Conventional Wisdom: Some Rambling About Plushies (Patreon)

(I started this on the laptop while the computer wasn’t working, but then I got distracted by the mad dash to get caught up on everything else after it started working again. Hey, figured I might as well hurry up and finish it right now)

I have a Scribbles plushie. I dunno if you’ve heard about this yet, since it’s only front and center of every third tweet I write during any convention. Between all the massive tumblr photosets, I’m sure this has slipped by a few people. So let’s talk about this little fuzzy mascot!

I wish I could take credit for Scribbles’ creation, but while I may have come up with the character, I had nothing to do with the making of his physical manifestation. Oh, I’m sure I TALKED about getting a Scribbles plushie made at some point before it happened. I have a friend who used to take a chibi Ultraman plushie around to conventions as his own personal trademark, and I remember thinking “now THAT’S something I could co-opt for my own purposes!” But then, I talk about doing things all the time, don’t I? Of COURSE one of the few times those things actually happened was a time I had nothing to do with. Another friend of mine commissioned one of his friends to make the Scribbles plushie as a birthday present… and I feel kind of bad that I don’t have her name on hand to provide a more proper shout-out. But yeah, the truth is there’s not much of a story behind plushie Scribbles’ creation, at least not from my point of view; he just sort of fell into my lap.

Honestly, the more interesting thing to talk about is the little guy’s future, because I’ve been saying for a while now that his last convention is right around the corner. No, I have not come around to the idea that a grown man carrying a stuffed animal with him in crowded public places is kinda weird. YOU'RE weird.  Shut up. I HAVE, however, noticed that Scribbles has accumulated more than his fair share of battle damage over these years on the road. It’s actually amazing he’s in as relatively good shape as he is, given the punishment that little plushie’s absorbed so far. SOMEHOW we’ve managed to avoid any major spills or stains or things getting completely ripped off and lost, but minor damage is starting to pile up nonetheless. It’s not incredibly obvious from a distance yet, but up close it’s easy to see how much dirt and gunk has accumulated all over the place. I mean, three-quarters of the guy’s surface area is solid white. Dirt is gonna have a way of showing up. And, unfortunately, I really don’t have any idea how to go about cleaning something like this. More precicely, I don't know how to go about DRYING after the washing is done.    I mean, I GUESS a plushie this size is small enough that a basic trip through the dryer would thoroughly get all the moisture out (if it’s good enough to dry a coverlet or sleeping bag…)  The problem is, I’m not sure if Scribbles would physically SURVIVE a trip through the dryer. That’s the main reason I think his traveling days are winding down: the stitching is starting to get a bit worrisome. I can already see the points where the seams between the arms and torso are getting a bit too loose for comfort, and I’ve had to sew his belt back into his midsection more than once already. All things considered, I’d prefer to retire Scribbles BEFORE he falls apart at a con, not BECAUSE of it.

And, well, to be perfectly honest… Look, I’m not enough of a nitpicker as to complain about minor artistic details on something that was made for me as a free gift… but if I WERE, I’d point out that the ears are rather off-model, the head-to-torso proportions are noticeably off, the little tuft of hair only has three points instead of four, and the size in general is barely half Scribbles’ “actual” size. Again, I will never turn up my nose at a free gift over minor quibbles like that; who cares how many points the hair has?  Still, they WERE enough to plant the idea early on that, at SOME point, I’d trade Scribbles mk. 1 in for a more on-model version, and that’d be the “official” Scribbles plushie from then on. The basic laws of entropy are just serving to push me closer to that inevitability.

