Himeouji 22 (Patreon)

Sequel Intermission 2 - Kitabayashi Ayaka’s Determination

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Entering highschool, the shock when she saw him――Himeouji Ryou――in the classroom, was vivid.

With his beautiful face, refined and elegant demeanor and slender silhouette, he is truly worthy of being called a prince.

The atmosphere he exudes is delicate, and in fact he seems to be physically weak and was unable to attend physical education, but this also tickled her desire to protect him, and Ayaka fell for him at first sight.

And it is not only his look that is good, but his personality is also sincere and his heart is kind.

Her childhood friend Yuuma was a little blunt and difficult to understand, but he also was far kinder than other boys of his age.

However, this is something that she can feel because Ayaka is his childhood friend, and to put it plainly, she doesn’t think it’s a kindness that would be accepted by everyone.

In contrast, Himeouji's kindness is easy to understand and, moreover, he cares at the perfect timing, so no one needs to understand his intentions.

It's okay to let him do as he pleases while being spoiled by his kindness――if this is called being treated like a princess, then he is indeed a prince.

Like the other girls who were clamoring, Ayaka was completely ecstatic, and within a few days of meeting him, she was genuinely attracted to him.

That's why Ayaka told him――her childhood friend Hanyuu Yuuma.

[——I found someone I like. That's why I can't stay with Yuuma anymore. I don't think I'll talk to you from here, so will you do that too?]

In hindsight, that was the beginning of the breakdown.

◇

When Ayaka heard that Himeouji had been arrested for molestation and had settled it out of court with money, she felt betrayed by him.

Although he denied committing the crime itself, the fact that it was settled out of court meant that he needed to settle it out of court because it was true.

If he was falsely accused, he should just insist on it and fight it out.

Ayaka at that time truly thought that.

She was blind to the reality that even if the crime of molestation was actually a false accusation, it was overwhelmingly in the victim's favor.

There was also the fact that due to the progress of  the legal system, she thought that the damage caused by false accusations had almost disappeared.

Due to these circumstances, Ayaka naturally distanced herself from Himeouji.

When even the popular Nishina Miu and the student council president Toujou Hibiki took such an attitude, Himeouji immediately lost his credibility.

Thus——at the same time, it marked the end of the dream.

…

With her feelings for him cooling off and the fever dream sensation subsiding, Ayaka's emotions were closer to her pre-high school self.

Just like back then, before she met Himeouji——when she had faint feelings for Yuuma.

At the time of enrollment, Ayaka was worried about her relationship with Yuuma.

She did have feelings for him, but the existence of a rival called Toujou Hibiki made Ayaka hesitate to confess.

Ever since middle school, she has felt that Yuuma and Senpai have mutual feelings, and that feeling made her turn away from her own feelings.

It wasn't that she didn't want to fight a losing battle or anything like that, but she couldn't bring himself to tell Yuuma her feelings when his attention was focused on someone other than herself.

I’m not the one who's at fault, it's the two of them who don't get together quickly enough――.

Using such a selfish statement as an excuse, Ayaka turned her attention not to Yuuma, but to Himeouji.

In other words, it was a form of escape――though, perhaps now is the time to face her feelings of that time.

In any case, the current situation is very different from back then.

The biggest one is, of course, the relationship between Yuuma and Toujou Hibiki.

Student council members have the power to appoint one new student who would not normally be able to become a member as an assistant.

Yuuma apparently approached Toujou-senpai about it, but she rejected him because she had already chosen Himeouji.

The relationship between Yuuma and Senpai was completely cut off with that.

It meant that, even if Ayaka has feelings for Yuuma here, nothing would get in her way.

(Well, I also said ‘I’m going to keep my distance’――or something like that though…)

She was the one who drew the line, but unlike Toujou-senpai's rejection, Yuuma didn't show any kind of feelings toward her.

Ayaka believed that if she was the one who approached him, they would be able to return to the relationship they had before, although it wouldn’t be immediately.

She had already decided on the reason for calling out to him.

Lately, Yuuma has been going to and from school with Himeouji, and being with him during breaks. Anyway, he has been mingling with him a lot.

