Oh Brother!: Part 4 (Gay) (Patreon)

Who knew one little hug could cause such a fuss.  Of all of the things Beau and I had done it was a simple hug that spoiled the mood.  Heavens knows why.  I curse the guy as I clean up the mess we made and shut Cassie’s computer down so she didn’t know we’d been snooping around on it.  The jerking off together and the fleshlight thing had been his idea and yet I was left with all of the tidying up.  What a jerk.  Once everything was disposed of or put away I try to put the whole thing out of my mind.  

Yeah right!  It was all I could fucking think about.  The mutual masturbation had been fun but it was the other stuff that kept popping into my mind.  The banter, the laughter, and most of all the way he clung to me as I held him close during his climax.  He said he didn’t “do” hugs but he sure as hell seemed to need that one.  I had been through some shitty times and I knew the value of a good hug.  But to each their own.

It was the weirdest thing.  I was insanely physically attracted to the guy but I also knew continuing to give into that was a road to nowhere.  I was straight and he was gay, it was a non-starter and a recipe for guaranteed heartbreak.  But I also really liked him.  I barely knew him and most of our time together had involved some sort of sexual act, yet I really enjoyed having him around.  I liked that he broke rules and was rude.  I liked that he was a trouble-maker.  I liked hearing his laugh when I said something dumb and seeing that evil look in his eyes when he was up to no good.  I liked sparring with him.  I liked how direct he was.  He just made things so much more interesting.  If he was a girl I would have wanted to be with him.  But he was a guy so I would have to settle for the next best thing, being his friend.  I’d never gone out of my way to make a friend before, they generally just happened organically with me as I was pretty easy to get along with, but Beau and I were off to a good start so I was optimistic.

I have a hell of a time sleeping that night as the memories of Beau’s lovely lusty feminine sighs echo in my mind.  I end up fapping twice more that night, being sure to watch my regular type of porn just to make sure I still liked it.  I did.  Once I even use the fleshlight and, even though I know I had to be imagining it, I actually swear it is looser.  The next day at work is rough.  I am tired and distracted and just generally make a mess of things.  I soldier through it though, as I always do.

As I enter the apartment after work I was happy to hear Cassie was home.  I had been meaning to her brother’s number.  I turn the corner into the living room to see her on her computer.  She spins around in her chair with a huge smile on her face.

“What in the hell happened between you and Beau?”

“Huh?  Well, we, uh…”  I stammer.  “Why?  What have you heard?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so angry.  And that’s saying something for him.”

“Angry?”

“Oh yeah.  He doesn’t like me.”  She says.  “But he REALLY hates you!”  

“He hates me?”  My heart drops.  “He said that?”

“Yep.”  She laughs.  “I don’t know what you did or said, but…thanks!  We won’t be seeing him around here for a while.”

“We won’t?”

“Nope.”  She says.  “He said as long as you were my roommate I wouldn’t see him around here anymore.  Hallelujah!  Ha ha ha!”

I felt awful hearing that!  “Cassie, he’s your brother.”

“He’s an asshole.”  She says.  “So tell me, what did you say to him?  Must have been pretty bad, you bad boy.”

“I’m not a bad boy.”

“Well what was it?”

“I…I didn’t say anything.”  I say.  “I don’t even know what this is about.”

“I’m not surprised.  I told you he was a flake.”  She says, spinning back to face the screen.  “I’ll let him stew until Thanksgiving then find out what got his panties in a bunch.  In the meantime…no more Beau.  Ahhhhh.  It’s a dream come true!”

“Thanksgiving?”  That was still months away.  “Hey, can I get his number?  I’ll see if I can smooth this over.”

“No way.”  She says.  “You are my brother repellent and I want to keep it that way.  At least for awhile.  He is so rude and…weird.”

“You shouldn’t talk about him like that.  You’re family.”

“I know, I know.”  She says.  “It’s terrible.  But…you don’t know him like I do.”

“I guess not.”

Now THAT stuck in my gut.  Hate.  That was a big word.  He hated me?  If we couldn’t be friends fair enough, but I could not rest easy with the idea that somebody out there actively hated me.  Especially Beau.  I had to talk to him face to face and clear this up.  I change into jeans and a t shirt then wait until Cassie was in the shower and pop onto her computer.  As Beau mentioned she had done nothing to secure or hide anything.  I find Beau’s number, email address, and actual address and put them into my phone then grab my battered old denim jacket and head for the door.

He lived close by so I walk the ten minutes to find an old brick three story building with big steps leading up to the front door.  I bound the steps and buzz his suite.  No answer.  I try again but get the same result.  The main door was locked.

