Dialogue Update: Pages 175 - 178 (Patreon)

Hey y'all! 🤓 

Got another storyline/dialogue update here.

Just a recap: I've been reworking certain dialogue scenes/pages/parts of the story in preparation of the print version of BKI, Volume 1. The next hole in the story that I wanted to patch was this scene in Chapter 5 where we start to learn a little about Norman's parents.

The original pages 175-178 were the second largest hole in the story and I just hated re-reading them for how forced the scene felt. It was lacking in a lot, mainly set up and development. So I decided it needed an overhaul.

The changes I will be implementing here are as follows:

- Reworded/reworked the dialogue scenes from 175, 177, & 178

- Remove page 176 (and save for a future chapter where it fits better in the story)

- Rewrite the narrative so that the focus isn't as heavy on Norman revealing everything about himself in the span of 3 pages.

SO...

With this update, I feel like the scene flows a LOT better in Chapter 5 because we still see Norman behaving in a semi-reserved fashion with Cal through their growing relationship, but we also start to get a glimpse as to what Norman's family dynamic is like outside of Gam and his housemates.

I also think the story just breathes better with this step back from the original dialogue/layout of these pages. Like I said, when I went back and re-read it the story still made sense...it just felt really forced.

Lmk what you think! Have a wonderful weekend 💕

-J

© James Schleisman August 2020 All Rights Reserved.