She doesn’t know what his intention is, but if Yuuma is ignorant of the circumstances, she could stop him and close the distance by telling him the truth.

(Really, I don't know why it happened all of a sudden... but it's my job as his childhood friend to stop him here.)

Ayaka thought that out of goodwill from the bottom of her heart at that time――.

…

That's why his words were so shocking.

[Well——there's no way you’d be getting closer to another man just because you saw Himeouji in that kind of situation right?. If it is, you’d be pretty loose.]

(――Eh? That’s a lie right? Because, I… that’s, that’s not what I…)

It’s not like she wanted a romantic relationship or anything like that immediately, she didn’t even think about such a selfish thing.

As an excuse, she tried to give Yuuma some advice, purely thinking about him, since her head didn't work for some time.

But, if he said it like that, it doesn't look that way――no, wrong.

The fact that he saw it that way is already fatal.

She realized how her objective appearance looked like the first time it was said to her.

A chill ran down her spine as she felt Yuuma’s disdainful gaze.

She couldn’t believe that a childhood friend that she was who, more than anyone else, knew about him――about his past, would treat him like that.

The reason Yuuma's parents divorced was because of his mother's infidelity――an unfaithful act.

She shoved that out right in front of his eyes as her own action.

“T-that’s not… Yuuma, listen… you see――”

“Didn’t I say not to call me by my name, Kitabayashi-san?”

She didn’t think they were able to communicate properly about the name.

There is no doubt that he used to call her Ayaka――and yet he spoke as if they had called each other by their surnames.

While she was confused by those words, Yuuma turned his back on Ayaka and the others.

His younger sister, and another childhood friend of Ayaka, Miu, called out to him, but he didn't look back.

“Hanyu… Onii-chan, why…”

“Maybe, Himeouji-kun has grabbed a hold of his weakness or something…”

After saying that to Miu, Ayaka abruptly felt an electric current running through her mind.

That girl just now, she called him Hanyuu.

That was proof that she was estranged from Yuuma and called him that.

And she herself――she has almost no recollection of having a proper conversation with Yuuma while she was into Himeouji.

But maybe once, or twice?

She wondered what she called him when she told him about their class――.

(――Ah, aaa… wrong, I… I didn’t, mean to…)

Ayaka remembered that the message matter happened while she was talking to Himeouji.

Because she was in front of him, so that her relationship with Yuuma wouldn't be discovered, she must have acted curtly and called him.

Hanyuu-kun――like that.

She doesn't know what to say, she wanted to slap her past self.

“Ah, Ayaka-chan? What's wrong, your complexion is…”

“No, it's nothing... I’m fine, that’s why…”

Although she answered like that, she can even hear the sound of her blood being drained away.

That’s far from just trying to keep her distance a little.

Not only did she abandon Himeouji and switch her heart to Yuuma, didn’t she actually already do the worst betrayal by cutting off her relationship with him?.

Toujou Hibiki wasn't the only one who destroyed their former relationship.

(I too… also, even Miu… what should I do, what should I do what should I do――)

She couldn’t think of any way to improve it from here on, but if there's one possibility, it would be about the relationship between Yuuma and Himeouji.

Whether he got a hold of his weakness, or if he got deceived, if there was some sort of evil circumstances that forced the two of them to be together, if she can save Yuuma from that, perhaps――.

(T-that’s, right… yes… even Himeouji-kun who I thought was kind turned out to be a molester――)

If she exposes his hidden face, Yuuma will surely open his eyes.

Once he understood that they were in the same position, their relationship will be restored.

As expected, even Ayaka felt that it was a leap, an overly wishful thinking.

However, at that time, Ayaka could only keep her composure by believing in the nonexistent possibility.

…

However, reality is ruthless.

In conclusion, Himeouji didn't have a hidden face.

◇

Even if she exposed his hidden face, what would she do――.

She tried asking the people around her and tried to listen to Yuuma and Himeouji’s conversation to see if there were any clues there, but she didn't find any clues and just wasted her time.

Then, a few days passed――and the situation on campus was irrevocably shaken up by the massive media coverage of his alleged crime, in which it was proven to be a false accusation.

A large number of students and teachers――of course that includes Ayaka, Miu, and Hibiki too, everyone noisily apologized over and over again.

