Himeouji 15 (Patreon)

Sequel Intermission 1 - Toujou Hibiki’s Regret

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What went wrong——probably everything.

Toujou Hibiki sat at her desk with eyes like a dead fish, sorting out the piled up work in a rather aggressive manner, while constantly thinking about such things in the corner of her head.

Hibiki didn't think she was the type to lose herself in love, and in truth, even after entering high school she actually spent a student life like that.

However, in the depths of her heart, there is a face of a boy that she holds dear.

One year younger than her, who used to be her right-hand man in the middle school student council and even took over from her, the junior she relied on, who was important to her——more than anyone else, Hanyuu Yuuma

Hibiki was welcomed onto the committee as an assistant when she entered high school, and was elected as an executive the following year. She was thinking that if Yuuma entered the school, she would immediately make him an assistant.

That’s what she intended to do, but——

(Why... why did I make that choice... why did I say something like that...)

She recalled her behavior, which can only be explained by being possessed by a demon, and deeply regrets it.

“——President, what's wrong? It has ended right?”

“Nn… ah, yes… that’s, right… good work, everyone.”

Without realizing it, the piled up paperwork had been cleaned up, and it was safe to assume that the work would be finished by the end of the year.

Nevertheless, that, too, was brought about by her own negligence.

In the first place, it was highly unusual for a third year member to still be sitting on the committee even after the winter break.

In fact, the other third years have long since retired, and now the people who have been appointed as assistants are doing the grunt work to gain confidence for the next year's elections.

The reason why Hibiki is still working as a member is that the recommendation  for her has been decided, and that she was taking responsibility for expelling her own assistant, Himeouji, because of the false accusation.

Of course it’s not just that, she was also taking responsibility for neglecting a lot of work because of the shock she received from the false accusation incident and the circumstances surrounding it.

(I made a mistake… about the false accusation, and about everything else…)

By the time she finished getting ready to leave and locked up the doors and windows, all the remaining assistants had gone home.

In the cold air of a winter evening, the fact that she had no choice but to return home alone and lonely, was nothing but reaping what she sowed.

The sight of her abandoning her job to frequently visit a male junior must have looked ridiculous to the other juniors.

There is no junior who will forgive her for being the cause of the busyness, just because she finally made up for it by taking it seriously this month.

The fact that such a person has already been recommended for admission to higher education must be infuriating not only to her juniors but also to the people of the same grade.

No one actually said that to her face, but in Hibiki's heart, she described herself that way.

Far from being the best of all time, she was the worst student council president——nothing more than a lazy figurehead.

…

“Toujou——if we start now, as expected, it’s difficult.”

“...I see. Thank you very much.”

In the staff room where she was headed to before going home, she bowed her head after hearing such words from the teacher who was serving as the adviser of the student council.

She had approached the school to see if she could still turn down the recommendation for admission right now, but this was refused by the school.

One reason is that, even considering the situation in the school that was moving at a dizzying pace and her own actions, Hibiki was not considered to be responsible.

The other reason was that the school didn't approve of the fact that once the recipients of the recommendations refused, the juniors from next year onward would not be able to receive them.

(...Of course they would. Maybe instead of rejecting the recommendation, it would be better to leave a good grade for atonement.)

Being forced to sit on such needles somehow lightens her feelings of guilt.

Nevertheless, Hibiki's regrets never run out.

Why did she end up betraying him——

She really can only say that she was possessed by a demon.

◇

Hibiki found out about him——about Himeouji Ryou at the entrance ceremony.

At a small ceremony organized by the student council, she had the opportunity to meet him face to face and exchange a few words with him, who has the best matriculation grade.

His looks and demeanor are simply beautiful, and even Hibiki, who had no regard for ordinary boys, was completely charmed by him.

After the entrance ceremony ended safely, including the small ceremony——Hibiki cooperated with the other members and invited him to the student council room.

It wasn't without the desire of trying to ascertain his qualities, but the purpose was only a casual interaction, and they didn't particularly bring up the work of the student council.

Despite this, he made accurate points about their work at every turn, and was unafraid to open up a vigorous debate even with the student council president at the time.

If we invite him to join the student council, how much contribution will he make——

Once Hibiki thought this in her head, Yuuma was no longer in her mind.

Although it is thoughtless to judge people by their appearance, it is nevertheless better to be good-looking.

In that regard, Himeouji is top class even within the academy.

And he's smart, and has practical ability——he was even right next to her as her assistant.

Even if someone told her she would be blinded in such a future, she wouldn’t be able to reply.

Himeouji, who was scouted shortly after, willingly agreed to become her assistant, and Hibiki was completely elated.

