Far Out There: Character Soundtrack - Xeselgrox (Patreon)

Hey look, we’ve hit peak obscurity! Yes, I made Character Soundtracks for those two random nitpickers who have to constantly babysit Aunt Domino! THOSE two! Who even remembers those two exist? Did you? Don’t lie! But yeah, I did this. In fact, I kind of did it twice! It’s pretty clearly established in the comics that Xeselgrox and Hanes are a couple, and at first my plan was to buck convention and do one single soundtrack for the BOTH of them… but then I started overthinking things and wound up with a soundtrack that was kind of divided into two sections, and was way too long, and had too many extra songs that I still wanted to cram in… so yeah, here we are in two separate soundtracks with two separate blog posts. Oh, and one other thing I’ve mentioned before, but bears repeating: Hanes is the one with the tentacle face and head in a bowl, Xeselgrox is the one with the big red Miss Bellum hair. That wasn’t the ORIGINAL plan; at first the one with the weird face had the weird name, as genre standards would dictate. But then the thought occurred “Heh, wouldn’t it be funny if it were the other way around?” and it took waaaaaay longer than it should have for me to realize, “HEY! I’m the one writing this thing! If I think it'd be funny, I can change whatever stuff I want!” Since they’d only appeared in comics at the same time, it wasn’t clear which name went to which character, so swapping things would be no problem! But yeah, this is Xeselgrox’s soundtrack, the redhead.

Now, it’s pretty well established (to the extent that characters who show up this rarely CAN have things established) that Xeselgrox & Hanes are very lazy individuals. The whole reason their job is hanging around Nitpicker HQ and looking after some goofball is because they’re too laid back to actually get any meaningful work done out in the field. So my original plan was to give the pair of them a really relaxed, chilled out, lazy Sunday afternoon type soundtrack… but then it got to long and unwieldy and now we have TWO lazy Sunday afternoon soundtracks. There’s a pretty distinct stylistic difference between the two, but I don’t wanna spoil the surprise for Hanes' blog too much next month. In the meantime, we'll just focus on Xeselgrox.

We’ve had a lot of characters lately whose soundtracks are clearly based around a pre-existing genre or time period, but Xeselgrox brings us back to the weirder realm of songs from wherever that I just happen to think fit some ill-defined “vibe.” Xeselgrox’s soundtrack is generally drawn from the mid-90s to early-00s, but does so across a rather staggering array of genres and scenes. We’re about to jump across obscure Indie to mainstream Rock to JPop to even Contemporary Christian, with the only unifying factor being mood. These are all songs that, in one way or another, I can recall chilling out to on some late Summer drive, often back in the dark days before iPods when I had to rely on strange objects called CD or *shudder* a device called a “radio.” There’s a few common traits across most of these songs, like prominent use of guitar or a steady, head-nodding 4/4 beat, but that’s some reeeaaally basic stuff we’re talking about. Otherwise, the only thing tying these songs together is mood. To me, at least, this is the sound of a long cruise in a hot car at the end of a long day when you just can’t be bothered to listen to anything that requires any brainpower. And that’s the only kind of entertainment Xeselgrox has the energy for, musical or otherwise.

Just to drive the point home, I usually try to lump the songs together into thematic groups for these blogs, just to give things a sense of narative progression or whatever, but I can’t find a way to do that here. Instead, I’m just gonna have to run down Xeselgrox’s playlist lineally, track by track, beginning to end. So if this blog seems a bit more rambling and full of “and then THIS happened” moments than usual, or if my attempts at transitions seem even more like a reach… well, that’s ‘cos they are. Sorry. If you’re annoyed, I recommend just listening to the soundtrack a few times, it’ll mellow ya right out.

We start off with the song “Waves” by indie band Marjorie Fair, and I must confess that, despite this song being a favorite of mine for years, I know NOTHING about this group or anything else they’ve done. I just stumbled onto “Waves” back when I was listening to Pandora Radio a lot, and it’s been a favorite of mine ever since. The chord structure is very much of that Jazz/Lounge revival that was so popular in turn of the millennium Indie Pop, but the actual performace is pure Alternative Rock, with a solid wall of electric guitar strumming throughout. That steady Rock rhythm guitar immediately sets the tone for everything that’s to follow.

What follows is “Anything” by early 90s Contemporary Christian Rock act PFR. As befitting the famous cliché, there’s only one or two easy to miss lines throughout the whole song that give away its religious bent, otherwise the refrain “It doesn’t mean anything without you” could easily be read as a bog standard love song. Either way, though, what the listener REALLY remembers about “Anything” is the soft, comfy bed of mellow harmonies and chill guitar chords. This one song is at least 60% of the reason why I still have a fonder impression of 90s Christian music than most Rock fans.

