The Diva, Chapter 4: We'll Fix it in Postcoital (Patreon)

Chapter 4 of my 8th stuck story, The Diva:

CHAPTER 4: WE’LL FIX IT IN POSTCOITAL

Regina wiped the tears from her eyes, “oh god, now I need to go buy a Subaru.”

“-and a rescue dog,” Clementine added, lying beside Regina rubbing her soft belly.

“-and hiking boots, I fucking hate hiking though.”

“The worst lesbian,” Clementine teased.

“It’s my first day! Shit, I need to come out to my kids - I need to come out to… everyone.”

“You’ll be coming out to people your whole life, there’s no rush.”

“Do you still have to come out to people?”

“Not as often as when I first came out, but often enough, yeah.”

“That surprises me, I mean-“

“I look really gay, right?”

“So gay!”

They laughed and embraced and kissed.

Regina looked around the tiny trailer. “We’re still on set aren’t we?”

“We are.”

“You mean I’m going to have to get out of this bed and get dressed and go to hair and makeup and act after all this?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“That’s bullshit.”

Clementine laughed, she enjoyed her intimate interlude with sincere Regina but was glad that comedian Regina was back, she’d never been with someone who made her laugh so much.

“I need to wash the smell of sex off me before I go to set, it’s unprofessional. And Cordie hates how I do my, hair, she always prefers I arrive with wet hair so she can start over. You go to the toilet first though before I get jammed in the doorway or you’ll never get out of here.”

“Should I shower too? What if people smell the sex on me?”

“You’re a writer/producer now, Clem, no one’s going to see you anymore, you’ll be lucky if they let you back on set after the coup we pulled today.”

“Where do I go while you’re on set?” Clementine was suddenly worried that Regina was kicking her out and sending her home, that the fantasy bubble was popping.

“Stay here, relax, I’m joking about you not being allowed on set, I mean you don’t have to do PA crap anymore, but you’re with me, if you want to hang out on set you can, just turn in your radio.”

Clementine couldn’t really contain herself, when she heard Regina say “you’re with me,” she had to kiss her, she had to.

Regina got quiet again, kissing Clementine, like she was falling into a trance, “Jesus you’re a cute young thing, but go on, hurry up or I’m going to need to fuck you again and then I’ll be late and we don’t want to get fired just after we got promoted.”

“Okay okay okay.” Clementine hopped off the bed and into the bathroom.

As Clementine peed she mentally measured the bathroom, thinking about the booth Regina got wedged in and the bedroom door Clementine had to push her through. The bathroom was as if an enclosed shower was crammed into an airplane restroom. She wasn’t sure Regina could fit in the bathroom, she wasn’t sure she could get through the smaller bathroom door, and the shower beside her was even smaller, an Alice in Wonderland of increasingly smaller doorways and spaces.

She didn’t know Regina’s weight, or measurements, but if Clementine had to guess, she might say Regina was about three times her size. She tried to imagine three of herself in this bathroom, but she had trouble even imagining two.

She felt like she should warn Regina, but what could she say that wouldn’t burst this incredible bubble she was in right now? There was no way to tactfully tell her childhood crush that she was too fat to fit in a bathroom.

But surely Regina knows when she can fit into a space, right?

She did get stuck in the booth earlier, so she didn’t gauge that space accurately.

Who was skinny Clementine to tell Regina how to navigate the world with her own fat body. She’s been the size she is for almost as many years as Clementine’s been alive, surely she would have some sense of where she can and cannot fit.

Surely.

Before leaving the bathroom curiosity compelled Clementine to step into the shower stall. She ran her hands along the four walls and measured the door, Clementine could suddenly hear her heart pounding in her chest, there was no way Regina could fit in here, and she DESPERATELY wanted to watch her try.

Clementine shook the inappropriate thoughts from her head and came out of the bathroom to find Regina scooted towards the end of the bed, one foot on the floor, because her two fat legs wouldn’t fit side by side in the bedroom door at the edge of the bed, her arms out waving Clementine over with a laugh “it’s a two person job to get me up and outta here.”

Clementine couldn’t contain her smile and hope Regina wouldn’t notice her blushing.

She took Regina’s hands and braced one foot agains the adjacent bathroom door jam as she leaned her meager bodyweight back for leverage.

Regina bounced with great exertion, trying to simultaneously lift herself up and turn herself to get off the bed and through the narrow doorway at the edge of the bed, she didn’t mean to let out such audible “hhhnnnngghh” ’s but for a very fat 45 year old it’s difficult to exert oneself quietly.

With luck she was able to get her other leg underneath herself and push off the bed, with a strong lurch and a “OOOMMPH” she was upright!

And wedged.

Regina was twisted sideways or three quarters, one leg on the ground, the other still extended on the bed, both arms splayed to Clementine.

Clementine let go of Regina’s hands and put her arms around Regina’s neck and rested Regina’s head on her breast, petting her.

She listened to Regina’s huffing and puffing and laughing, “are you sure this is how you wanna spend your twenties? Trying to unstuck an old fat lady from a doorway?”

Squashing Regina’s fat cheeks in her hands, Clementine lifted Regina’s face up to hers and kissed her deeply, “my twenties,” KISS “my thirties,” KISS “my whole life.”

