The Girl in the Big Shirt - Chapter 5 (Patreon)

“She's finally asleep huh?” Mom asks as Luz approaches the little dingy table. Luz sighs and flops down into a chair. Mom tilts her head ever so slightly, but she can’t even care if she’s showing her feelings. They’re so big that she feels like she might just burst.

“God.” Luz says, her voice almost sticking in her throat. “Mom, she… I-I can’t believe she…” Luz pauses and screws her eyes shut. The tears boil over inside, and she covers her face with her hands just as the first sob escapes from between her tight lips. “She asked me to… h-have sex with her.”

“… Jesus.” Mom says. Luz jerks when she feels thin arms wrap around her. Her Mom pulls her into a hug. She finally lets it all out, but she muffles her cries with her hands to not wake Amity.

“How could she say it so easily?” She asks, “She’s six, how could she even know what that’s about?” Her Mom just holds her tighter, and she cards one hand through her hair. It’s soothing, but it can’t stop the pain from welling up in the hole in her heart. “Mom, there’s guns… and bad guys in black SUVs! And Amity’s got a tattoo!? She’s…” Icy dread settles over her body, and her muscles fall slack, though she starts to tremble. “She’s… she’s a tr-trafficking victim right?”

“Yeah, looks that way kiddo.” Mom says gently, “It’s horrible, all of it. She doesn’t realize it’s wrong, and she needs serious help.”

“We’re going to help her right?” Luz whispers, the smell of Eda’s all-natural deodorant reminds her of when she was younger. When Eda was still Mama’s girlfriend, back when the three of them would pile on the tiny little loveseat in Mama’s old apartment. When the world still made sense.

“I’m gonna do my best.” Mom says, “I promise.” Luz frowns and wipes her nose as she pulls away.

“What about me?” she asks. Her heart sinks when Mama looks away and rubs her shoulder.

“You’re going home. This is too much for you.” Eda answers. Luz stares at her Mom, at her tired, world-weary eyes. Mom, for her part, doesn’t elaborate at first. Instead, she just stares at the table while twiddling her thumbs. All at once, pressure builds up inside Luz's chest.

“No.” she says firmly.

“No?” her Mom asks, cocking an eyebrow, frowning at her in that stern motherly way.

“I want to help Amity.”

“Kid, you already have.”

“No Mom, I need to stay with her until I know she’s safe. I need to see this through.” Luz snaps, crossing her arms as her Mom visibly winds up to shut her down. She can’t just fucking, go back and hang out with Willow, not while she knows evil people in black suits are after Amity. She can’t leave her Mom to face all the bad guys alone.

Especially not child predators.

“Luz. This is dangerous shit, we could get killed you know.” Eda says quietly, “Or worse.”

“What could be worse?” Luz replies.

“We may have to kill people.” Her stepmother barely breathes out the answer, and there’s a pallid shadow that falls over her face. It’s drawn, tired, hardened. Luz shivers seeing her Mom look at her so severely, like they’re at a precipice that they can’t see the bottom of and Luz just said she’d dive in head first.

“Kill?”

“Luz. Just trust me. You don’t want any part of this. I got a horrible feeling we’re mixed up with the wrong crowd, and when those kinda people get crossed, folks die. Good folks. Sometimes on one side, usually on both.” as Eda talks, she reaches into the duffel bag. “Why do you even wanna help? Why would you willingly throw yourself off the deep end? I can handle it.”

“I promised I’d help her.” Luz answers simply, “And I know you always told me I could break a promise if things got bad, but I don’t want to break this one.” Her nerves relax, and she finally leans back in her chair. “I can’t let her down Eda, too many people already have.” Mom stares at her, without saying a word. Luz stares right back. She sets her shoulders squarely.

“You need to promise me something.” Eda says quietly.

“What?” Luz asks as she wrinkles her nose.

“If you’re gonna help, you need to promise me that you’ll go back to your normal life when it’s all done.” Mom says, “Promise me you’ll go back to a normal teen life.” Luz cocks her head to the side.

“I promise.” She says, then Mom darts to grab her hand. Something cold is pressed into her palm, cold and heavy. Luz looks down at the revolver Mom’s just put in her hand.

“Don’t get pulled under kid, it’s not worth it.” Mom says. “I love you Luz, there’s no telling what’s gonna happen.”

“I-I’m ready.” Luz says. Eda smiles and ruffles her hair. Luz giggles despite herself, then swallows as she remembers the gun. “Do I… have to?”

“Only if you need to. I know you know how to use it.”

“Yeah. I uh… think I’m gonna have a shower then hit the hay.” Luz says. Mom nods and pulls her into a side hug. Mom kisses her head and squeezes her slightly. Luz gets up and walks across the small motel room. She stops outside the bathroom and looks over at the sleeping girl. Amity’s chest rises and falls so slowly. She looks so peaceful.