On a decidedly more secular bent, our next track is “Jaded,” aka Aerosmith comeback song no. 235784. Compared to their other big “Wow, they’re STILL having hits?” power ballads of the era, “Jaded” seems to have largely been forgotten by the general populace, and that’s a shame because I like it a lot more than better-remembered tunes like “Pink” or “Crazy” or “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing.” It’s a bit more musically complex, with it’s faux-Eastern guitar riff, and that helps balance out the big post-Oasis production that would leave a lesser composition feeling bloated. Instead, “Jaded” is another prime Sunday afternoon driving tune.

Jumping back to Alternative-influenced trios from the 90s, next up is “If” by Japanese band Triceratops. I’ve already gushed about this in one of my Songs I Wish Were Anime Themes blogs, so I’ll direct you over there for a more detailed account of my long history with this one. Suffice it to say that “If” is another song with decidedly un-Rock-like chords in an extremely Rock arranging, resulting in another nice relaxing groove.

And speaking of 90s artists inching their way into the new century, Lenny Kravitz rocks up with one of the most recognizable songs on this whole soundtrack: “Again.” Or, at least, the most recognizable CHORUS. I doubt most people remember that “Again” has verses at all even at the moment when they’re actively listening to those verses, because that chorus is just such an apocalyptic ear worm. I remember getting sick to death of this song back in my teens just because it lived rent free in my head for so long, but I've mellowed out in my old age, and it’s still a perfect fit for Xeselgrox’s vibe.

From one Already Classic Rock While They Were Still Young artist to another, we next have The Black Crowes with “She Talks To Angels.” A song that DESPERATELY wants to be an early-70s Rolling Stones ballad and mostly succeeds; this is one of those songs that has all the ingredients of Country, but still ends up being Rock because... well, we said so, that’s why. The lines are more blurred in the foggy realms of Classic Rock than a lot of people care to admit.

Speaking of which, next we have “Soul To Squeeze” by Red Hot Chili Peppers, a band anybody who’s followed all these blog posts would almost certainly NEVER have expected to see me use is any context. But as much as the pop cultural impression of the Peppers is generally informed by the likes of “Give It Away,” they’ve had a LOT of mellow, largely acoustic tunes over the years. They’re hardly my favorite band, and this isn’t even my favorite song of theirs (I’d probably give “Breaking The Girl” top honors) but this relaxed groove absolutely fits in that sleepy overlap between Alternative and Classic Rock where Xeselgrox’s soundtrack generally lies.

If that wasn't enough, just get a load of out NEXT song: “Drive” by Incubus. This is one of those bands that I ABSOLUTELY never would have had on my radar if the explosion of Garage and Indie Rock around this time hadn’t given me a grossly more positive impression of mainstream music than it deserved. But while I’d all but forgotten that their other big songs like “Wish You Were Here” or “Stellar” ever even happened until I sat down to write this, Incubus’ biggest hit “Drive” still works for me. More Classic Rock than should ever be allowed for a song with DJ record scratches, “Drive” is aptly named, because it ABSOLUTELY feels like a lazy road trip anthem. A road trip with terrible Nü-metal hair, maybe, but the SOUND is still right.

If you think the past few songs have been to mainstream, well, get ready for a DRASTIC left turn into the obscure with “View Of The Valley” by Indie outfit Bicycle. Another artist I know virtually nothing about (and thanks to having such a Google-proof name, I probably never will), “View Of The Valley” is another one of those weird little Indie obscurities that the algorithms at Pandora threw at me back in the day and I never forgot. It’s also a surprisingly good transitional track to follow “Drive,” since it also has a vague DJ beat to it, just with a lot of crappy, lo-fi, Indie kid quirkiness piled on top. And that’s not even the quirkiest thing here…

Like what? Why only weirdness poster boys The Flaming Lips! Honestly, the track in question, “It’s Summertime,” is one of the more conventional songs on Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, with some tasty Southern Rock guitar licks over a melody straight out of the 70s Singer/Songwriter playbook. But, of course, it’s also really weird, with spacy electronic bits and mellotron flourishes and a drum machine beat that’s not exactly “funky” but still doesn’t seem like it should work as well in this context as it does. Granted, most Flaming Lips songs don’t seem like they should work, but you get what I mean.

Continuing down that weird Indie rabbit hole, but coming out the other side in the land of Chillout, we find ourselves at “In The Waiting Line” by Zero 7. If anybody remembers me gushing about their song “Destiny” back on Marshall’s soundtrack, you can basically copy/past that over for “In The Waiting Line,” since they’re nearly the same song. Heck, they even both have Sophie Barker on vocals! (No Sia on this one, though) It’s probably the single least guitar-driven track on all of Xeselgrox’s soundtrack, but the mellow groove still fits like a glove.

The guitars come back with a vengeance on the next track, “The Shiney Sea” by The Apples In Stereo. Granted, “with a vengeance” is an inappropriately aggressive phrase to use in connection to a song as laid back as “The Shiney Sea.” This is exactly what song about wanting to spend life relaxing at the bottom of the ocean ought to sound like, relaxed and slow. There’s just enough psychedelic trippiness in the background to maintain the “underwater” ambiance, but the core of the song is pure Beatles-y Power Pop played at half-speed.

