Ask Wendel #3 (Patreon)

I wouldn't call them 'workers' so much as 'pains in my ass.' When I rented the office floor for my publishing headquarters, I was ill aware of the three nut jobs renting out their own business venture on the floor above me. Now, thanks to some choice threats from the landlord, and a court case involving me coating the highway in slime after transforming into a hermaphroditic slug kaiju, they are legally obligated to work community service under said landlords supervision.

Apparently, she thinks putting them in my investigative journalism bracket is doing me some kind of favor. I wouldn't be paying these people even if I had to!

First there's Jason; she's a chubby raccoon woman with an oddly masculine name. I hear she's a bit of a scientist prodigy. I tend to believe it, considering she's made good money off selling some really interesting inventions. On the other hand I tend to be a bit weary with how often said inventions 'accidentally' get tested out on me. I'd almost call her cute, but there's a hair trigger when it comes to constructive criticism. Something about a woman with the power to turn me into a lemon danish is a turn off for me.

Yes. I'm talking about the pastry...

And then there's the roommate, Desmond Fallout; the blue guy. This guy...um...he's interesting, or at least seems oddly interested in befriending me. Sure would be nice if I didn't keep being reduced to some gaudy form of fetish fuel when he's around. He also claims to be a scientist, but seems more like a handy man with a passion for making 'potions.' And that's a bit of a laugh. He's probably just stealing stuff from Jason, since magic things like alchemists can't possibly exist. Right? Also, I have no clue what his species is. He once said he was some kind of hybrid fusion of fox and squirrel.

And Rayna...she's kind of cute. Uh, I mean, I'm not sure what Rayna does. She's a wolf that introduced herself as Desmond's pet. Which means the less I know about that the better. Still, she's really friendly and seems to know her way around a printing press. I honestly think she does more journalism than the other two jerks combined. Unfortunately, she gets transformed more often then I do around the office. I've seen her as species I didn't know existed, often varying in sizes from eight to twenty feet tall.

And I guess it's worth bringing up my landlord, Tabitha. She's a bit...impressive, to say the least; also seems to have a fascination with me on par with Desmond. That's fine, though, at least she's not destroying my stuff and reducing me to three-inches tall. Granted her enormous...presence has trouble fitting through tight office spaces. At least she's nice to me about it. You think I dislike the other three? She seems to outright hate them, and it gets intense sometimes. Lord only knows what kind of deal keeps her putting up with them in her building.

Not much else to say. I've only just met these people. Maybe my opinion of them might change as we get to know each other, but again...hermaphrodite slug kaiju...

Do slugs even HAVE genders?

Art courtesy of: Marco and Dedo