Summer Grump (Patreon)

(contains slice of life troubles in mid-fox TF)

Commission for PaulRevere, who also wrote the epilogue

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TSSSUUUUUUUU!

BOOM!

YIP!

A sharp whistle and a bang. Nothing like the sounds of impending death to serve as the perfect alarm clock. Luckily it wasn’t actual cannon fire or some kind of destructive spell. The local townspeople and their spawns of hell simply felt a need to set off miniature explosives every five minutes.

Once her heart stopped trying to beat out of her ribcage, Karen begrudgingly sat up to assess how bad the coming day would be. The act alone caused a lot more grunting and curses than for a normal person. Damn hips were already putting up a fight, aching at having to bend in ways that would have been perfectly natural hours ago. That’s too bad for them, because Karen refused her body to assume anything but a human posture so long as her joints could still bend that way.

Accomplishing that small victory caused the woman’s fluffy tail to wag against her pillow. Seeing it had grown over a foot longer and gained ample amounts of red fur killed whatever joy Karen had left. She left out a few more curses while running a furry hand over her face. That also jutted out considerably longer into the kings of a sharp muzzle. Feeling the top of her head found only a small bundle of the brain hairs that used to completely cover it down to her shoulders. Contact with the enormous triangle ears there made them instinctively twitch and fold with her sour mood.

Karen’s blackened nose wiggled with a snort as she pulled the hand back to examine it. There was still a thumb with flexibility to it, but the extremity still more resembled an animal’s paw. Fingers barely had enough joints to make a fist, with all the thick brown pads swelling out the tips and palm. Blunt, useless claws were only going to make it harder to work with tools as the day wore on.

She was turning into a fox. No complex way to explain Karen’s problem than that. Ever since that dreaded night in the tavern on Sunday she had been finding her body getting smaller, furrier, and a lot less human. It was a slow burn too that just made working for a cure all the more frustrating.

If anyone bothered to ask Karen that poker game had been rigged. She was all set to win the pot with a full house and that smug, stupid mage had to pull a straight on her. And of course he wasn’t about to forgive she didn’t actually have all the money to pay out either. A quick bit of magic was all it took to reactivate her formerly dormant vulpine curse.

When Karen pointed out the wisdom in her inability to square a debt stuck on all fours, the mage simply laughed and said the entertainment would be payment enough. That guy was getting punched when she was restored to full strength again.

On that note, best to not sit in bed letting the last bits of humanity slip away.

BANG!

“Mother blasted scum sucking…” Karen rolled back and forth across her pillow, hugging her big vulpine ears like it could shield their sensitive drums.

Today was the kingdom’s sixth anniversary of the king’s crowning. He was secretly a real douchebag and the reason Karen quit knighthood for mercenary work. Shame the rest of the kingdom was mostly fine with his rule. To mark the occasion, he paid every alchemist in existence to produce little things called fireworks for every settlement across the land.

They were meant to be pretty and exciting. To a transforming vixen they were annoying and dangerous. Once the last bits of pained ringing left Karen’s ears, she sighed and rolled off the bed.

THUD!!

Looked like she had gotten a lot shorter than last night, too. A simple drop turned into a hard fall that left her rolling around the floor, cursing for several more minutes. It was a miracle her head didn’t split open landing on such a hardwood floor. These damn inns need to invest in rugs.

A gentle rapping on the door broke Karen from her grumpy fit. By inn rules there wasn’t a lock, so the handle lifted for it to open a small crack. Just enough for a bar wench to poke her otter snout in curiously. They needed a moment to find the tiny fox person sprawled on the floor.

“Everything’s alright in here, madam?”

“Could be better, Pearl. Are the baths still hot?”

The servant girl wiggled her whiskers with a giggle. “Yes, miss. I’m sure our regulars can find room to squeeze you in.”

“Don’t make me kick you,” Karen fumed, but the door had already closed. “Curses would be a lot more bearable if people took them seriously.”

Letting out a sigh, she rolled onto all fours and needed three tries to get back on two feet. Karen ignored the underwear that slid off her scrawny body, letting it remain where it fell in an awkward waddle to her footlocker. It was not like she had enough curves left for such garments right now.

From the trunk now almost big enough for her to hide in, Karen produced a small shirt and shorts. They were a purchase from a tailor yesterday, who really thought his ‘big ears’ jokes were amusing. A set designed for a child of eight years, Karen was bemused to find they still draped over her mostly fox self like tents. She required a hole roughly cut in the back for her tail and a rope knot belt to keep the pants hanging from what little waist remained.