Although he listened to them, Himeouji did not give them the forgiveness they wanted.

[——I will despise you from the bottom of my heart for the rest of my life.]

His voice was unlike anything she had heard from him before, it was so cold that it made her shiver and even seemed like it would  freeze her heart.

She realized that she had made all the wrong choices in everything, but she can no longer do anything about it.

Ayaka can only be dumbfounded as she stared at Yuuma and Himeouji, because, although they are close by, their relationship seemed so far away that even her voice no longer reached them.

Both their attitudes and their conversations have a natural familiarity, as if they were friends since childhood.

Only Yuuma's kindness could have healed his wounded heart.

I was the only one who knew——Ayaka was ashamed from the bottom of her heart because she felt conceited for thinking that.

She didn’t need to consider the intention of Yuuma’s kindness.

Always just, always be there for them, but never spoil them——that's all it was.

How precious it was and how much it supported her.

It’s not something that can be comprehended with simple words such as losing it and finally realizing it.

(Yuuma was right and we were wrong… only Yuuma understood——)

How good a judge of character he is.

No——it could be said that precisely because he didn't have one, he suffered the misery of being betrayed by ignorant people like themselves.

In any case, what is certain is that both Yuuma and Himeouji have gone beyond their reach.

And that, they have to carry this regret with them forever.

…

The life of apologizing to the two of them once a day continued from then on.

She knew she was exhausted, and it was probably only a matter of time before her parents realized what she had done――although she didn't think so.

Perhaps because they could see Ayaka's state of exhaustion, they both didn't admonish her again, but she was aware of their despondency and disappointment even if they didn't say it.

She was so sorry that she was going to apologize to Yuuma――so Ayaka asked her parents to let her accompany them, but they didn’t allow her to do so.

[If we take you along, they will think that we came to make peace with them. We must not hurt Yuuma-kun's heart any further, do you understand?]

Of course――the stupidity of trying to accompany them so easily without thinking about anything is even more pathetic.

The fact that she has even inconvenienced her parents also makes Ayaka's stomach churn.

Even though they were a friend of Yuuma's father, they have to make the worst possible apology by saying that their daughter caused his friend's son to suffer the same pain that his friend suffered.

Surely, both Yuuma and his father would tell her parents that they don't have to worry about it.

In reality, however, that is not the case.

Her repeated dishonest behavior has resulted in the wounds of the past resurfacing, and Ayaka becomes even more inconsolable.

(T/N: I don’t get it. What does that sentence mean? The translation should be correct, but I still can’t understand the connection between this paragraph and the ones above it.)

Conversations with her parents have decreased and she even felt like she had lost her place in her house.

◇

The only way to get out of such a terrible situation is to ask him for help.

With that thought in mind, Ayaka began to approach and talk to Yuuma even more aggressively than before.

Himeouji was always by his side, and he showered her with a cold gaze——or perhaps a hostile gaze, but she had no choice but to put up with it.

Ayaka at that time already did not care much about her relationship with Himeouji

Of course, she feels regretful to him, and she has to apologize for that——but he surely won't forgive her.

She has already apologized, but he made it clear that he won’t forgive her.

If that was his intention, then he would continue to hold a grudge against her, and hate her, and she would just have to endure his gaze.

If she had the chance to make amends, she would do it, but as he has no desire to do so, there is nothing she can do but apologize.

But――only her relationship with Yuuma, she wanted to improve it somehow.

She knows all too well how many mistakes she has made.

She also knows how rare and precious the existence of him, which she had let go of, was.

No matter what Himeouji thinks of her, she has to reconcile with Yuuma.

With that as a trigger, what Ayaka thinks of was milestone events such as Christmas or perhaps New Year’s holiday.

However, it's only been about a month since the incident. Even if she invited him to such a meeting, there was no way that he would respond with an agreement.

Just a little longer――preferably another month or so.

It would be rude if she didn’t put in at least that much time as a cooling-off period.

The new year started, around one month later, that day arrived――

In the wake of Valentine's Day, in order to regain her relationship with him.

◇

[How much of a shock do you think I received at that time? Do you think it's the same as what you guys are feeling now?]

