"A TPK Carol" mp3! (Patreon)

Here is a silly little song! Hope you like it! Music video coming soon. (And by that I mean I haven't started it yet. BUT I'M SHOT LISTING IT NOW.)

Lyrics

Dash or disengage,
Take a dodge or help or hide,
No matter what we did,
Our whole party died!

The Dungeon Master laughed (ha ha ha!)
As we begged her on our knees
We should’ve had a plan but now
We’re rolling new PCs

CHORUS
Oh! TPK, TPK, total party kill
Grab your backup character ‘cause this is not a drill
TPK, TPK, total party kill
We all failed our death saves but at least we got a thrill

Our rogue was playing scout,
Her cloak was her disguise
But then some winter wolves
Did take her by surprise

Their eyes were burning blue
They readied their attack
And then they tore her limb from limb
With tactics of the pack!

(CHORUS)

The party hurried in
The wizard raised her staff
To cast her fireball
On our late rogue’s behalf

The wolves all aced their saves
Their jaws reeking of death
They froze our wizard head to toe
With icy, stinking breath

(CHORUS)

Then our barbarian
Whose rage was fierce and hot
She struck those wolves right down,
Advancing as she fought

Her axe was bloodied red
They could not hold her back
Until that dragon coasted in
And ate her like a snack!

(CHORUS)

We all failed our death saves but at least we got a thrill!