My Life as A Death Guard (Patreon)

Volume 1 Chapter 6: Increase His Affection!

Location: Hades' rundown house at Hailer Pass.

The morning of the second day after their escape.

Hades stood at the entrance, contemplating how to start a conversation without being misunderstood. With Mortarion's peculiar personality, one wrong word could lead to a grudge held for ten years.

This reminded Hades of his old irksome boss, who had such a twisted mindset that even saying "The printer's out of paper" could be interpreted as an insult.

Why do other time travelers get to fight monsters and level up, while he has to figure out how to chat? 

Well, when under someone's roof, you have to lower your head.

Hades' Chatting 101, commencing now.

He knew Mortarion definitely wanted to talk about something now. All Hades had to do was ask a few simple questions and let Mortarion talk to himself.

"Will those Overlords come down?"

"They will... those bastards, their pitiful lives depend on their so-called authority."

"And now, the so-called waste from the lower levels has trampled on their pride. They won't let this slide."

Mortarion gritted his teeth, looking like he wanted to grab a sword and chop off those Overlords' heads right now.

"Are you planning to face them alone?"

"....."

"The flames of the oppressed burn in the heart of every slave..."

"...Given time, I will ignite the flames of rebellion in everyone’s heart, overthrow these tyrants. Victory will belong to humanity."

Hades shrugged,

"You'll have time."

But... When you finally face your foster father, time will be running out.

"Not necessarily," Mortarion stared intently at the mountains beyond. "My foster father might come for revenge now, but I'm not sure. He's very cunning and won’t act rashly."

In reality, if Mortarion's alien foster father, Necare, chose to take immediate revenge, this little village would be instantly reduced to rubble by a barrage of highly concentrated cannon fire.

Mortarion knew his foster father well. He never took risks. When fighting other Overlords, unless he chose to toy with Mortarion by throwing him onto the battlefield, Necare would typically launch a saturation bombardment on the enemy and then use physic to drive masses of puppets to deplete the enemy's resources.

He never personally entered the battlefield, even though Necare was the strongest sorcerer on this planet.

"So you're waiting for him now, afraid he'll attack the village?"

"...Yes."

"I'm waiting for his revenge. I betrayed him, not you."

"If he comes for revenge, he should come after me, not you."

Uh.. There’s a chance he would come after us too, Hades thought with embarrassment, we did blow up his vehicle after all.

"But we also escaped, right?"

Mortarion glanced down at Hades again.

No choice, Mortarion was too tall, and Hades was too short.

"He won't care about the lower-level..."

But he might slaughter these villagers in front of me to torment Mortarion.

Perhaps he should leave here.

But what if he leaves and his foster father attacks the village afterward?

Hades looked at Mortarion, feeling somewhat mocked. Indeed, as a human, do you remember how many small loaves of bread you’ve eaten?

Of course, he understood Mortarion's concerns were valid. If he hadn't known the script, he would have feared the Overlords attacking too.

But they didn't.

Actually, this was very suspicious, as if intentionally designed to let Mortarion experience human life. And not to mention, in the original story, it was the psyker Typhon who rescued Mortarion.

Actually... this might be...

Stop!

Hades forcefully halted his thoughts; he didn't want to be noticed.

Better to end the conversation. It seemed Mortarion would likely stand here for days, and Hades wasn’t about to try persuading him otherwise.

“Um... the bandage on my left arm, did you redo it or Typhon?”

“I did. Your left arm was festering; without the bandage, it might have needed amputation.”

“Ah, thanks, haha.”

“Big guy, don’t be so serious. Since we escaped, let’s celebrate with a good meal tonight!”

Hades wanted to pat Mortarion's back, like good buddies, to increase his favorability. Then he sadly realized he only reached Mortarion’s waist.

I want to grow taller!

Hades secretly vowed to grow to 2.1 meters and then get the Astartes surgery to reach 3 meters.

But honestly, Mortarion was one of the tallest Primarchs. Even if Hades reached 3 meters, he would still seem short to Mortarion.

Is this the brutal reality of Warhammer?

Hades awkwardly controlled his subconscious urge to pat Mortarion’s back and instead awkwardly rubbed his hands.

“Well, I’ll go get some food. You keep watch.”

On his way back, he saw a fresh horse corpse lying in the field, likely attacked by the Pale Laughers and ran out.

It seemed newly dead, left overnight. It just needs to be given a quick cut, and it would still be edible!

Activate farming and cooking skills!

Hades thought he should hurry before it was gone. He bid a quick farewell to Mortarion and dashed off with a knife.

Mortarion stood there, staring at Hades’ back, puzzled.

What does “thanks” mean? And why are you so concerned about food? 

That night, he found out.

Hades watched the two devouring horse meat skewers by the fire and thought this was just the beginning. If he had more seasonings, he could showcase his ultimate culinary skills!

From the moment he started skewering and lighting the fire, Typhon circled around him. After answering “Are you really going to share?” at least a dozen times, Typhon finally stopped, sitting beside Hades, staring at the grilling meat.

It reminded Hades of his old golden retriever, wagging its tail like crazy whenever he cooked.

Mortarion, standing by the door, couldn't stay calm after smelling the roast meat, but he held his ground, being a warrior, a weapon always ready.

Then Hades said,

“It’s just evening now. If the Overlords attack, it will be around dawn. Better eat something to conserve energy.”

Mortarion took another skewer, thinking silently.

He never knew eating could be so enjoyable. In the past, most of his food was the corpses of his slain enemies. 

Sometimes his foster father would throw him some hard, moldy bread.

But after tasting these juicy, aromatic skewers, Mortarion finally understood why Hades cared so much about “eating.”

He must find a way to get Hades to cook more often.

After the fifty-second delicious skewer, Mortarion firmed up this plan.

As for Hades?

He looked at Mortarion, who was eating silently but with shining eyes, and couldn’t help but think,

Dude, eat less, you’ve already eaten half a horse.

Can primarchs even get full? For a long time, Hades remained curious about this question.

But for now...

He needs to grab some of them! If he doesn't, all the skewers will be gone!

In the end, Hades looked at Mortarion with bright eyes,

“Mortarion, how about you lead us in the uprising? I think you can do it.”