“Hahaha, I’d say ‘where have you been all my life’ but as young as you are I don’t want to know where you’ve been before now, or I might turn to dust.”

“Masturbating to weight gain tabloids of you,” Clementine thought to herself but dare not admit to Regina at this particular moment.

“If I thought I needed a shower to clean the sex glow off I definitely need one now, I’m sweating like a pig.”

Before, if Clementine had ever heard one of her fat ex-girlfriends refer to themselves as a pig, Clementine would jump in too enthusiastically to defend or deflect, but there was a nonchalant way in which Regina referred to herself that wasn’t self deprecating or even negative really. Clementine hadn’t dated someone in their forties before, she chalked it up to running out of fucks to give.

“There’s still two more doorways between you and the shower after we get you out of this one.”

“Fuck me, we better get a move on then!”

Holding onto the bathroom doorway, Regina pushed with her back leg and thrust herself forward while Clementine tried to navigate her belly and butt around the corner.

There was a brief moment of relieve when Regina was right in the middle of the “hall,” her belly protruding into the bedroom, her hip protruding into the bathroom and her ass protruding into the dining area.

“Does the shower have a removable shower head? Yank it out here and just hose me down.”

“Not that type of shower I’m afraid.”

“I know, I’m never that lucky.”

“You’re doing great.”

Regina laughed at Clementine’s encouragement, “ha! I’m over 350 pounds trying to choose from door number one, door number two and door number three, none of which I can fit through!”

She emphasized her predicament by rocking her body in a circle, smooshing her belly into the bedroom door, her hip into the bathroom door and her ass into the entrance to the dining area, she was stuck in three doorways simultaneously.

Clementine couldn’t contain her gleeful giggle as she squeezed her arms between Regina’s fat rolls to hug her around her belly from behind and nibble her neck, making Regina squeak!

“You’re enjoying this too much!” Regina was speaking to herself as much as Clementine. Regina never thought she’d encounter this many obstacles due to her fatness all at once and still be having fun, still horny. Her head was spinning, was she in love? Was she a vampire extracting youth from this young ingénue? She forgot she was on a film set, she forgot that she’d be in hair and makeup soon and on set after that. She was content in this absurdly tiny space with this absurdly tiny young woman.

“I’ve still got a job to do today, let’s put aside the biting and get on with the heaving and the ho-ing,” Regina propelled herself into the bathroom door, not getting very far, she could barley get her thigh in and couldn’t even begin to get her ass and belly in.

But her heave forward gave Clementine enough of an opening to squeeze into the hall beside her and push.

“Maybe- UNGH- instead of a- HUFF- producer’s credit- OOOF- I should have negotiated a- HUFF-bigger- HUFF- trailer!”

Clementine lifted her legs onto the trailer wall and pushed off the wall into Regina’s softness.

Unlike the bedroom door which opened up to a wider space, the bathroom was just as narrow as its door. So Regina didn’t pop-through, so much as lurch suddenly before becoming equally jammed between the bathroom wall and the bathroom sink.

Being shorter than Clementine, Regina’s widest point around her hips, butt and belly lined up perfectly with the sink counter.

Regina leaned forward onto the sink out of breath. Clementine leaned against the door frame, stroking Regina’s hip, still poking out into the hall. Regina thought Clementine looked like a space pirate smuggler, which would have made her the space princess. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, naked and sweating and wedged behind the counter brought on uncontrollable giggles.

“What’s so funny,” not that Clementine minded watching Regina jiggle.

“I’m facing the wrong way!” Regina attempted unsuccessfully to turn herself around to sit on the toilet. She lifted her great belly up onto the sink and braced her hands against the narrow bathroom walls to twist her hips out from behind the counter, collapsing onto the toilet in a heap.

Her fat knees against the wall in front of her, her shelf butt against the wall behind, her belly spread out on her lap reached the wall, Regina flopped a fat arm onto the sink and sighed there. Clementine wanted to pounce into the bathroom and fuck her all over again.

“We did it! Yaaaaayyy…” Regina waved an imaginary flag, “as intimate as we’ve become in these few hours, I’m not sure if I’m ready to pee in front of you.”

Clementine jumped around and out into the kitchen of the trailer, “oh god sorry! Of course!” Flustered she gathered her clothes and began getting dressed.

Regina took in her cramped surroundings as she peed, giving a side eyed glance to the tiny shower door beside her, she wasn’t even sure she had enough room to stand up off the toilet never mind get into the shower, “Clem! I know you’re not my PA anymore, but I’m asking you this as a favor to your lover, but could you see if craft services has put out lunch yet? All this sex and squeezing has left me feeling a bit peckish!”

Clementine smiled as she buttoned her shirt, “of course, my peckish lover.”

Regina blushed.

“Do you need help getting into the shower before I go?” Clementine didn’t want to be greedy but prayed for a yes.

“I think I can manage” Regina lied as she mentally measured her vastness wedged in the bathroom against the even smaller shower.

“Okay, be right back.”

Regina waited until she heard Clementine leave before giving the once over to the shower door, “here we go.”