"Roll Up Your Attributes" mp3 (Patreon)

Hooray, this month's new song is finally here! This music video is coming next week (hopefully... I'm scrambling a bit right now trying to get it done.)

This is a parody of "Unpack your Adjectives" from the 70s-90s US children's educational show "Schoolhouse Rock." If this goes over well, I'm hoping to do a whole Rulebook Rock series! You can download your mp3 here.

Lyrics

Sat down to play D&D
Who will my character be?
Will they be strong or weak,
Will they be brave or meek,
What do the other adventurers see?
Time to roll up our attributes.

First roll four six-sided dice
Set the worst number aside
Add the remaining three
That number is the key
Then you just do that another five times
‘Til you’ve rolled up your attributes

Attributes are numbers that you use to derive things,
Like saving throws, hit points, and AC
You’ll be gruff or you’ll be charming
You’re bewitching or alarming
Attributes can show what you’ll be.

Attributes can tell you what you’re good or you’re bad at
They give you every single thing you need
Got a high dex? You can hide
Got a high con? You’ll survive
They each hold an answer to what is the chance you’ll succeed.

One attribute will apply
To every task that you try
Roll Strength to lift a rock
Roll DEX to pick a lock
Roll a D20 and hope that it’s high
Then you add on your attributes

(Spoken) Wow! So I add 15 to this?

(Spoken) Not exactly! See how the attribute boxes have two open spots for numbers? The little oval is for your attribute score, but the main box is for your modifier. It’s calculated from your attribute score, and that’s what you add to your actual roll. To get that number, subtract ten from your attribute score, divide that by two, and round down. You’ll use the modifier way more than the ability score — that’s the number that actually counts.

Next time you're ad-ven-ture-ing
You'll hear this song that I sing
You’ll know what you can do
Your strengths and weakness too
And what those six little numbers are for
And we call them your attributes
Everybody has attributes
Everything starts with attributes
So let’s roll up your attributes