Midnight Pals: Tarot (Patreon)

Slimyswampghost: check it out, i designed some tarot cards
SSG: they work just like regular tarot cards
SSG: except they have scary monsters on them
SSG: with real fucked up corned beef faces

Poe: how's this work? like regular tarot cards?
SSG: oh yeah exactly
SSG: well i mean almost exactly
Poe: what do you mean almost exactly?
SSG:
Poe: what do you mean almost exactly?

Poe: that "almost exactly" kinda has me a little worried tbh
King: oh edgar you're being paranoid, i'm sure it's fine
King: it's fine, right, trevor?
SSG: yeah yeah it's fine
SSG: i mean it's mostly fine
King:

SSG: it's just there's this little thing about them
Poe: what's this little thing
SSG: well you know how usually with tarot cards
SSG: they tell your fortune?
Poe: yes?
SSG: with these instead
SSG: a monster kills you

Poe: "a monster kills you"
SSG: yes
Poe: is it the monster on the card?
SSG: yes its the monster on the card
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Barker: that sounds bad ass
King: yeah read my fortune
Poe: do me too
Lovecraft: me first!

SSG: [turning over card of a guy stabbed with 10 swords] ok howard so this is the 10 of swords
Lovecraft: uh huh
Lovecraft: and that's good right?

SSG: no actually its bad
Lovecraft: you do you figure
SSG: it says you're going to die
SSG: by getting stabbed by swords
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: oh
SSG: 10 of them, probably

King: ok now do me!
SSG: [turning over card] ok you got the 3 of cups
King: oo! cups! sounds lucky!
SSG: not really
King: oh?!
SSG: yeah its kind of bad actually

SSG: it means you're gonna die
King: die?!
SSG: yeah by cups
SSG: like, maybe a cup will fall on your head
SSG: or maybe you'll drown in a really really big cup
SSG: or maybe just like an animated monster cup will get you
King:
SSG: this is really more of an art than a science

Poe: ok do me next
SSG: [turning over card] ah you got the moon
SSG: tough break, man
Poe: what?
SSG: the moon is going to kill you
SSG: like a big monster moon is going to kill you
Poe: how are you getting these answers, are you doing celtic cross or something

Barker: ok do me next
SSG: [turns over card] you got the tower
SSG: a tower's gonna kill you
Barker: how's that work? did you design some kind of, like, monster tower?
SSG: yes
Barker: HOW DID YOU DESIGN A MONSTER TOWER?
SSG: well um have you ever played battle chess?

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Poe: trevor made cursed tarot cards
Shelley: oh yeah? i ain't scared, do me
SSG: [turning over card] ok this is the wheel of fortune
Shelley: what's that mean? i'm gonna get killed by a wheel of fortune or something
SSG: yeah actually

SSG: also right before it happens you might notice a lot of ambient wheel of fortune reference randomly happening right before it happens

Mary Shelley: whatever, i ain't scared of no wheel
Shelley: [flicking switchblade] some wheel tries to start shit with me, i'll give it one of these
Lovecraft: [sweats] watch where you're pointing that thing