Midnight Pals: Possession (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: sso bad newsss
Rowling: i'm posssesssed by a transsphobic demon but my cheap ssskinflint of a piece of shit of a hussband won't pay for an exorcisssm
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Poe: um
Poe: well we're sorry to hear that

King: do you need us to take up a fund?
King: c'mon guys let's pitch in!
Barker: what the fuck? no
Barker: steve she's the richest author in the world
Barker: she can afford to pay for her own damn exorcism

King: now clive don't be like that!
King: this is the only way that we're gonna get another cormorant strike book
Barker: oh my god
King: i just gotta know if cormoran and robin get together!
Barker: oh
Barker: my
Barker: GOD

Rowling: um i'm not actually possssesssed
Rowling: it wasss a joke
King: oh
Poe: you might wanna workshop that one a little more
Rowling: yeah ssure
Barker: hm jokes really aren't your strong point
Barker: maybe stick to manifestos honey
Rowling: OK FINE I KNOW

Rowling: i wasss jussst trying to lighten the mood with a nice little harmlessss transsphobic joke and you all jump down my throat!!!
William Peter Blatty: you shouldn't joke about demonic possession
Blatty: that's a serious issue

Barker: see the reason the joke doesn't work
Rowling: the joke worked fine
Barker: is that demons, typically, make you do bad things
Rowling: you don't need to explain it
Barker: but, to you, transphobia is good
Rowling: jusst shut up ok?

Barker: i mean, what demon would even care about that?
Barker: except maybe mammon
King: why mammon?
Barker: dunno, he just seems like a real asshole