Luz sighs, then steps into the dingy old bathroom.

***

Eda glances at the queen bed closest to the window. There are two lumps under the covers, her step-daughter, and the little girl that said daughter found at the bus stop less than 12 hours ago. She sighs. A dull exhaustion seeps through her bones as she turns her focus back to her laptop. She’s got a throwaway email open, the to line reads ddeamone@fbi.gov.us.

Darius,

I know I know, don’t ever contact me again. Listen, it’s an emergency. My daughter picked up a kid, and I’m sure the girl was trafficked. She’s got a branding tattoo and everything. They tried to surround my shop and get her back, and fucking chased us through the city.

It’s a gold triangle with angel wings and a sword.

Please respond. Please.

E.

She blinks slowly, then shuts the laptop. Eda cracks her back, then stands up. The motel room is silent, save for the low hum of the highway outside. She walks over to the remaining empty queen bed. Luz is sound asleep, on her back like she always is. Eda chuckles, there’s a curly tuft of hair resting on her eyelid. Eda brushes it back, careful not to wake her girl up. She remembers those first few dates with Cammy when Luz was small. The kid was afraid of her for exactly twenty-five minutes, though she was still too nervous to talk until their third date.

Eda smiles, then climbs into the second bed. She shuffles a little, getting cozy. Cammy was a young single parent back then, with no family nearby to help. Eda remembers when Cam sheepishly told her that she couldn’t afford a babysitter.

“It’s been tough, paying off the funeral and raising my daughter.” The then young woman had told her.

“No sweat Cam.” Eda mumbles, repeating what she said all those years ago. She was fresh out of prison back then, and she only went to that bar hoping to get lucky. She did, of course, she and Cam took to each other like fish to water. Eda opens her eyes just a little, she can see the lump that is her daughter.

She got lucky that night, that’s for sure. More lucky than she realized. She loves Cammy and Luz. They’re her family.

Muzzles flashed.

Eda grips her oddly starchy blanket hard. Luz isn’t just her wife’s kid. Luz is her kid now. Her daughter. She’s seen the little tyke grow into a slightly awkward, but wonderful teen. She used to be so small, and she’s still so innocent.

Johnny fell beside her, the back of the store painted crimson red.

She hasn’t told Cam the truth. About any of it, and bless Camila Noceda’s beautiful soul, because the woman’s never asked. She says it doesn’t matter what Eda did.

She peeks over the soaked bar, a man stupidly reloads in the open.

Cam says she loves her no matter what happened in the past.

Eda popped up and pulled the trigger of her pistol. One. Two. Three. Down.

That familiar and entirely unwelcome feeling’s back. It’s like she’s received a shock to her nerves, her skin is almost buzzing. And through it all, Luz keeps sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware that her stepmother is a murderer.

She ducks back down just before the remaining bottles on the shelves explode in a shower of glass and booze. Eda drops her mag, reaching for another on her belt only to find that she’s out.

Eda breathes deeply, blinking stinging tears away.

A turquoise-haired person hands her one, a grim smile on their face. She knows that look, she knows it better than anyone alive. No one since their mother, and they buried her four years ago. She knows the expression on their face.

It’s now or never.

It all went wrong for her the first time down in Mexicali. She lost everything. Eda sighs and manages to force her body to relax. That life is long gone, that Eda is dead. She died in max-security prison, serving 20 years for the family. Eda closes her eyes and pulls the second pillow close to her chest.

Or maybe, she died that first time in that flower shop, down in Mexicali.

***

Luz wakes up with a start, she’s staring at an unfamiliar room. The low buzz of a little mini fridge fills her ears. She feels the small mass of a sleeping girl next to her twitch, and it all clicks in her mind. Amity is sound asleep, and Luz leans slightly as soft noise leaves the girl’s mouth. She’s whispering something in her sleep, her little hands squeeze and relax as she dreams whatever it is she’s dreaming about.

Luz rolls back over, facing the covered window. Whatever Amity’s dreaming about, she hopes it’s sweet. She closes her eyes, oddly comfy despite the alarming circumstances. Luz thinks about Willow’s sweet round face as she slowly drifts back to -

Then the front door slams open.

Luz shrieks, Amity yelps, and Mom is up like a shot.

“Nobody move!” A man shouts, he’s wearing all black, along with one of those old plague doctor masks. Two similarly dressed men file in, but it isn’t their strange masks that have Luz’s attention. It’s the shotguns they have leveled at them. “That means you, old bag!” Mom freezes after throwing her hands in the air.

“Luz, Amity, don’t move a muscle.” She orders, her voice is chilled and her scowl could burn a hole in someone’s forehead. The thought of holes in foreheads has Luz clamming up.