Diving even harder into early 00s Indie Rock, we next have “Challengers” by The New Pornographers. This is one of those songs that sound way too much like it would be played in some twee independent movie’s poignant third act montage, or worse, some major network drama that wants to LOOK like a twee independent movie, but I’ll try not to hold that against the song itself. “Challengers” really is a song that’s good enough to deserve to be over-used, and makes a good transition out of the quirkier portion of Xeselgrox’s soundtrack back into the more mainstream final stretch.

How mainstream are we talking about? Well, no less than Stone Temple Pilots rock up next with Alternative Radio mainstay “Sour Girl.” For a band that pop culture will always remember as “those guys who sounded like Pearl Jam,” my favorite STP tracks have always been lighter, more Jangle Pop tunes, and “Sour Girl” is probably the top of the heap. This is one of those songs that sounds a lot simpler than it actually is, with lot of layers of guitars all doing different stuff all melding together into a singular, dreamy wave of sound. Actually, double-checking my facts as I write this, I just now discover that “Sour Girl” was the ONLY STP song to actually make the Hot 100 (at 78, but still) so maybe I should take back what I said about being remembered as a Grunge band.

On the topic of jangly guitars, we next have “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty, the ACTUAL best-known song on this whole soundtrack. If you’ve even been in close physical proximity to a radio, you’ve heard the Classic Rock stations play this one. Even if you’ve never actually listened to any Classic Rock stations, the song has just crawled its way into your consciousness whether you knew it or not. It’s also the most simplistic song here, with that one Rickenbacker riff basically driving the whole thing, verses and chorus and everything in between. But that’s fine for a character who doesn’t have the energy to process more than one musical hook per song if she doesn’t absolutely have to.

Moving away from the mainstream again, but still pretty darn ubiquitous in the right circles, we have The Pillows with “The Sun That Will Not Rise.” That series of blogs I did on the first Japanese albums I bought has a lot to say about the Penalty Life album as a whole, so I don’t have too much new to say about this song specifically. Basically, this is just the sound of my weeb youth made manifest, and even outside of that personal nostalgia, “The Sun That Will Not Rise” is just a great mellow slab of guitar rock. I’m always a bit surprised to realize that this is only the 5th track on Penalty Life, because it totally sounds like the denouement of an album. That said, it’s not QUITE the end of Xeselgrox’s soundtrack.

The ACTUAL final track is “Let It Go” by Newsboys, which also brings up back to the unexpected realms of 90s Contemporary Christian Rock. The lyrical heaviness of a song about the theological implications of forgiveness is a bit of an odd note for a soundtrack as driven by “mellowness” as Xeselgrox’s to end on, but it works musically. This is another song full of strumming acoustic guitars to fit in with the Classic Rock stuff, but also just enough of a Triphop element to fit in with the stronger groove of the Incubus and Zero 7 tracks. Basically, “Let It Go” works perfectly as the musical coda to everything going Xeselgrox’s soundtrack… and it’s also a way better song than the Disney one of the same name. Yeah, I said it, and I don't; care if your little sister heard me say it. Come at me.

(Okay, it’s been awhile since I had a legitimate gripe down here, but now I’ve got a fair one right off the back. The opening track, “Waves” by Marjorie Fair, doesn’t seem to exits on YouTube in it’s full, unedited state aside from the usual YouTube Music post, which comes with the usual georestrictions. The music video for “Waves” is available in all regions, and that’s what I put on the playlist, but it’s also nearly a minute shorter than the album version. I mean, that’s better than not being able to hear it at all in certain regions, but it’s still frustrating. Then again, the official YouTube Music posts for all the songs off that Marjorie Fair album have the cover art for some Simple Minds album instead of the ACTUAL Self Help Serenade cover. That’s just disrespectful. I could also gripe about there not being a post of Triceratops' “If” that’s less than a decade old, but I’m pretty sure I already did that over on that other blog. Also, I feel a bit back about including a fan posting of Bicycle’s “View Of The Valley,” because the official one only has a whopping FOUR VIEWS as I write this. But, alas, it’s bot all the usual region locks on it, so a decade-old fan post it is. At least I actually FOUND that song, though. This soundtrack was SUPPOSED to have “Shiawase (Happiness)” by Puffy AmiYumi on it, but that song’s been scrubbed off the face of Western YouTube entirely. Curse you, Japanese Record Industry! Oh, one other thing that’s just kinda funny: when I went to look up a video for “Challengers,” YouTube’s search results autocompleted the band name as “The New Photographers.” Gee, I can’t imagine why people wouldn’t have wanted to type out the band’s ACTUAL name…)

Xeselgrox's YouTube Playlist