“Shit.”  I walk back down the steps and look up at the building, trying to guess which apartment was his.  Well, if he was out he’d have to come home sometime.  I walk down the street to a cafe I’d seen and get myself a coffee and a bit to eat then head back to hang out in front his building.  I eat my food and sip my drink and continually ask myself what in the hell I was doing here.  Going home never enters my mind however.  I needed to settle this to put my mind at ease.

After about half an hour I notice two impeccably groomed men coming down the sidewalk.  They were walking close together, clearly a couple.  They give me a quick sneering glance before heading up the stairs of the building.  Taking a shot in the dark I step forward.

“Hey, are you friends of Beau?  The Beau that lives in this building.”

They stop on the stairs and turn to face me.  They look at me then look at each other then look at me again.  They look me all the way up and down and are clearly unimpressed.  There was a look of jaded understanding in their faces, as if they’d been asked this exact question many times before.

“Are you?”  One of them asks dubiously.

“Not yet.”  I confess.  “But you do know him?  You’re friends?”

“Honey, we’re his best friends.”

“And YOU are wasting your time here baby.”  The other laughs then turns to their partner.  “Another lost soul captured by his pretty face.  Tragic.”

Honey?  Baby?  Folks sure were friendly in this neighborhood.  “Yeah.  Well, you see…”

“Give it up baby.  Look at the state of you.  Unshaven, that raggedy ass jacket, a dad bod at your age?  You have no chance.”

No chance they say, little did they know I’d already been with him.

“And is that your car?”

I peek behind me to the vehicle he pointed at.  “Oh, no.  I don’t have a car actually.  I walked here.”

“Ohhhh!”  They both laugh.  “No car means no money.  Forget it baby.  You’re done out here.”

“Our man Beau thinks he is the Queen of the Nile.”

“More like Queen of denial.”  The other quips and the pair laugh.  “The boy thinks he’s hot shit.”

These were his friends?

“Go home.  Forget his pretty face.  Save yourself the trouble.”  I go to say something but the pair were already walking up the stairs and didn’t look likely to stop again.

I settle back how I was and keep my eye out for Beau.  As I wait I slowly become cognizant of how weird and creepy this was.  I was like some crazy stalker.  But I didn’t see any alternative.  I could call him of course but that wasn’t my way.  I dealt best with folks in person.  Besides, what else did I really have to do tonight?  And I knew I wouldn’t sleep well until this was settled anyway.

Wanting to rest my feet I eventually move down the block a bit to an old bench that sat against the side of a building.  I could clearly the entrance to Beau’s building from there so I knew I wouldn’t miss him.  On the bench I sit and watch the people go by.  It was a lovely summer evening.  The breeze was warm, I could smell delicious curry cooking from the open apartment window above my head, and I could just hear the live jazz band playing at the cafe.  This was actually kind of nice.  I rest back and stretch my legs out, happily taking in the atmosphere.  I just wished I wasn’t so tired.  The coffee helped but…

“Snnrt!”  I snort and startle awake at the prodding of somebody kicking my foot.  I blink my eyes to see it is suddenly dark out.  Looking up I see Beau standing in front of me.  He had on sandals, white shorts, a pink tank top, and a loose light jacket.  With the jacket covering his torso he looked more feminine than ever, at a glance nobody would guess him to be a guy automatically.  Over his shoulder is a gym bag.  He steps back, putting a noticeable distance between us.  It was strange seeing him out here in the real world.  In the soft dim light coming down from the window above me he looked amazing, like an angel.  A sexy angel.  But…he always looked amazing.

“What are you doing here straight boy?”  His voice is as cold as ice.

I sit up and rub my face.  “I wanted to see you.”

He sighs, disappointedly.  “You want another blowjob or something I suppose.”

“No, no.  Nothing like that.  Quite the opposite.”

“The opposite?”  He shakes his head.  “Whatever.  I don’t want to talk to you Ethan.  I don’t want to see you.  We had our fun.  It’s done.”  He goes to walk away.

“Now hold on.”  I say.  “I waited here a long time to see you.  At least listen.”

He pauses.  “You have been here awhile.  People thought you were homeless.”  His eyes glance down toward my used coffee cup that sat on the sidewalk by the leg of the bench.

“Huh?”  I look down to see it had a bunch of change in it and even a fiver!  “Sweet!”  I say as I pick it up and start digging through it with my fingers.  “There must be close to ten bucks in here!  Ha ha!”

Beau bites his lips and looks up and away as he seems to be holding back a laugh despite his serious expression.  Looking off into the sky for a moment to collect himself he then mutters.  “You are such an idiot.”

“An idiot who is ten dollars richer.”  I say as I collect the cash and stuff it into my pocket.