The words Yuuma said were still stuck in her ears.

That was over ten minutes ago――.

Even though Yuuma was no longer in front of her, his expression and words had been squeezing Ayaka for quite a while.

(...I guess that was obvious huh. What I did wasn't just betraying Yuuma.)

In the depths of his heart, lies pain and anguish that he could not do anything about――.

There is no doubt that they have been unraveling them, giving him deep pain and suffering.

How can she, the one who inflicted the pain――the perpetrator, not be bothered just because Yuuma showed no sign of caring?

Even though she knew it would have hurt him.

Even though she had to apologize and showed her intention to reflect from the bottom of her heart.

Why――did I give priority to being forgiven?

(I was spoiled... No, I'm still being spoiled. By Yuuma――)

Yuuma has been treating her kindly, watching her over, patiently waiting for her, it has accumulated since their childhood.

She was spoiled because she was too accustomed to such a natural environment.

Somewhere in her heart, she thought that surely, it would be the same this time.

The result of that, is this sorry state――.

Yuuma was not crying.

But――in his heart, he was crying out loud.

Not only just now, but all the time, all the way from a year ago.

He cried, endured it, and suffered.

In such a situation, he is kind enough to help someone who might hate him, earning his full trust――that was Hanyuu Yuuma.

To be hated so much by such a person――.

(Really, I’m an idiot... doing such an irreversible thing――)

Miu and Hibiki, who were with her, were also stunned.

In particular, Hibiki's reaction was quite considerable.

Who would she hate――her past selves, most likely.

With extremely angry eyes, she stares at the floor at her feet and bites her lip.

She doesn’t know about Miu.

She was expressionless like a Noh mask and had a somewhat dangerous atmosphere.

She wondered whether she should start talking to her――but Ayaka has her hands full with herself.

(...He told me, not to talk to him, right?)

Until now, she has been able to make contact with an apology at least once a day.

Now that he has rejected it, if she calls out to him, it might make him increasingly disillusioned.

She was thinking――tomorrow, she doesn’t need to do an apology that has become a penance and drive herself into a corner out of regret.

The idea itself is shallow, but at this point, there is no choice but to take it as is.

Once she has a bit of leeway, she can think about a new policy on what she should do in the future.

Yes, from now on――in one more year of high school, in order to face him again.

“...Senpai, what are you going to do?”

With Hibiki graduating next month, it will no longer be possible to repair their relationship.

However, as she was intelligent, it seems that she will do something about it.

When Ayaka questioned her, Hibiki closed her eyes for a moment, but eventually turned toward her and smiled weakly.

“...I’m not going to give up. Because there’s nothing else I can do.”

One month remaining――far from that, it was less than two weeks.

Does she intend to make some kind of appeal to Yuuma, even if only for that period of time?

No, this is her she was talking about.

She may be planning something to keep in touch with Yuuma after graduation.

(But… that’s, how it is, right?――)

Not giving up is the important mindset.

He told her not to talk to him or approach him, but if they were in the same grade, there was a chance that they would be in the same class again.

This would give her more opportunities to call out to him, for example, for a message, and be in a position where he can see her and take notice of her.

(...I won't make a mistake this time...Yuuma)

First of all, she should reflect――she didn't take his feelings into consideration, she has to improve from that.

It's painful to just wait, but she would suppress that feeling and stay quiet, hoping that he will look at her.

When the time comes, she won’t hesitate anymore.

How she feel about Yuuma and what she want it to be――

That feeling――the feeling she had for him for a long time.

Let him know and give her a chance to make amends.

Not to ask for forgiveness, but only to heal his heart.

She will devote her whole life to him.

(Because――I’ve been in love with Yuuma, since a long time ago.)

With the realization that came too late etched deep in her heart, Ayaka resolved herself.

For his sake, she will continue waiting――walking the path of suffering.

Of course, whether that feeling is conveyed is another matter.

――――

(T/N: Caught up. The last chapter was released in August 2022, the chapter before that, April 2022. There probably won’t be a new chapter released in the future, but, if a new chapter was released, I probably won’t translate it. It depends on whether I’m still interested in the story or not.)

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