PLA Membership Cards (Patreon)

As mentioned in a recent Hobosode, I'm offering the laminated PLA ID cards again, but this time they're only for supporters of the show and they don't cost anything extra. If you want an ID card, you just need to be a $5 or more member on here and I'll mail you one.  To get one, send an email to show@snowplowshow.com with the following information...

1. Do you want a horizonal ID (like in the picture up there) or a vertical ID (like in the picture below)? If you don't specify, you get a horizontal ID. 

2. The name you'd like to appear on the ID

3. The photo that you'd like me to put on your ID. If nothing is specified you'll be a lame cartoon robot that I use as the default image. It doesn't have to be any certain size, but a vertical photo is best, or at least something I can crop to vertical. I size them to about 320x400 for the card.

4. The job title you'd like to appear on the ID. If nothing is specified it will say Situation Room. Other people have chosen things like HoA Enforcement, Security Guard, Pool Boy, Comptroller, Field Agent, Snow Plow Repair, and many others. Be whatever you want to be.

5. Your security clearance level. I suggest 1 thru 10, but you can choose any number or letter or whatever else you want.

6. If you want to change the ID# on the bottom, give me the number you want. Otherwise it'll either be a default number that everyone else has, or just random digits.

7. Include your Patreon name and/or email address, especially if it's different from the email address you're using to email me.

8. Include your full mailing address, including your name and zip code. I know your address is probably on Patreon too, but just do this for me pretty please?

I guess that's it! Only one ID per patron, unless you ask nicely for an extra. If you need a replacement ID card, please try not to ask for one more than once per year. And because of The Real ID Act of 2002, you must destroy your old ID and it will no longer be accepted at any of the 235 PLA locations around the world. Sorry, it's the law.

Be sure to show off your ID cards on social media as much as possible to make non-supporters jealous, then link to this post when they ask where to get one. It's a sure-fire way to get more supporters for the show. The perfect scam. And thanks for supporting the show, everyone!

Thanks, Niko, for forcing me to make IDs again. And thanks, Mr. Biggs, for suggesting that I offer vertical IDs so you can wear them on your track suit like a huge nerd. Below is a picture of Mr. Bigg's ID so you can see what the vertical version looks like.

The pictures above are images of the cards before they are printed. They're folded in half, so the side with the QR code is on the back. Below is what the finished IDs look like after they're laminated. Horizontal style on the left, vertical style on the right.

In case you have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality - these cards are nothing more than a novelty. They won't grant you any special powers, they won't get you out of speeding tickets, there are no PLA retail outlets around the country, there is no PLA HQ in New Mexico. That's not a real chip in the card, it's just a picture of one, and the bar code is most likely meaningless, but maybe it's a phone number or something. I forget.

I originally offered these cards in 2014 to anyone who would buy them, but stopped because it was too time-consuming to keep making them. I've started making them again in 2018, but only for supporters of the show. Thank you for supporting the show and bringing these back!