He shakes his head.  “What do you want Ethan?”

“I just wanted to make things cool between us.”  I say as I shift to the side to give him room on the bench.  “It’s not right, you not seeing your sister because of me.”

“Pff!  I doubt she complained too hard.”

“Yeah, well.”  I sigh.  “I just…I don’t want you to hate me, okay?  I don’t like people hating me.  I don’t know what I did wrong but I know I don’t deserve that.”

“Yeah.”  He says in a quiet voice.  “Yeah.  You don’t deserve that.”  He looks at me for a time.  “I don’t hate you, okay?  Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“I guess.”  I shrug then let a long breath.  “Hahhh, I suck at this stuff.”

“This is all my fault.  You didn’t do anything wrong.”  He says.  “Sorry I decided to mess with you.  It was only a bit of fun.  I’m a moody bitch Ethan, just ignore me.”  He goes to walk away again.  “Just forget me.”

“Hold on.”  I say.  “Um, fuck, I don’t even know what to say.  Do you wanna do something?  Go grab a bite to eat or something?”

“No.”  He stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks left and right.  “I can’t be seen with you.”

“Oh.”  I say.  “You, like, have a reputation or something?”

“Something like that.”

“Okay.”

He was so serious.  Where were his smiles?  Where was his laughter?  Where was that unmistakable giggle?  Where was that impish look in his eyes?  Beau was like a different person out here in the real world.

“Listen, if you want to fool around again maybe we can…”

“No, no, no.”  I wave my hands.  “No!  I don’t think we should do that anymore.”

“You don’t?”

“No.”  I bring my hands to my lap and rub them together.  “I think it’s the sex that is making everything…funny.  I just want you and I to be cool, that’s all.”

“You don’t want sex?”  He seemed perplexed by that.

“Not if it means missing out on being friends.”  I sigh.  “God this is so awkward.  Listen, I like you Beau.  I don’t know why but I just think you’re cool, ya know?  You’re like…the cool little brother I never had or something.  I dunno.”  I shake my head.  “Jesus, this sounds even stupider out loud.”

There is a long quiet moment as Beau stands there, hands in pocket, looking down at me.  A group of pedestrians pass between us and a few cars drive by.  At long last he speaks.

“You look like shit.”

“Yeah.”  I rub my stubbly chin.  “It’s been a long day.  I didn’t sleep well and work was a drag.  I hate my job.  It fucking suuuuucks dude!  I work at one of those call centers taking calls from angry people with complaints all day, everyday.  It’s just so much negativity.  It’s tough some days, ya know?”  I laugh.  “Even for me, and I’ve got a pretty thick skin.”

“That does suck.  Why do you do it?”

“It pays the bills.”  I straighten up and reach into the breast pocket.  “Besides, I won’t be there forever.”  I pull a crinkled printed out photo from my pocket.  “I’m saving up for this.”  I hold it out to him.

He hesitates, then steps forward to take it from me.  He looks at it and starts to shake his head and lets out a contained laugh.  I smile when I hear him laugh.  

“Not bad, huh?”

“Is this what I think it is?”  He chuckles despite himself.

“A hot dog cart.  Yeah it is.  Isn’t she a beut?”

He laughs a bit harder and covers his eyes.  “A fucking hot dog cart.  Ha ha ha!”

“That’s the exact model I want.”  I point at the picture.  “But I want to build a full canopy on it, not just the umbrella.”

“Umbrella?  Ha ha ha ha!  Look at this thing.  A fucking hot dog cart?  Ha ha ha!  Ethan the hot dog man!”

“Yeah.  Check it out. It’s got the steam trays AND a grill AND a built in cooler for storing the extra condiments.  It’s got everything.  I’ll have a separate cooler for drinks, obviously.”  His laughs fade a little as he looks up at me with a curious look.  I go on.  “That bread box holds almost 200 hundred buns!  Can you believe that?  Not footlong buns obviously, but I’m not going to do those.”

He looks back at the picture then back at me again, he wasn’t laughing anymore.  “You’re actually serious.”

“Heck yeah!  There’s good money in slinging dogs.”  I say with the same enthusiasm I always got when talking about my goals.  “I know this butcher who makes this special Polish sausage.  He said if I get up and running he’d supply me.  Gonna cost a bit extra but they’re so good.  People are going to be talking about my dogs.”

Beau looks left and right again then slowly comes to sit on the opposite side of the bench.