“We got her, little runt.” One of them says, kicking the door closed behind them with a combat boot. “Let’s grab them and get outta here, Wrath.”

“No, not yet.” The leader says. He tilts his head before taking his mask off. He has a square jaw and a slightly ashen complexion. He’s bald. His dark eyes rake across Luz, and the intent of the look has her shuddering. He waltzes over to her, chuckling to himself as his friends keep Mom frozen in place. “So you’re the girl who picked up Amity? Gotta say, kid, you’re easy on the eyes.” He says, and Luz’s heart stops when he points his gun right at her. “Get on your knees.” His words are like a thick ooze in her mind, and she doesn’t move a muscle as she tries to decipher them.

“Don’t hurt her!” Mom shouts.

“Shut it, or we’ll blow your brains all over the wall. I’m guessing your… kid? Friend? Whoever wouldn’t like that, would she?”

“Mom?” Luz asks, her voice sounds… distant? Like she’s listening to herself through a few sheets of glass.

“It’s gonna be okay kid.” Mom answers, “Just keep calm, we can work this out.”

“I don’t think so.” Wrath growls. Luz sags as he lowers his weapon. “Guess we need to teach you bitches a lesson.” It happens so fast. Luz grunts as the butt of his shotgun slams into her stomach. She falls to her knees, clutching her body.

“Seriously Wrath?” The rightmost goon asks, “Now?”

“Yes now, shut the fuck up. This one’s too pretty to turn down.” Wrath sneers, lifting Luz’s chin with the barrel of the shotgun. “Alright slut, open your mouth.” Luz is shaking, her entire body is vibrating. Her head is full unintelligible noise. “Open. Unless you want me to end your short little life right the fuck now.” He growls. Luz closes her eyes, still sobbing quietly, an icy dread fills her up when she realizes that this is really happening. She has two choices, and she can’t die here, she has to survive. She hasn’t even told Willow where she is or what’s happening, she can’t die until she checks in with her girlfriend. She can’t die while Amity’s in danger. She has to survive, and so she opens her mouth, sticking her tongue out for good measure. Wrath chuckles, and messes with his belt.

“STOP IT! LEAVE HER ALONE!” Mom shouts.

“Make a move and she’s dead, you old hag.” Wrath warns. He’s got his belt and pants open, and Luz can still feel the cool metal of the barrel press into her throat. She whimpers, not daring to close her mouth even for a Moment.

“Bastards.” Mom growls.

“Heh, you’re next bitch.” Wrath grabs Luz’s hair and tugs. She yelps as a sharp pain blooms in her head. This is it. She’s openly crying now, fear and shame gripping her body in a tight vice. I’m sorry Willow. She thinks to herself, bracing for the inevitable. She just hopes that Willow can forgive her for what’s about to happen.

POP!

Just then an ear splitting noise booms through the room, the sound is so loud it hurts. Luz screams as she’s yanked forward. Her eyes fly wide just as she crashes into the carpet. Before she can even move, she hears more loud bangs. She flinches, curling up tighter in a ball with each one. It’s over in an instant, and the room falls silent. She whimpers but realizes Wrath isn’t grabbing her or pointing his gun at her anymore.

“LUZ!” Mom shouts. A Moment later Mom’s right beside her. Luz manages to push herself to a sitting position just as strong arms wrap around her, “Oh God, I’m so sorry Luz. Are you okay? No, that’s a stupid question, of course you aren’t.” Luz leans into Eda, she tucks her arms against her chest, trying to hide in her Mom’s embrace. After a few moments of sobbing, she looks over her shoulder and sees the three men lying in heaps on the floor. Her body turns to ice as she spots something red oozing from a clean hole in one of their foreheads. “God they got the drop on me, I dunno how they found us. But you’re safe now, I promise.” Mom keeps fussing, hugging, and kissing her head. Luz doesn’t answer, she just curls up and cries louder. Words seem impossible like her tongue is too heavy to shape them if she tried.

She looks up suddenly, terror seizing her as she remembers the actual reason those men were even here. Amity is standing, her legs wide and still. Her little hands clasped around the smoking revolver. The first shot. Luz stands up, and wipes her eyes with her arm.

“Amity? I’m going to take that okay?” She asks quietly, while slowly reaching for the live gun. Amity locks the safety, then hands Luz the gun with practiced ease. She takes it, and just kind of holds it, unsure of what to do.

“He hurt you,” Amity states, “so I stopped him.”

“Good work kids, you both did amazing. But let’s high tail it out of here before more goons find us yeah?” Mom says, already shoving her stuff into her bag. Luz puts the gun down, then turns back to the six year old wearing her shirt. She takes Amity’s little hands in her own, marveling at how such delicate fingers could so effortlessly kill a man without a thought.

“Luz?” Amity asks.

