him here to keep surveillance and stuff!" She was speaking with as much speed as she could manage.

May obviously had no idea what Aoko was talking about, so her confusion skyrocketed.

Alice's jaw slowly hit the floor. "What...?" Hajime Wada had survived? That was... nice. Alice figured he had been killed by the vampire, so this was a good surprise. She didn't understand the rest however.

Aoko was just glad Alice's murderous aura had somewhat diminished. "Y-yeah, I'm sorry I sprung this on you, but I figured we needed to keep watch on him. At least for one day." Or maybe a week. Or maybe a month.

Actually, vampires were immortal. Maybe this Dead Apostle had a plan that would span one whole year! Perhaps even more!

Alice slowly made her way to the sofa. "That's... I can see the logic behind your actions, Aoko." She sat down besides the witch. "I shall allow him to stay for tonight."

May didn't know how to feel about Alice's decision, but in the end it was her mansion. She was just glad the witch had forgotten about kicking her out.

May Riddell Archelot didn't get kicked out from places, she left of her own volition.

Aoko sat back down. "Oh, awesome." She didn't know what else to say, she wasn't expecting her teacher to change her normally stubborn mind so quickly.

Alice looked around. "So where is Wada? I haven't seen him yet..." That boy was on her house... she was feeling strange.

Aoko shrugged. "He's cooking for me." For Alice. "You can have some if you want to though, he wouldn't say no when he's literally on your house." Also, his whole goal was placating the witch.

Alice smiled slightly. "Very well then, I won't pass on that."

May tilted her head. "Wow, you're very accepting of this, Alice." She should probably not even talk, since it drew attention to her, but whatever. She was way too surprised at the witch's attitude.

Alice closed her eyes, annoyed at having this witch in her home. "Wada has helped me before, therefore it's only natural I help him now." It was a simple exchange. Even a witch couldn't hide from the concept of fairness.

May had no idea what a muggle could even do to help a witch, but she nodded her head. "That makes sense. Just make sure to separate Aozaki from him, don't let them sleep together."

Aoko glared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what that is supposed to mean." If Alice saw something lewd, she would probably combut. May had to protect her rival from such an awful ending.

Alice raised an eyebrow. "I don't."

Both May and Aoko immediately sent her incredulous looks. Truly this is what it meant to be innocent. To be pure.

And now it was May's responsibility to ruin that innocence. "You know..." Alice didn't know. "Ugh... it's because... well, if you put them in the same room they might have sex and stuff." She felt like a young child when being watched by Alice.

But she had to tell her, for she knew Aoko was secretly a pervert.

Aoko thought to herself that maybe she had been going a bit too fast with the thigh touching.

And Alice... "S-sex?" She was surprised.

Suddenly her brain clicked. She hadn't put too much thought on it until now, but Aoko was dating Hajime huh? When had that started? Were they already dating way back when Alice first met him?

How strange... She found that she was involuntarily clenching her fists. And the strangest part of it all, is that she wanted something to be between those fists. Perhaps Aoko's neck?

That sounded really nice.

Aoko was clueless about all of this. She just knew Alice had suddenly become angry for some reason. "W-Wada and I just recently got together... There's no way we would do that."

"Aoko, if I catch you doing anything perverted under my roof, I will kill you." A simple and understandable answer, totally.

Aoko flinched. "R-right..." And then it hit her.

Alice wasn't the type who just moved on, even if it was a simple crush, and even if Alice didn't even understand she had a crush in the first place. She was the type of girl who silently planned revenge instead...

This territory wasn't safe, both for her and her boyfriend. Aoko would need to sleep with one eye open from now on, she would need to be careful, or the witch would definitely end her life using a ploy.

W-well, surely even Alice had limits...?

Alice hummed. "Good." She wondered how long Aoko could survive an assault by Wandersnatch. That sounded like good training, right?

Yeah. Training.

Footseps echoed across the room. "I'm done!" Hajime had finally finished. "Ah, hello Miss Kuonji! Sorry that I'm intruding!" He hoped the food was good enough to save his life.

Alice found herself getting confused yet again. How strange, the more Hajime talked with her, the more she felt like strangling Aoko.



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"Thank you for the food, Wada." Hajime was a happy vampire.

Everyone had ate his food without any complaint, even May, who he had assumed would be very picky due to her status as a popstar. Overall he would consider this little kitchen adventure as a success.

Their smiles were almost enough to make him forget Arcueid had gone missing. Almost. He was getting so worried that the thought of sneaking at night and looking for her was starting to penetrate his mind.

Alice took a deep breath. "We must now discuss where everyone shall sleep. First of all, you are forbidden from even entering Aoko's room. Understood?"

The witch felt that if such thing happened, she would need to kill the boy. She had no use for used toys... Not that Hajime was a toy in the first place. Her mind was going to strange places.

Hajime didn't even get what Alice was implying. "Of course! I'll sleep wherever you let me sleep, Miss Kuonji!" He was just doing his best to not come off as rude.

Alice smiled. "No need to call me miss, Wada. We already know each other for a long time." No they didn't. What was up with her? She was acting strange...

Though she supposed acting strange around Hajime had almost become normal.

May raised a hand. "If I may interject... Send this sucker to sleep on the attic, Alice!" She was still not over falling into his dumb crotch, and so she would do anything to get revenge!

Aoko glared at the cocky witch. "Watch what you say..." She would defend her boyfriend!

Well, Aoko always knew Alice was gonna kick him to the attic, but that was supposed to happen out of Alice's own volition. Riddell and her little comments could go straight to hell.

Alice... agreed with that. "You may not interject." The nerve of her... after she had stolen her ploy at that. She should consider herself lucky that Alice was even letting her live.