After securing a money pouch and kitchen knife to said rope belt, she felt almost capable of taking on this bothersome Friday. Shrinking down to a normal fox size had left her usual swords and daggers virtually unusable, so she settled on anything for a weapon, if only to have some security of mind. Whether she could wield it when needed would be an issue to deal with if the time came.

Karen had to jump to work the latch her otter maid had handled so easily before, but eventually got the door to swing open. Boots were left under the bed for a third day in a row. Having paws didn’t make them necessary, especially with the tension in Karen’s heels trying to force her onto tip-toe with each step.

“Morning, Karen,” a rounded balding man said before she even stepped into the cleaning rooms. Even with a shower glistening off his skin Karen’s increased sense of smell picked up too much tobacco on him. “You look different today. Did you have a growth spurt overnight?”

A few other tavern regulars chuckled from their stalls. Some were taking showers, while most occupied themselves with cheaper sponge baths. For Karen, the wench had arranged a water trough meant for animals as a pint-sized bathtub.

“I’ll destroy all of you,” she grumbled while striping for her warm water dip.

Such threats coming from a tiny creature with a high-pitched voice only incited harder laughs. A barbarian woman had poked her head out from behind a stall curtain to shoot Karen a challenging wink and flex before returning to her cleaning. This is why the changing fox hated unisex commons.

Of course, having fur and shoulders that were increasingly harder to rotate made even bathing a prolonged chore. Thankfully, this inn offered sponges on sticks for back scrubbing. That allowed her tiny paw hands enough reach to really get at her feet and lower back. Now if only fur didn’t feel like being wrapped in fifty pounds of steel when wet. It took eight silver pieces worth of towel rentals to finally dry out. Hell would freeze over before she shook off like an animal in front of a cackling peasant audience.

“You know a fox cleaning at the riverside would be a lot less conspicuous.” The innkeeper kept his eyes on Karen’s money as it was shoved over the counter. “Also a good tip if you need some for tomorrow.”

“I’m paid until money and you know it,” Karen snapped back in a display of sharp teeth. Even at a size that needed a stool to reach the counter she could make a mean growl.

“That doesn’t make you exempt from our ‘no animals’ policy.”

Karen stared down the dark man’s smug grin for several seconds. Realizing her angry temperament wouldn’t gain any diplomacy points, she hopped off the stool for the door. There were places to be while she still had a working voice. “Don’t you dare try stealing my stuff.”

The door swung open before Karen got halfway there. She gave off a meek yip, taking a dive to avoid the massive boots of two grizzly bear adventures that came stomping inside. Both were two busy chatting amongst themselves to even notice a slim, tiny fox scrambling between their shins for dear life as they passed. Even so, Karen doubted she could be spotted underneath such corpulent buff giants.

Ignoring more laughter from other bar patrons that witnessed the event, Karen pushed her way outside, not wanting to be around for the bears to discover what everyone found so funny. The landing steps were too far apart for her shortened legs, forcing the part fox to hop down each stage until her foot paws landed on solid earth.

Amazing what losing two feet of height can do to your bearings. Karen looked around the bustling town buildings, trying desperately to familiarize herself with landmarks for a sense of direction.

BOOM!

SIIIIZZLE!

“Ah, there he is.” Karen mumbled after another little bomb shot into the air and exploded in a shower of yellow sparks. She’d never understand why several passersby would stop to ogle such a bright, noisy display. It’s like they never heard of signal flares before. That’s all fireworks were as far as she thought.

Still, she followed its general launching point across back alleys and around trading squares to a little shop between the blacksmith and a bread stand. Its hand painted sign displayed a magic wand firing off little pops similar to fireworks.

BOOM! BOOM!

Much like the ones flying off from its backyard to explode over its roof. Karen definitely knew she was in the right place now. Stepping inside her tail dragged hard enough to collect dust. Setting bright blue eyes on the young blond witch manning the counter filled the tiny transforming woman with all kinds of emotions, most of them violent.

“Welcome back, Karen!” the shopkeeper oozed her words out with immense satisfaction, matching her smug grin. She plucked a strawberry from a fruit bowl that was most likely breakfast and offered it out on stretched fingertips. “Care for a bite? You’re looking a bit shrimpy in those big boy clothes.”

“Oh, stuff it, Teddy,” Karen lashed back in her slow walk over. A stole had already been set, which she didn’t hesitate to climb up and meet the witch gaze. She almost appreciated the big-breasted bimbo didn’t laugh at any point in her antics. “Time to finally set things straight after the hellish week you’ve given me.”

