Midnight Pals: Trilby (Patreon)

George du Maurier: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of trilby
du Maurier: its about this girl named trilby that everyone loves
du Maurier: cuz she's just the best
du Maurier: sweet cinnamon bun too good for this world

du Maurier: let me tell you, you're gonna go gaga for trilby
du Maurier: she's so great
du Maurier: what are you gonna do when the power of trilbymania runs over you

du Maurier: trilby, she's so beautiful. just the hottest woman you've ever seen
Edward Lee: bro Lee: are we talking like [gestures to indicate huge tits]
du Maurier: oh no no no nothing sordid like that
Lee: bro
du Maurier: please! i'm british!

du Maurier: trilby is the most delicate bloom of irish womanhood and possessing the fairest traits of her sex
Lee: bro
du Maurier: by which i mean feet
Lee:
du Maurier: and by god what feet does she have
Lee:

du Maurier: trilby has the most beautiful, amazing, delectable feet
du Maurier: you just wanna eat 'em up
du Maurier: and now with the new official trilby brand iced cream, you can!

du Maurier: lovingly crafted by the finest confectioners of old europe, the trilby popsicle is a treat for young and old
du Maurier: now YOU too can feel what its like to suck on trilby's perfect toes
du Maurier: just really slurp on em

du Maurier: the trilby foot popsicle, coming soon to a friendly's near you
Lee: bro
Lee: how does it taste?
du Maurier: try one
Lee:
Lee: yeah ok 

du Maurier: it won't hurt you but it might make you more powerful and muscular

du Maurier: i see you're all wearing your official brand trilby hats
du Maurier: how do you all feel about trilby now?
King: milady
Koontz: milady
Poe: milady
Barker: milady
Lovecraft: milady

du Maurier: everybody loves the new trilby-inspired trilby hat!
King: [tipping trilby] i do feel a certain joie de vivre
King: in fact
King: i feel a song coming on
King: HIT IT, BOYS!
King: A LITTLE BIT OF MONICA ON THE SIDE, A LITTLE BIT OF

du Maurier: but then trilby comes under the control of the evil svengali
du Maurier: you can recognize him by his big hook nose and that he's always carrying around big sacks of money with dollar signs on them
Lovecraft: wow this is the greatest villain of all time!

du Maurier: svengali hypnotizes trilby to force her to sing
du Maurier: to go out on stage and perform
du Maurier: with her big stinky feet
du Maurier: big stinky feet, you can see the smell lines coming off them
du Maurier: just the stinkiest