“Your family is pretty rotten huh?” She asks.

“Mhmm…”

“Well… we can be your family now. And family sticks together.” Luz takes a trembling breath in and looks the little girl in the eye before continuing, “Thank you for saving me Ams. I’ve gotta return the favor. I promise you, no matter what happens, I’m going to keep you safe Amity.”

“Promise?” The girl asks, and Luz pulls her into her arms.

“I swear it.” Luz answers, she bites back her terror and shoves her shame into a corner. She can deal with all this shit later. She fucked up tonight, she froze up when it counted and these goons tried to take Amity back to her abusive parents. They tried to rape her. They threatened Mom with guns. She thinks back to the bus stop when she helped Amity without realizing it.

“Come on Amity.” Luz says, standing up. In one hand she’s holding Amity’s hand, and in the other she haMomhe revolver. “Let’s go.”

***

Eda watches as the road races away underneath the car, she's finally made it to the I-5 in this dingy old station wagon. Her mind is racing a mile a minute, she's forming and discarding plans at a breakneck pace. She's got to be able to think of something, anything, something better. The sight of Luz sobbing on the floor with a shotgun in her face is burned into Eda's retinas, the visceral fear of Luz getting hurt is still fresh. It’s like an aching wound, pounding away at her focus and attention. The night is especially dark, there isn't a star in the sky above her as she drives through the empty nothingness of Oregon. There isn't another soul on the highway right now, but maybe that's a good thing.

Luz, for her part, is sound asleep with a little pale auburn haired kid nestled up beside her, both of them sitting in the back. It just didn't feel right to make Amity sit by herself, and Luz cares about the kid a lot. Eda grimaces, and turns her eyes back to the road. Fuck, Cammy’s gonna rip the absolute biggest strip off of her when this is all over. Might even divorce her. Hell, she probably deserves that, after everything she hasn’t told her wife. It's not that she didn't want to, it’s just… how do you even start that conversation?

“Hello Whispers Manor, Emira speaking. How may I help you?” A prim and proper voice chirps out the receiver. Ah, a replacement.

“I need to talk to… Raine.” Eda asks after a Moment of agonizing hesitation.

“I’m sorry ma’am, if you want to reach Mx. Whispers you should-”

“Tell ‘em it’s Eda Clawthorne.” Eda cuts in, her eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror for a Moment. Luz is still fast asleep, peaceful and snoring slightly. This Emira doesn’t answer right away, a few seconds of silence speak so damn loud. She nearly cringes away from the phone, oh the thing’s Raine must have told this girl.

“One Moment please.” Emira says, putting her on hold. The tone beeps endlessly, over and over. Just like the child services helpline. Eda squirms, and readjusts her grip on the wheel. The engine rubles, and the car

“Hello?” A familiar voice says over the receiver. Her heart leaps and she barely suppresses the urge to throw the cell phone out the window.

“H-hey Raine.” She manages to stammer.

“You got a lot of nerve calling, and in the middle of the fucking night.” Raine spits out, and Eda winces. Just like Mexicali indeed.

“Raine, I… I’m sorry for bothering you. I-” her voice finally breaks, “I dunno where else to go. My kids are in big fuckin trouble.”

“...”

“This was a mistake, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone forever now.” Eda says, her words spilling out as quick as she can shove them into the world. She drops the phone from her ear and moves her thumb to the red end call button.

“Your kids?”

She stops, stares at the old flip phone, then slowly brings it back to her ear.

“Yeah.”

“What’s going on?” Raine asks, and their voice is entirely different than before. The warmth Eda used to love soothes her even across all this distance. The Raine she used to know. Shame stings in her throat, she’s being forced into a world she left behind. But… what other option does she have?

“Picked up the youngest yesterday, she’s obviously been trafficked. Got a tattoo on her chest, a gold triangle, point up with a sword and angel wings.” Eda relays the info, and a miasma of dread sets over her. “She says her ‘Mommy’ Is called Wittebane.” Eda hears a sharp gasp, and her heart sinks. “Raine?”

“Come to the Manor immediately.” Raine says, “Guards’ll let you in.”

“Thank you Raine.” She answers, “I-” There’s a clicking noise, and the line goes dead. She swallows and snaps the phone shut with a bitter taste in her mouth. “Right. Okay… Great.” She looks back at her kids, both of them. She already considers Amity her own, she's had a soft spot for strays as long as she's lived.

Ever since she was a little girl when she picked up that scraggly little black kitten with three legs. She misses King a lot. Things were simpler back then.

Lights above give the impression of a slow-paced rave inside the car, with orange light glowing then fading, then glowing, then fading again. Her mind falls silent, and she falls into a flow of driving down the highway. Heading to a place that she hasn't been in 20 years, and she wonders exactly how it's changed.