Journal Self Portraits 2015-2017 (Patreon)

Wow, we hit the $50 goal, thank you so much for joining me here! My $50 goal was to start making an autobiographical comic and sharing one every other week. I plan to release the comics/illustrations on here a week before I post them anywhere else, as a thank you for supporting me!

SO to get the autobiographical/illustrative journal part started I thought I’d look back over my personal journals of the last three years and share the multitude of self-portraits I found. Often in times of stress or happiness I would do a quick self-portrait. I found it grounding. It reminded me of who I was in that moment, to be present and grateful for myself. 

2015-2016

I was a stressed out architecture student who didn’t like her major and had no clue what to do with her life. I was struggling with feelings of laziness and inadequacy. I traveled to Texas for an internship that tought me a solid lesson in what I didn't want to do: work for a huge company. I also went vegan that summer, which has proved to be a significant focus of my life. At the time I just drew for fun, for me, for peace and joy. 

During this time I went to therapy at my school because i felt lonely and overwhelmed and uninspired and lazy and unhappy. I ended up visiting a Life Coach once a week. Through visiting with her I searched for the things that made me feel creative, inspired, and joyful, so that I could seek that as a career.

Wow. The thing that was making me happy was painting and I was so ashamed of that. 

Towards the end of college I abandoned the idea that I had to pursue architecture, or landscape architecture, or anything in that design field. I stopped trying to make something fit for me that I just wasn’t me. I took random opportunities that came my way. I wrote an article for a school blog. I worked as a server in a restaurant. I painted a big picture for a student who collected art. I signed up for a residency at an ashram after I graduated. 

I was feeling proud, confident, and me again.

At the end of that summer after college I was ready to WORK. I had decided to become a vegan restaurant owner because I loved food, cooking, and veganism. I cut my hair, and my boyfriend and I bought one way tickets to Seattle.

2016-2017

That whole year I worked full-time in that very busy, changing, inspiring, intense restaurant. It was very hard at first, very stressful. I wanted to be good at being a cook and I just wasn’t as first. But I stuck with it and tried harder than I’ve ever tried at anything. When I wasn’t at work I was exhausted but so proud that I was improving.

I also started creating more in my spare time. Drawings and paintings to hang on my empty walls, presents for friends, earrings. I felt like I was free to create more than I had even in college. 

With the money from the restaurant I felt like I could afford to take care of another life. So I adopted my baby, my cat Pumpkin.

I was making more and more, I finished inktober for the first time, a coworker asked if she could buy a pair of my earrings, then another. Then someone asked if I could sell them online, so I opened my etsy. My friend moved to Seattle and showed me more of the joys of illustration. I gave art to some people for free, and then another coworker commissioned my first portrait from me. I loved it, loved the happiness I saw in others when I created something for them. 

I started thinking maybe I could make this my career.

As always I was still hard on myself, doubted myself. These self-portraits comforted me still.

And here we are! I haven’t been journaling as much lately, because I’ve felt like I needed to “focus on “”work”’. But I can see the emotional and creative benefit of this illustration.

I’m so excited to put more of my energies into autobiographical illustrations.

I hope you enjoy it to! Let me know what you think! It feels a little weird to put these very personal illustrations out there, to share these experiences with you. But if you find it interesting, I would be happy to continue.

Thanks for your support, I love you guys!

xoxo,

Ragon