“That butcher’s wife makes this old school sauerkraut.  I’m talking gourmet level stuff.  I’m thinking that would be a bit extra, but once folks try it they’ll order it every time.  I want to have the best toppings, really set myself apart from the crowd, ya know?”  I say.  “Sometimes I scope out new locations or walk along routes I think are under served.  I want to be ready for when the day comes.”  I shift a bit closer, while still leaving him his space, and point at the picture.  “There’s a tow bar under there so I can hitch it to a car or even a motor bike.  I could take her anywhere.  Of course I have to save up for a vehicle too.”

“How much is this thing?”

“That one is over four thousand bucks but I might be able to find one used.”

“Four grand!”

“I’ve got two and half saved up already.”  I say.  “That’s just the cart though.  The vehicle, the supplies, storage, and most important…the location!  It all costs.  I’d love to get near the zoo but those are prime spots.”

“You’ve really thought about this.”

“Of course I have. It’s my dream.  Well, step one of my dream.  I want to get a food truck eventually.”

He gives the photo one last long look then passes it back to me.  I expect his usual sarcasm but instead he just says softly.  “That’s…a really nice dream Ethan.”

“Thank you!”  I grin.  “What about you?  What do you do for work?”

“I hate my job too.”  He says in a low voice.  “I work at a gym.”  He shows me his gym bag.  “I run yoga classes for the wine mom crowd, along with selling all this bullshit that goes with it.  Sometimes I work the front desk too.  I’m not even good at it.  I hate it so much.  I wish I could quit.”  

“I hear that man.  What are you working toward?”

“I don’t fucking know.”  He looks to the picture in my hands.  “I don’t have a dream Ethan.  I’m just…sleepwalking through life.  Isn’t that terrible?”

“Nah, most of the people I know don’t have their shit figured out.”

He sighs.  “Yeah.”

I put the picture back in my pocket.  “You’ll figure out something.  You’ll see.  You’re a smart guy.”

He leans back and looks up into the sky. I do the same and see the orange glow of the city reflecting back on the clouds.  “I always thought I’d get by on my looks.”  He laughs, he laughs at himself, humorlessly though.  “I’m turning twenty five next week!  That’s like middle age for a twink, fuckin near retirement age for a femboy.  What the fuck do I have to show for it?  What the fuck am I even doing?”  He shakes his head.  “And why the fuck am I telling you any of this?”

“I’m a good listener.”  I say.  “Hey, it’s your birthday soon?  Do you want to do something?”

“I’ve already got plans.”

“Oh, of course you do.  Like a party or date or something.”

“Something.”  He says.  “You’re a odd guy Ethan.  You’re way too nice for your own good.”  He sits up straight again and so do I.

“I’ve heard some people actually like nice guys.”

“So they say.”  He says, a flicker of the Beau that I knew in his pretty blue eyes.  “I did forget my glasses at your place.”

“You have to come get them at some point.”  I say, hope rising.

“Ha.”  Reaching over he slaps my knee.  “We’re cool.  We’re all good.  I won’t stay away.”  He pauses a moment then says hesitantly.  “Thanks…thanks for not giving up on me Ethan.”

“Of course!  So, we can be friends?”

“Friends without benefits?”  He winks.  “It’s so crazy it might just work.”

“There ya go!”

“Besides, I can’t let my sister get rid of me that easily.”  He giggles.  It felt so good to see him opening up a little.  “Soooo, I’m the little brother you never had huh?”

“Oh no.”  I already knew where this was going.  “That’s not how I meant…”

“You jerked your little brother off!?”  He says way too loudly.  “Ugh!”

“Dude, shhh!”

“You let your little brother suck your dick!?”

“Shut up!  Oh my God!”

“Fuck!  That is so gross dude!  Is that what you were thinking about you sick bastard?”

“NO!  Ahhh!  I’m not listening!”

“And you fucked your little brother in the ass!”  He exclaims.  “Bareback no less!  Just fucking raw dogged your baby bro right in the fucking bathroom?”

“Shut up!  Shut up!  Shut up!”

“Fuckin nasty dude.”  He laughs.  “Naaaasty!”

“Shuuuut uuuup!”

“Also.”  He says in a lower voice.  “I think you gotta get your eyes checked if you think I’m the little brother, pee wee.  Ha!”

“True, true.  As of next week you will be my elder.”  I shoot right back.  “Old man.”

“Asshole.”  He punches me in the shoulder as he gets up off of the bench.  “I’ll see you around loser.”

I grin.  “See you around Beau.”

Shouldering his gym bag Beau takes off jogging down the street toward his apartment.  As I get up to walk the opposite way I notice a couple looking at me with expressions of shock and disgust.

“Uhhh, I never actually did any of that with my little brother.  I don’t even have a little brother.”  They hurry away from me as fast as they could as I call after them.  “It’s not what you think!”

Part 5