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Heidi Elizabeth Marcum

Monster- Hello! Thank you so, so much for another fantastic reaction, for another of my favorite episodes in this season! I absolutely love, love, love this episode titled... Monster. Once again, this episode showcases Tom Ellis' tremendous talent, as we see him show his dark side, his humorous side, as well as his heartbreak that comes from the devastating guilt he's feeling after having to kill his brother. And his guilt is tormenting and crushing him. It's so heartbreaking. I love seeing this side of Lucifer that so far has been rare, because he bottles all of his pain down inside so deep, that he doesn't even understand or realize what he's feeling most of the time, which is why he is putting himself through therapy with Linda so that he can try to come to understand what he's going through. To understand himself, as well as humanity. And it's really incredible to see these different sides of Lucifer, especially throughout this episode. And we're beginning to see just how Lucifer truly sees himself... as a monster, as is revealed by himself in the very end. And it's heartbreaking, yet beautiful to watch. But I'll come back to all this in a moment... First... this episode begins at a Halloween themed wedding where the bride, groom, and their guests are all dressed up as the living dead, and tragically, a shooter suddenly shoots the groom in his arm, then kills the bride with a single shot to her chest, just as they are announced man and wife. I love that this episode is Halloween themed, and this case throughout I found to be pretty intriguing from the beginning. But more so... I really appreciate the overall idea of Lucifer feeling connected to this man and coming to understand why the sniper feels as he did, given that he believes himself to be a monster in need of being punished as well. I really love and appreciate the overall parallels to Lucifer feeling the same as the sniper does throughout this storyline and how Lucifer comes to recognize this. Lucifer's pain is certainly much deeper, but I love the parallels between the guilt Lucifer is suffering from, and the guilt that the sniper is also suffering from as well. Unfortunately, as Lucifer struggles deeply with his guilt from killing his brother, being unable to deal with his pain and anger in a more healthy manner, he does the only thing he can to try to avoid dealing with it, by going to work with Chloe and immediately begins to act out darkly and irrationally, which as is revealed to us by his mother when she's talking with Amenadiel... is how Lucifer has always dealt with his grief and guilt since he was created. He lashes out instead of talking about it, which are the reasons for why Lucifer rebelled in Heaven and has been doing ever since. He lashes out because he's in so much pain and no one understands him. Amenadiel on the other hand, keeps his grief buried inside, which is also a very common way of dealing with one's pain too. I absolutely love that it's revealed by Lucifer's and Amenadiel's mother when she's talking with her oldest son, that Lucifer acts out through rebellion whenever he's in pain, which is also partly why Lucifer initially rebelled against God through a great rebellion, which as we know... tragically ends with God casting Lucifer out of Heaven and into Hell. And then... it's also beautifully and tragically revealed in the very end through Chloe when she comes as close as she's able to understand why Lucifer has been acting out as he has once she arrests the sniper killing the innocent people. That Lucifer has been acting as he has because he wants to be punished for whatever he's blaming himself for... obviously not knowing that he is acting out because he killed someone close to him. Because he feels he deserves it. All of Lucifer's feelings, all of his actions and how he struggles so deeply with what he's done, are perfect for his character, and it all makes absolute sense. And you can see the devastation, the anger, and the anguish Lucifer is suffering all throughout the episode, whether he's lashing out against Dan and Chloe or their suspects while they're solving the case, or he's just playing his piano inside LUX after he's been thrown off the case for pushing the detectives too far. I absolutely love seeing Lucifer's many sides, and it all coming down to him feeling like he's a monster. Seeing him in so much pain is really heartbreaking, and Tom Ellis shows his emotions so phenomenally. I also love the moment Lucifer snaps at Chloe and Dan in anger at the hospital, as he punches Dan in the face once Dan calls him selfish for only doing what he wants to do, and then tells Chloe that he's acting as he is simply because he's evil, which of course she doesn't believe or understand. Then later, I really love the moment between Lucifer and Chloe inside the hospital just after Chloe arrests the killer, when she tries to get Lucifer to open up to her and to let him know that she's here for him if he would just try to help her to understand what's wrong. Sadly, Lucifer admits that she can't possibly understand what he's going through, because she and no one else will ever truly understand why he has killed his brother and why he acts in all the ways he does because they won't ever believe he is the Devil in spite of all the ways he's been trying to tell them, without going so far as to reveal his Devil face. And it's so sad, because Lucifer is absolutely right. Lucifer facing off against the sniper as he tries to goad the killer into killing him in order to receive the punishment he feels he deserves for all the pain he's inflicted on those he cares about, as well as the moment between him and Chloe afterwards, are a few of my favorite moments throughout this episode. "Every killer must be punished. I'm a monster. I deserve to be punished." These are sadly the thoughts consuming Lucifer's mind and we see just how deeply these words pain him in all of these scenes. They're phenomenally acted and they're so heart wrenching, which brings out my own emotions in the best possible way. I love being able to feel the deep emotions from a character in any show or movie. When you do, you know that the show or movie is well written and beautifully acted. This episode shows this off in spades. This is why I truly love this episode, as well as the ending of the last episode... Weaponizer. And why I love Tom Ellis as an actor so much, because he has this incredible ability to make me feel exactly what I am meant to be feeling at any given time. And this brings me to another of my favorite moments within the very end, when Lucifer finally reveals his Devil face to Linda upon her getting fed up with what she still believes to be all his metaphors about how Lucifer feels towards himself after he tries to talk to her about what he's done and why he's lashing out and so broken. This is a brilliant scene and moment, because at last Lucifer proves to someone that he truly is the Devil. Tragically, the revelation ends very