Midnight Pals: One Joke (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: today i am going to tell
Rowling: the one joke
Allison Bailey: the joke! the one joke!
Helen Joyce: dark master is going to tell the one joke!
Jesse Singal: masterful gambit, mommy!

Rowling: Happy Birthing Parent Day to all whosse large gametes were fertilissed resulting in ssmall humanss whose ssex was asssigned by doctorss making mostly lucky guesssess
Joyce: she did it! she told the one joke!
Bailey: the absolute madwoman!!

Joyce: haha i could hear that one joke a million times -- and i have -- and it never gets any less funny!
Joyce: you should take that act on the road!
Rowling: you think?
Joyce: oh yeah definitely, people need to hear that one joke

JK Rowling: [at open mic] hello ladiesss and germsss
Rowling: i'm "Just Kidding" Rowling and thisss
Rowling: iss the anti-woke "you can't ssay that on televisssion anymore due to woke" comedy tour
Rowling: sso Rowling: are there any jewss in the audience tonight

Rowling: but ssserioussly ladiess and germss
Rowling: there'sss a lot of wokiesss out there
Rowling: and i think they might
Rowling: ssound a little like thisss
Rowling: "Happy Birthing Parent Day to all whose large gametessss..."

Rowling: "Happy Birthing Parent Day to all whose large gametess were fertilissed resulting in ssmall humanss whose ssex was asssigned by doctorss"
Ben Shapiro: SIR!!
Shapiro: SIR how dare you SIR that joke SIR is my one joke!!
Rowling: ya sssnooze ya lossse, shapiro!

Shapiro: i have a paper trail SIR going back decades proving ownership, i have told that joke SIR every year at mothers day SIR and fathers day SIR
Shapiro: which by the way SIR today is NEITHER
Shapiro: so that joke doesn't even make sense SIR
Shapiro: owned with facts and logic

Rowling: ha ha get a load of this heckler
Shapiro: SIR!!!
Rowling: kid don't tell me how to do comedy, i don't come down to the sssissster fucking factory and tell you how to do your job [rimshot]
Shapiro: SIR!!!

Shapiro: SIR!!
Rowling: look i'm not saying ben sshapiro is sshort but when he liess around the housse he really liess around the housse [rimshot]
Shapiro: SIR!!!!  
Shapiro: SIR!!!! you have the boorish manners of a yalie!

Rowling: [reading newspaper] the reviews are in!
Rowling: "rowling killss in new one joke comedy sspecial"
Rowling: "no sseat left dry asss comedy-loving public pissss their pants in ssusstained debilitating laughter"
Rowling: "you are legally mandated to enjoy it"

Rowling: "we look forward to hearing jk rowling tell her very hilariouss joke for yearss to come"
Rowling: "jk rowling is the kindesst, bravest, warmesst, mosst wonderful human being we've ever known in our life"