So, I need a new Scribbles at some point. How’s that going to happen? Well, I dunno. Again, the first Scribbles plushie happened without any real impetus on my part, so this is still uncharted territory for me. The obvious answer is to just commission one of the many crafty types out there to make me a new one, laying some real money down so I’m allowed to be more picky about the artistic details. But therein lies the problem: commissioning things takes money. If I had the money lying around for stuff like that… well, I wouldn’t need a Patreon, would I? The other, and more useful in the long run, option is to BECOME one of those crafty types myself. Everybody who knows how to make their own plushies learned how at some point, right? Obviously, learning how to make things takes a lot of time and effort, and seeing as how my current To-Do List contains everything from “learn how to make video games” to “lay out and produce professional grade comic collections” to “just start getting comics out on a regular schedule again”, it’ll have to wait its turn. But darn it, you KNOW that’d be a useful talent to have!

But what would Scribbles mk. 2 look like? (he asked, on the off chance somebody out there who COULD afford to commission new plushies was looking for Christmas present ideas) Well, more like the drawings, obviously. Once again, the current plushie is CLOSE, but there’s a few nitpicky problems. The head would need to be bigger than the torso rather than the other way around, and they ears would need to droop downwards rather than point up like a cat’s ears. Also, in general, the ideal Scribbles plushie would be a lot thicker than the current version: the torso’s depth being equal to its width and the head, while wider, being comparable. And it’d be bigger, that’s probably the one point of contention that isn’t purely artistic nitpicking. While the current Scribbles is certainly easy to carry around, that smaller size often makes it a challenge to take pictures where it actually interacts with anything. Instead, I’ve had to get really good at the whole “forced perspective, holding things in front of other things” maneuver, and that can get a little old after a while. While a “realistically-sized” Scribbles would be a little more awkward to lug around, pictures would be a lot easier to pull off, and that’s kind of the point, right? Of course, I don’t actually have an “official” Scribbles height in inches, just vague idea. Remember those giant stuffed Meowths they sold right after Pokémon got big? Basically, imagine a somewhat smaller version of that. Or, if you’ve seen me in person at a con before, roughly the same height as the Tom Servo puppet, depending on whether or not the legs are dangling underneath or not (Scribbles’ not Servos. That would just be nonsense) Speaking of which, that’s one point where I would be willing to concede artistic accuracy for basic practicality: shorter and stubbier limbs. Current Scribble’s arms and legs are pretty spot-on, dimension-wise, but I fear that’s part of the reason why those joint seams look like they’ll be the first to go. If wider limbs equal a studier body, I’d be all for it.

But, again, talking something up doesn’t mean I’ll actually get around to doing it anytime soon. Even if I DID get serious about learning to make plushies myself in the near future, Scribbles is far from the first one of the mascots I’d try to make. Aside from, obviously, wanting to perfect my craft before making the one I’d take around with me everywhere, I’m pretty sure Scribbles is at the far end of the difficulty scale among the Conventional Wisdom mascots. Step one would absolutely be Blah. I mean, he’s basically a pink pillow with a face. Aside from the fundamental cutting, stitching, and stuffing, the only details Blah would require is a three lines for the face and a single piece of fabric for the hair tuft.  I’d probably end up making a TON of Blahs as a way of learning the absolute basics of the craft. How’s that for irony: the Mascot of Procrastination being the one I’d do FIRST? From there… well, Gright from Far Out There is probably the next easiest of my creations to recreate physically. It’s basically a zombie Hello Kitty anyway, and I’ve already seen others make their own plushie versions. I think Yoink and Grumbles might be the next easiest to do, with their simpler shapes and the fact that they wear clothes hopefully making them less challenging to put together. Only after them would I feel confident enough to try and make a Scribbles I’d actually take places (or, at least, one that I wouldn’t constantly be calling a temporary stand-in). Ironically, Miffy –the one character specifically created to be on merchandise– would probably be the LAST one I’d ever try to make, since she seems like she’d be the most difficult to do. Yeah, I planned THAT out well, didn’t I?

But, again, there’s a LOT of more pressing matters for me to take care of before I start spending time learning to make stuffed animals. So this is all just pipe dreams for the future… unless somebody out there feels like making one for me. Because they like me so much. Hint hint.  (Naw, I'm just kidding... sort of)