Teddy’s full lips opened for an annoyed huff, complete with brown eyes rolling. “For the last time, you brutish klutz, the dealer called twos wild. My straight was totally legal and you ain’t convincing the other six people there any different.”

“Not that, you dolt!” Karen untied the money pouch and tossed it at Teddy. The witch gave a startled yelp as it smacked between her breasts before she could catch it. “That’s everything I’ve earned here in the past week. Once I do this errand for you, our debt will be squared. Right!?”

“Oh? You saw my job notice on the boards?” Teddy dolled out the coins, taking a surprisingly short time to count from Karen’s perspective. “Yes. In fact, after this I might even pay you some of this back. Although, are you sure you’ll be… capable of working human jobs in a few hours.”

“I will smack that smug grin off your face. Of course I’m more than capable of a simple job. If you have concerns you can always just remove your stupid curse now.”

“Hah! Nice try, runt,” Teddy said as she deposited the cash into a chained lock box behind her counter. Without giving Karen another glance, she jerked a thumb at the magic shop’s back door. “My precious goods are out back. Just make sure they stay unharmed until six and I’ll come relieve you. Oh! And leave the knife. I don’t want to risk an accident.”

Karen’s black nostrils flared, but she complied, slamming her kitchen knife from the inn onto the counter before hopping down. If a simple guard shift solved her transformation problem, then it hardly mattered if she was armed by the end or not. Hell, she didn’t care if she was standing watch on four paws by then. Her hands would come back in the morning if that gross flaunting mage was worth her word.

She was at least relieved the doorway was enchanted with magic. The latch lifted of its own accord upon Karen’s approach and swung open to let cool morning air wash over what remained of her brown hair.

SRRRRPPPPPHHHHH!!

FWOOMT!

It would have almost been a peaceful experience if not for the much louder proximity to the fireworks going off. Karen hobbled arching feet paws onto the landing, letting her eyes readjust to the sunlight. It looked like Teddy had gone to lengths clearing out her backyard for the flashy display. Near the base of the stairs, barrels of water and food were stacked up as probably a free invitation. While in one far corner, several crates were set out wide open. Each one was still filled to overflowing with various forms of the dazzling explosive creations.

And in the center of the yard a group of kids ranging from six to fifteen were laughing and playing about as they set up the next round. Karen’s stomach dropped into her feet in the same fashion her tail hit the wooden landing. She whirled on dainty paws only to have the magic door slam shut in her fox muzzle.

“Damn it, Teddy!” Karen slammed both fists on the door, but at this point they barely had the strength for a gentle knocking. “You didn’t say this was a babysitting job!”

“Hey! Mom sent us a kitty!”

Karen’s ears whipped erect upon realizing the attention she brought into herself. A slow turn confirmed the entire gaggle of adolescents were now fixated on the strange little animal in baggy people’s clothes. Some of the younger ones had already dropped their unused fireworks to converge on the steps leading to their new companion with giddy interest.

Her animal yips of terror could be heard for blocks away, although most townspeople assumed them for more fireworks they were unlucky enough to find in time to admire.

Epilogue

Karen couldn’t stop her tail from wagging as one of her charges yawned and leaned against her shoulder as the sky dimmed for the first time in an hour, as the grand fireworks show ended. She was fully changed now, and had been since about sunset, though Teddy was kind enough to let her keep her voice after the kids gave her big eyes in the afternoon when she started to Yip and Bark more than talk, despite her best efforts not to.

Karen would never admit it, but she had grown a little attached to the kids as she watched them. She found she was quite good with them after the initial period of poking and prodding had ended. They even helped her ditch her pants when even she had to admit they were ridiculously big and in the way, her paws lacking anywhere near enough dexterity to undo her belt, far better suited to walking on all fours which she had finally given into a round lunch. They spent the next hour experimenting with different ways of making her shirt work, turning it into a sort of game. Ending with her shirt swapped out for one off of the youngest, and her rope belt tied around what was her waist to keep it from dragging and getting caught in her hind legs.

Karen’s ears twitched back as she kept a close watch on the few that hadn’t passed out, ready to pounce on anything in order to protect her Kits. “Kids… not Kits,” she said under her breath, her instincts slipping in a bit.

Teddy had offered to remove her trigger for her Curse at 6 like promised, but Karen found it hard to resist the children’s pleas to have her take them to the big show that night, a few extra gold from teddy was all it took for her to agree, promising to bring them back right after. Karen looked at the children sleeping around her, a smile creeping on her face as she curled up among them, her eyes open and ears scanning as she kept watch. She would wake them up to bring them home… eventually.