10 WESTERN Songs I Wish Were Anime Themes - part 10 (Patreon)

I’ve noticed a surprising number of my “carefully considered anime theme picks” also happen to be “the very first song I ever heard by that artist.” And yes, this is another one of those cases. In fact, it’s also my introduction to a whole genre, or at least something pretty darn close to it. I’m sure I’d encountered a few examples of Downtempo/Chillout music during my early stumbling through the various facets of Indie music at the turn of the millennium, but I definitely didn’t have any clue what it was. Then “Destiny” happened. During this brief window of time where I thought popular, contemporary music was worth keeping up with, I’d watch the one block of music videos that VH-1 still aired in the early morning. Most of the rotation was pretty forgettable in the long run, stuff like Hoobastank and Incubus and Nickleback, But somehow, in the midst of all this Butt Rock, “Destiny” slipped onto the TV and just blew me away. So much so that, when I realized I couldn’t remember the name of the artist, I spent hours searching “animated music video” online until I tracked it down that way. And yes, it was absolutely worth the effort.

To be clear, Zero 7’s debut album Simple Things is not unique by any stretch of the imagination. Basically, it’s an Air album just with some guest vocals by Sia here and there. But I’ve the kind of guy who doesn’t care if what you do is original, just so long as it’s what I like and it’s done well, and Zero 7 absolutely nail that. Where a lot of Chillout leans too hard on being slick background noise to be tuned out, Zero 7 remember to include some actual melodies and hooks so that the songs are worth paying attention to. The chorus in particular, with the vocal blend between Sia and co-writer Sophie Barker, is absolutely spine-tingling. And that’s not to discount the contributions of Zero 7’s “real” members Henry Binns and Sam Hardaker, who construct a magnificent foundation of swirling synths and too-cool bass lines that complete the intoxicating brew. In fairness, “Destiny” is essentially a Quiet Storm melody run through a Smooth Jazz filter for maximum slickness, and that’s why these days I tend to listen to those original source materials more than the Downtempo spinoffs. Still, “Destiny” is one of those songs that succeeds and being more than just the sum of its parts, and I keep coming back to it after all these years. And it always hits the spot.

But what kind of anime do I think it’d be a good theme for? …well, a bout that. First of all, this is another case where I’m suggesting a song as the ENDING theme rather than the OP, which often brings up some irregularities. Specifically, I immediately imagine one of those closing credit sequences that, honestly, has very little to do with the song or even the show as a whole. You know, the ones where the credits just stroll past a loop of some prop from the show rotating or a slideshow of promo images of the cast against a black background or a POV shot of a cheep CG render of a road, or some combination thereof. The sort of thing that was probably slapped together the night before the show aired, or a sign that the producers spent all the money licensing the song itself. I know this has come up in these blogs before, and I’m hardly bigging up the rest of THIS blog by leading with this, but that’s the kind of closing credit sequence I immediately imagine “Destiny” being.

But there’s also something else that comes to mind here, something that MIGHT be cheating a bit, but that implies there were ever rules here to begin with. See, themes of both an Opening and Closing variety aren’t JUST heard during the credits, not necessarily. There’s plenty of cases of a theme song being used during the show itself, usually as a one-off “this is important” cue, but sometimes just as a regular feature of the show. Case in point, sometimes the ending theme starts playing during the last scene of the episode, especially if it’s the kind of show where every episode ends on a kind of a “dun dun duuuuun” moment. Better yet, what if it keeps playing AFTERWARDS, in a show with a little cliffhanger stinger right after the credits? Those are rarer, but they do happen. And you know what? “Destiny” would make a great theme to be used in that way. It’s simultaneously chill enough to serve as a cool-down after a lot of stuff happening, but also smoldering enough to heighten any emotional moments that occur on top of it. It’s got enough vocal-free sections that editing it to play underneath dialog would be pretty darn easy, and I can guarantee that any scene with this song accompanying it would feel like a bigger deal than it would without it (and possibly justify the cost of licensing it in the first place). But most importantly for MY thought process, it also sets a clear precedent for what kind of show this would be attached to: a soap opera-type show with dramatic twists and constant cliffhangers!

Okay, “show with ongoing storyline that leaves you hanging” still doesn’t exactly narrow things down much. Instead, I have drawn inspiration from the fact that “Destiny” has a sexy, romantic vibe that suggests a show “for the ladies.” …that is the single worst transition I’ve ever come up with and I apologize. But seriously, though, I really do find my attention drifting towards josei, the often neglected older sister of shoujo that targets adult women. I am obviously NOT a member of that target demographic, but that’s all the more reason why pitching such an idea now represents a change of pace! I mean, I’m still going to suggest a show with a strong Science Fiction element, because it’s ME writing this, but I do think a show caped off with a song like “Destiny” would probably turn out to be a show with the comparatively grounded, realist, dramatic themes that seem to be the bread and butter of josei. Emphases on “seems,” since I must again stress, I’m just idly speculating about a genre I don’t actively follow.