Though if one where to ask Riddell, she hadn't stolen a damn thing. She had borrowed it, and then paid huge amounts of money to keep it! Sure, Alice hadn't consented to the transaction, but that was just her being shy. Surely.

Alice continued. "Wada may stay at a room next to mine. That way he will be as far away as possible from Aoko." The two had split the mansion between them after all.

More than that however, this would let Alice protect the boy. The mansion was dangerous after all, and if he took the wrong step he could even fall upon a different dimension.

Well, if he got into trouble because of his own curiosity, Alice would not help him.

Aoko nodded. "Well, we don't have any issues with that." She didn't hesitate to speak for Hajime. That was her right as his girlfriend!

Though it's not like Hajime had any objections anyways. This wasn't even his house, so he already felt lucky he was getting a room. Though in his defense, spending the night here had not been his idea.

He had to admit though, being next to the owner of the house was inconvenient.

Even if it was bad of him, Hajime wanted to explore this big mansion. That opportunity had now sadly been stolen from him. It really was a shame, but Hajime couldn't get angry at Alice for it.

May pouted. "You're too nice, Alice." She wanted to tell her that a true witch would have sent this boy back home, but she couldn't even mention magecraft with him staying here in the first place.

Alice smiled. "I'm glad you think so. You will be sleeping on the attic, however." The witch liked bullying and toying with her fellow witch. It was a simple and enjoyable pleasure.

"Why!?"

And so everyone's sleeping places were decided.



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Hajime laid down on his bed. "What a mess." The day hadn't been too bad, he even had fun...

So why was he feeling so... discontent?

Was it because of Aoko? The two had started dating today, and so maybe Hajime had been really unhappy with the relaying? No, that couldn't be it. She had done nothing wrong so far.

Then was it because of May? She had made Hajime uncomfortable with her antics, and something about her seemed off to the vampire... Nah, he had more or less gotten used to her presence at this point.

So if that wasn't the two, maybe it was because of Alice? It... definitely wasn't. The girl had been super nice so far. Though Hajime was admittedly scared of sleeping at her house. This was enemy territory.

Perhaps it was because his father was gonna kick his ass? Hajime had left a note behind, but he doubted that would be enough. He was definitely grounded, even if his father hadn't had the opportunity to make it official yet.

It wasn't any of those things that were leaving him stressed. Hajime knew exactly what the problem was, and no amount of denying was going to change anything.

Where the hell was Arcueid? Did she leave?

Hajime Wada closed his eyes with that thought constantly repeating in his mind.

He dreamt of the ocean, of the universe. As usual.



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"Good morning, Wada." As soon as he woke up, he was greeted by Alice.

The witch was sitting next to his bed in a chair. She had decided to come here once she woke up, to watch and protect him. As previously said, the mansion could be very dangerous. And this was specially so for normal humans.

It goes without saying, but Alice's behavior was extremely creepy, and a person wouldn't be blamed for being terrified of it.

Thankfully Hajime was not normal. So he considered the fact that she could be watching him sleep for one second... realized it was a ridiculous thought to have and threw it away.

He was just glad someone bothered to greet him, so he smiled towards her. "Good morning to you as well, Kuonji." He had had a nightmare, so this was a nice way of calming him down.

Alice stared at him. At first at his smile, but then at his eyes.

That made her reevaluate this entire situation. Hajime's smile was far brighter then she had given him credit for at first. It felt like looking at the bright Sun, except she would gladly lose her eyesight for this.

Actually, now that she thought about it, Hajime himself felt like he had just come off a book. Alice didn't know how to describe it, but there was a... presence to him.

It felt... strong. Like looking directly at a fairy tale.

Alice forgot how to breathe.

She could only admire the... thing in front of her. It looked far more special than it had looked yesterday, it was the type of scenario she would never forget for as long as she lived.

The sunlight from the window began shining upon him. It made Alice mad. How dare the Sun try and touch something so far beyond its station? That was hubris. That was far worse than hubris.

Hajime tilted his head. "Um... Kuonji?" He was getting worried. Normally he loved silences like this, but... her face was becoming blue.

Alice's eyes widened. Since when did people speak like music? Hajime really was amazing... And now the Sun was starting to reflect off his golden eyes. Normally she would get furious at it, but just this time it worke-.

Golden eyes?

Alice remembered how to breathe, and got up. "Wada, are you feeling okay?" She had just returned from a weird trip.

So now she had to figure out what was happening.

Hajime was somehow even more confused. "Um... yeah? I'm more or less fine." He was actually getting a bit thirsty, which definitely wasn't good. He needed to drink something when nobody was looking.

Alice grit her teeth. "Wada, you..." Was this some ability of his? Was he an enemy in disguise?

No, he definitely wasn't having the reaction from an enemy.

Alice finally came up with a theory. Some people reacted weirdly towards magical energy, and Hajime was surrounded by it while being a normal person. He was most likely having some sort of allergic reaction.

Which was really, really bad. "You are sick and tired, go back to sleep." She needed to have a small reunion with Aoko and May to decide upon her next step.

Obviously they couldn't reveal anything related to magecraft to the boy, but they had to do something about his... eye condition. What if it was permanent? He would notice his eyes had changed. He would learn about magecraft.

Well... in that case Alice supposed she would just kill him.

The boy pouted. "I'm feeling fine, really."

"You are not. Sleep."

"I am."

"You are not." This went on for a while.



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AN: Ah... the official English release of Tsukihime Re is so close, I can almost taste it...! Ciel my beloved!

If I die before Red Garden is released, I'll come back as a ghost and haunt Nasu.