Son for Hire Chapter 29 (Patreon)

I am down at the hospital as fast a cab could get me there.  Frazzled and frantic I latch on to the first nurse I see to ask about Kiki.  He gives me a stern look and directs me to the desk.  It wasn’t even 4 am yet but the place is packed and bustling with doctors, nurses, security, and a motley crew of society’s underbelly.  I have to squint against the bright pale light which made everybody in this shabby and faded old emergency room look cadaverous, sick and healthy alike.  The vulgar aromas of puss, piss and puke linger just beneath the thick veneer of harsh antiseptic.  The crowded waiting area is a cacophany of grumbles, swears, and suffering groans as all waited for their turn under a doctor’s care.  It is all in the background though as I am lost in a world of fear and grief, beside myself with worry as I wait in line.

God, please.  Please let Kiki be okay.  Please!

At last I get my turn.  They take some information and I am guided to my sister.  Beds line both sides of the long room I am taken to with nothing but flimsy curtains separating the stalls.  As I approach the one with Kiki I am intercepted by a nurse who peppers me with probing questions about Kiki.  What drugs does she take?  How often?  Does she have a family doctor?  Has she seemed depressed or suicidal recently?  I answer each of these and more in turn as best I can though my eyes rarely leave the curtain.  I needed so badly to see Kiki.  To see with my own eyes that she was alive.  The busy nurse though has no time for my feelings and forges through the checklist of questions with rapid efficiency and then after the questions the nurse rattles off some basic information which I try my best to make mental note of.  I could tell that to her Kiki was just another destitute junkie taking up a valuable bed.

Looking over her chart the nurse says.  “When she wakes up you can probably take her home.  Just let the attending nurse know when she wakes.”

“Oh.  A doctor won’t need to…check on anything?”

Not even hearing my question the nurse hangs the clipboard back up.  “Your sister is a lucky woman.”  And with that she hurries on past me to attend to her task.

I stand a moment to prepare myself then hurry in through the part in the screen.

In a blue hospital gown my sister lay asleep.  A wave of relief floods through me as I watch her chest slowly rise and fall.  She was partially propped up and the thin sheet and blanket they had over her only came up to her stomach.  I close the curtain behind me and slowly walk up beside her.  Her flesh was sunken and ashen.  Her slender body looking so tiny and fragile under the sterile white lights.  And yet there was also a look of peace.  Her rich curly brown hair radiates out from her head like a halo.  Those people out there couldn’t see her like I could.  She wasn’t just another junkie.  She was special.  

I push the bedside tray aside to give me room, on it lay a few glossy pamphlets on addiction and suicide.  Careful not to jostle the IV needle or tube I pull the blankets up to her shoulders and tuck her in to keep her warm.  I touch her cheek with the back of my fingers and at last allow myself to accept that she was alive and out of immediate danger.  I stroke her cheek and gently swipe a curly lock from her forehead.  Beyond the cloth walls are the beeps and hisses of medical equipment, the wails and moans of people suffering, and the general din of a busy hospital emergency ward.  But in here it was just her and I.

“I’m here.”  I whisper.  “You and me big sister.  Just like always.”

And there I stay.  Watching over her and just being a loving presence.  I knew this wasn’t my fault and yet there is a niggling sense of responsibility as well.  I had given her the money after all knowing damn well what she was going to do with it.  That wouldn’t happen again so easily.  With each minute that passed looking down on her resting for I could sense a passing of a torch happening.  Kiki had been strong enough for long enough.  Now it was my turn.

Even a week ago I wouldn’t have been able to think that, I likely would have been a panicked blubbering mess, but something had changed.  That change was Evelyn.  From the outside our kinky sex life would be frowned upon but I knew in my heart it went so much deeper than that.  Without her holding me today, nursing me, singing me to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t have the emotional resilience to be dealing with this right now.  Somehow, without realizing it at the time, Mom’s gentle care had allowed for the man to be brought out of me now that the chips were down.

I stay close to Kiki.  Stood right at her side.  I hold her hand and talk to her as if she could hear me, reminiscing about old times and even cracking a few inside jokes between us.  Only once does a nurse bother to come check on her and ends with another reminder that I could probably take her home soon after she woke up.  They wanted to wash their hands of us as soon as possible.

It is almost 7 when my sister finally stirs.  She groans and moves her head from side to side before struggling to open her eyes.  She stares at the ceiling for a few seconds as her wits are slow to gather.  Confusedly she looks left to the IV and around at her surroundings before turning right to look at me.

“Donny?”  She croaks in a raspy voice.  “What…?”  She blinks as her face contorts with feeble concentration as she tries to remember how she got here.

“Hey Sis.”  I say softly.  I bring the glass of water that had been left on the tray for her and offer it to her.  She takes it gratefully and sips a couple of times before handing it back again.

She watches me set the glass down, emotional distress twisting her pretty features, then looks away from me holding back tears.  Humbled and humiliated at her weakness Kiki couldn’t bear to look at me.

“They’ve given you drugs to counteract the junk inside you.”  I inform her as I hold her hand tightly.  “You need to talk to a nurse or a doctor but I can take you home soon.”

She nods but does not look my way.  We’d been through some shit but this was her at her very lowest moment.  Having me here to witness must have felt both a blessing and a curse to my proud sister.

“You were found on the sidewalk.”  I say.  “Somebody just dumped you there and left you.”

Again she nods with a wince of inner pain.

“I could have lost you Kiki.”  I whisper, letting just a touch of my anger mix in with the compassion.

Her shame overwhelming her she tries to pull her hand away but I hold it firm.

“You need to get off this stuff Kiki.  You need to!  You’re going down the same road as Mom.”  I kiss her hand and hold it to my heart.  “I won’t let it beat you.  I need you Sis!  I need you here.”

She is quiet a long time before speaking.  “Donny.”  She shudders, a far away look in her eyes.  “You go.  You get out with that nice Sugar Mamma…you go and don’t ever look back.  Okay?”

“Not without you.”

“I’ll ruin…”

“Not without you.”  I say again more firmly.  “I’ve already spoken to Evelyn.”

Closing her eyes she tries to summon the will to resist but this time she cannot argue.  Even her stubbornness couldn’t deny that she needed help.  She finally looks back to me, tears held back but glimmering in her deep brown eyes.  She looks up with a raw vulnerability I’d never seen in her before.  “I guess I’m not as strong as you thought, eh kid?”

I smile, a smile of pure wholesome brotherly love.  Leaning in I pull her into a gentle embrace.  “You are my hero Kiki and you always will be.”

Kiki slips an arm around me and clings to me as tight as her frail arm could.

Chapter 30