Midnight Pals: Desert Planet (Patreon)

Stephen King: so i'm gonna go over to space coven tonight to tell a story
Clive Barker: what, the sci fi nerds? good luck with that
King: oh they're not so bad once you get to know them, clive
Barker: i do not intend to know nerds

King: look, clive, you know mary goes over to the sci fi campfire sometimes
Barker: i do not believe it
King: it's true! she invented sci fi, you know
Barker: mary shelley? OUR mary shelley? the queen witch?
Barker: she invented being a nerd?

Barker: oh steve
Barker: you can't expect me to swallow that whopper
King: it's true! edgar, tell him
Poe: steve's right, clive. she really did
Barker:
Barker: well now i just don't know what to believe

King: i know those sci fi guys are a little odd but
King: if you ever want to read a prose version of a mildly confusing math problem
King: i mean bam they're your guys!
Barker:
Barker: yeah well
Barker: have fun with that

King: you know, clive a lot of science fiction actually deals with important issues in today's society?
King: they really make you think
[at space coven]
Robert Heinlein: so once we space-stead Pinochet's Gulch on an asteroid, we'll be free from the tyranny of age of consent laws

[at space coven]
King: so in this story they invent a way to travel through space
King: but you have to be unconscious for it to work
Frank Herbert: i have a better idea for space travel
Herbert: what if you had to get really blasted

Herbert: let me explain my vision steve
Herbert: In a distant time
Herbert: And far away place
Herbert: The planet Arrakis floats deep in space
Herbert: Sky of three suns
Herbert: Land of precious spice
Herbert: The melange rush brought great houses at any price

Herbert: Then one day, a Muad'Dib appeared
Herbert: With powers of hawk, wolf, puma and bear
Herbert: Protector of peace, scion of the Bene Gesserit ladies
Herbert: Champion of justice, Marshall Paul Atreides!
King:
King: hey how many of those mushrooms did you eat

Herbert: so the important thing about Dune, okay,
Herbert: is there's all this political intrigue
Heinlein: and worms?
Herbert: yeah yeah there's gonna be worms
Herbert: let's talk about these factions though
Heinlein: how big are the worms

Herbert: you're gonna love this story
Herbert: though its not as great as the melodic beauty & divine truth of the 114 surahs of the Qur'an
Heinlein:
Herbert: inshallah
Heinlein: why do you always have to put so much islam in it
Herbert: i just
Herbert: i just think its neat

Mary Shelley: [busting into clearing] sup fuckers
Shelley: who's ready for their weekly beating?
Heinlein: no! no! not mary shelley!
Heinlein: have mercy!!!
Heinlein: here, take all our lunch money!
Heinlein: just don't punish us anymore!

King: mary! Is this what you've been doing when you come to this campfire?
Shelley: [wailing on Heinlein] what? oh yeah, p much.