badly, when Linda freezes out of pure fear and Lucifer simply stands up so he can leave her office without a word, once again feeling devastated because he's just frightened and hurt yet another person he deeply cares about by revealing his monstrous side to her. And you can see that he's ashamed and afraid he won't ever see her again because she won't want anything to do with him again. Lucifer's face is once again... heartbreaking. And of course I feel badly for Linda too. She's absolutely terrified. Although, to be fair to Lucifer, Linda insists on him proving the truth to her. So, he isn't really to blame for her fear either. At least not in a bad way, given that he didn't reveal himself out of anger or selfishness. All he longed for was to talk with someone who could completely understand him and help him through his pain because they truly know him, and yet this tragically backfires on him. And unfortunately, Lucifer doesn't see that he didn't hurt Linda out of selfishness. All he's gained is even more guilt for hurting someone else he cares deeply about, and all he believes is that he's an even bigger monster than he was beforehand. I feel so bad for Lucifer because he's suffering so much, and yet he can't talk to anyone about what he's really going through, least of all Chloe, because no one can understand the truth about him. No matter how many times he's told Chloe, Dan, Linda, and everyone else that he's the Devil, no one believes him and because of this, he can't share his true feelings. And when he finally takes the chance to do so with Linda and completely opens up to her by showing her his Devil face, he fears he's broken her, which he very well may have done. It's so, so sad. And he can't hurt Chloe or make her afraid of him. Revealing the truth to Chloe and her becoming afraid of him and coming to hate him should he do so would absolutely break him beyond repair. One thing I absolutely love as well... is how Lucifer leaves the door to Linda's office open slightly, which shows that he had heard her earlier when Linda had come to LUX to check on him and told him that her door would always be open to him, until Lucifer coldly retorts that she can just feel free to shut it because he doesn't plan to ever come back to see her again. Lucifer leaving the door open as he leaves her office shows that he's willing to let her try to help him if she can get past her fear of him. This is just such a beautiful metaphor for how they're both feeling now that he's afraid Linda won't want to see him ever again after revealing his Devil face to her. I love it!! Now... some of the funniest moments throughout this episode are first, when Chloe confronts Lucifer at the crime scene in the beginning when he shows up disheveled and about as drunk as he can possibly get in spite of his "pesky supernatural metabolism" keeping him from getting drunk. Then later when Chloe, Lucifer, and Dan are at the hospital and Lucifer hugs Dan to steal his badge and gun and uses the badge to get the files the detectives need for their case just before he then punches Dan in the face once the situation becomes heavy. I also really love the scenes between Amenadiel and Charlotte as well. I like learning a little more about Amenadiel as their mother talks about her children growing up, in order to help her oldest son to open up and to let out his own grief for the loss of his brother, after which he reveals that he's begun to turn against their father just as Lucifer has. And while all of this is sad, I really love that Amenadiel finally has begun to see the kind of heartbreak and pain that Lucifer has felt since before he was even cast out of Heaven and forced to become a torturer in Hell. I can only imagine that by him learning the truth behind how Lucifer has really been feeling for eons, it will help Amenadiel to truly get closer to his brother in time. And while I believe Charlotte is truly trying to help her oldest son grieve and to feel better, there's also a part of her I feel is trying to manipulate Amenadiel as well so that he'll come to feel anger towards his father as well. I believe you've hit the nail right on the head, Magy. Because you're right that the Goddess certainly has ulterior motives. Just like she's only fed on Lucifer's anger and hatred towards their father too, in order to heighten his hatred of him for her own plans. And she most certainly has succeeded. Not good, but so interesting for sure. And the lighting surrounding the tree above Uriel's grave and seeing it shine down upon his grave is absolutely beautiful too. Showing us that God is most likely looking down on his son and wife at this time. Just like we see from the bright lighting seen inside LUX while Lucifer is breaking down while playing the piano. Possibly showing us that God may be looking down even on Lucifer in this moment too. Brilliant touch. Oh... and I love the moments while Lucifer is playing The Unforgiven by Metallica on his piano, while Lucifer falls that much deeper into his darkness as he's about to come undone, and when Amenadiel finally comes around to admitting he's done trying to be the perfect son for his father after having listened to his mother's words. These scenes are so beautifully acted out while being unveiled through this deep and heartbreaking song being played beautifully by Lucifer on the piano. A song that matches how Lucifer currently feels about himself because he feels he is unforgiven by all of those closest to him and especially unforgiven in the eyes of his father, mother, brother, and the rest of his siblings too. This piano music as Lucifer plays this song is very haunting. And I absolutely love it!! :) The parallels between the characters and what's going on within the cases Chloe, Lucifer, and Dan work to solve every episode are fantastic. I absolutely love seeing the parallels, especially between Lucifer and this sniper within this episode. It's really fantastic. And lastly... I really enjoy Maze's and Trixie's storyline as they go tick 'or treating together, and seeing Maze show her demon face to Trixie, who actually thinks it's really cool. While Trixie may not know that Maze really is a demon and that Lucifer really is the Devil, I do suspect that she would still be okay with them, given that children are more understanding, and can see people for who they really are when adults can't. And besides, she really cares about Maze and Lucifer, and she knows they're good in spite of what they are. Also... I really love and appreciate how Trixie's acceptance of Maze's demon face in spite of her not knowing the truth about her being a demon, is a stark and brilliant contrast to Linda being unable to accept Lucifer's Devil face. I'm happy for Maze, and so sad for Lucifer. Overall... this is a phenomenal episode and I truly loved watching your reaction for it. I'm so happy you're continuing to enjoy this show that I love so much. So, thank you once again, my friend! Like always, I can't wait for many more reactions for Lucifer to come!! Until then... Thank you! Sincerely, Heidi