But anyway, the pitch: I find myself imagining a sort of workplace drama about a bunch of young professional women… working in various branches of a massive tech giant creating reality-bending VR technology. Like I said, it’s ME. I gotta slip some SciFi in just for me. I think it could work pretty well dramatically, though, if the theme of the overall show was on a sort of “Who am I?” kind of wavelength. Plotlines about people getting wrapped up in digital fantasies and having their identities tampered with via technological conditioning could easily be used as a sort of macrocosm of the personal issues of these women trying to figure themselves out in the context of live-consuming jobs.

And make no mistake, the show that’s emerging in my head would be more about strung-along character moments than any strong singular “plot.” Like, say, we get several episodes in seeing glimpses of one of the characters at home, living an idyllic life with a loving husband and cute kids and friendly neighbors and a nice dog and all that good stuff. Then, at one point, one of the other characters actually visits her at home, and we discover that the previous glimpses were all a VR simulation, and she ACTUALLY lives alone in a barren craphole apartment with no friends because she’s so busy with her work. Or maybe one character becomes suspicious that the tech conglomerate might be using VR programs to brainwash politicians and expand their own power, but it’s never clearly established if that’s actually a thing or just her driving herself insane from working too hard. Or maybe one character throws everything into working on one specific project, only to discover later on that it’s not only been canceled, but was NEVER actually expected to be completed and was only green lit as part of some convoluted bit of corporate politics to make one division look busier than another. Stuff that uses the intersection of big business and immersive technology to ask questions about what these women are doing with their lives. Heck, I could even see this being the kind of show that wouldn’t conclude so much as just stop when the episode order ran out, then try to spin the lack of climax as some sort of existential statement about modern life. (You know, the kind of thing that tends to not translate out of Japanese very well)

After all, this is a song called “Destiny.” It’s all about the contrast between the chorus pledging eternal love to someone and the verses wallowing in the loneliness of separation from that person. It’s ultimately a song about frustration and dissatisfaction, which does fit the vibe of the setting I’ve just laid out. Every episode laid out with an array of these women struggling with various things, then the song starts playing and you know one of them is about to have something really unexpected dropping on them right as (or right after) the credits start rolling. I could see it working pretty well in that context.

…granted, I could also see this being exactly the kind of show I WOULDN’T find interesting. Like, it’d probably be that one show somebody else brings to Anime Night and I just tune out turning. Heck, even coming up with art for this one presented a challenge, since I just don’t like that whole long-faced art style that the idea seems to call for.  I tried my best, but there's only so much I can do to fight against my own artistic instincts.  But I could see OTHER people getting into it, grabbing screencaps of characters looking dissatisfied at work and tweeting out “LITERALLY ME” and that sort of thing. I mean, people still talk about Serial Experiment Lain, and while this wouldn’t be anywhere near as artsy or experimental as that, the themes still seem like they’d scratch the same itch. And besides, just the fact that it seems to be a show I wouldn’t like is generally a good sign that something will be more successful with everybody else.

The bigger issue would probably be that, from what I can tell, josei is much more of a manga thing, with relatively few of them getting adapted into anime in the first place. It makes sense, I guess, as anime is way more expensive and needs a lot more merchandising opportunities to justify its existence. And admittedly, that also makes it a but unlikely, even if such a show DID get made, that it would be able to justify licensing a Western song for the soundtrack. But hey, maybe the fantasy world where this show exists is also a fantasy world where some big name director shepherds the project and throws some weight around to get it preferential treatment. Passion projects may not be quite as common as they were back in the bubble economy, but they do still happen.

And speaking of passion projects, THIS ONE’S OVER! Yep, I have once again managed to stretch out a silly excuse to talk about songs I like and vague anime tropes into ANOTHER ten whole blog posts! And now that it’s done, am I going to do it all over again? YES! …eventually. I’ve actually been tinkering with SEVERAL lists of songs that I could possibly sell as themes to made up anime, but I’m not gonna jump into that just yet. I could claim that it’s to give people a rest on the idea, but it’s incredibly obvious by this point that I’m only doing these things because I enjoy them, in flagrant disregard of the feelings of others. No, the more pressing issue is that I’ve got some other Patreon projects cooking, and really ought to devote the time and energy spent on these to some of them instead. But just you wait, I’ll start assaulting you with even more stuff from my iPod when you least expect it!