Hibiki was so obsessed with him that even she herself couldn't believe that she used to be unfamiliar with love and uninterested in boys.

It was then that Yuuma finally came to the student council room.

[Oh, it’s you——do you need something? We have enough members, we don't need you anymore.]

Those words, even now——no, maybe it would be more correct to say, especially now.

Even the slightest awareness of those words clearly and loudly refrained in her brain, resulting in Hibiki being tormented by fear, as if her heart had been held tight in an eagle grip.

A chill ran down her spine as she was questioning what the hell had she said.

But——at the time, she did not hold such regrets.

She found him shameless and unpleasant when he barged in with a face like an old boyfriend and asked to be an assistant.

It might even go well with Himeouji——

Hibiki, who had envisioned such a future, turned Yuuma away with harsh words, telling him not to get in the way.

Even his face, overcome with terrible shock, felt well deserved to her.

…

It was no longer possible for her to make excuses using words such as ‘something was wrong with me.’

It would be an extreme betrayal of the lowest order against humanity.

Even now, Hibiki can't even imagine how he must have felt after more than a year spent like that.

Such a person shouldn't even be allowed to think about him, much less seek him out after all this time——when she has lost everything.

She thought of Himeouji as an idol, so to speak.

The person she really liked, the person she wanted to be by her side, was Hanyuu Yuuma.

With what face and what mouth could she say that she finally realized that?

But——what was truly horrifying is that she had, in fact, said that.

Yuuma treated her with cold eyes, showered her with scornful words, and almost made her break down in tears, even though she has no qualification for that.

The fact that his anger was directed not at betrayal toward him, but at the betrayal toward Himeouji, made Hibiki feel even more miserable.

I don't even think about you any more——.

Feeling like she was being told that, the little bit of pride she had left was completely crushed.

Even though she knew she deserved it, Hibiki was not bold enough not to be shocked when it was laid bare to her.

All she can recall are memories of their middle school days.

They stood side by side, there were times where they quarreled, but they still worked together for the sake of their common goal, and upon achieving it, they felt a sense of exhilaration.

At the time, she thought it was fulfillment because of their success, but it's actually different.

Doing things together, exchanging words of gratitude, smiling at each other——.

Every single casual act with Yuuma shook Hibiki's emotions and made her heart warm.

Because, surely——since that time, she was in love with Yuuma.

◇

It wasn't until some time after hearing that Himeouji had been arrested on suspicion of molestation and she banished him, that Hibiki became aware of these feelings.

That's why whenever she thinks of Yuuma, those times also cross her mind.

When she first heard the rumor, it was truly a complete shock to her ears.

However, if you ask her if she immediately believed it, she would say not.

She would have dismissed that kind of foolishness, worked as usual, and waited for Himeouji to come.

However——he didn’t come.

After scrutinizing the information, it was revealed that the rumor was spread by a student who simply heard the teacher being contacted in the staff room and brought it up among his friends.

It seems that rumors spread all over the school before she knew it, either through word of mouth or through the flow of talking about the story they overheard.

The fact that Himeouji was absent that day and that he received a summon from the staff room when he arrived at school another day also added credence to the rumor.

Above all, what clinched it was the words of denial he uttered.

It was true that he was detained, but it was a false accusation, however he brought it to a settlement out of court——.

He told them this only once, after a number of students had asked him what had happened.

However, those words created a lot of speculation and misunderstandings, and combined with the malice he had accumulated without realizing it, he was labeled as the worst.

The fact that the student did not correctly recognize the reality in the matter was also a major disaster.

With regards to cases of false accusation of molestation, several laws have been developed about it, and it is generally recognized that false accusation cases have decreased because only these have been reported.

But, that is a huge mistake.

In reality, it is said to be extremely difficult to prove false accusations, and the reality is that many men still avoid lawsuits by means of out-of-court settlement.

However, the students judged the incident solely by the image, and thought that the case of Himeouji, who had reached a settlement not through the court, was not a false charge.

In fact——they don't know why he didn't fight in court.

It seems clear now, in retrospect, that there were circumstances, but at the time no one doubted his criminal act.

For them, rather than protecting the student and fighting with public opinion, accepting the public opinion and sacrificing one student would be less risky and take less effort.

In any case, it was not possible to leave him as a member with such an image attached to him.

Therefore, it was unavoidable——if one were to say that, Hibiki's responsibility would become smaller.

However, the reality is different.

She had betrayed once again.

She hated the junior she was supposed to adore because of the surrounding voices and wrong understanding, and voluntarily kicked him out.

[I didn't think you were that kind of person——I misjudged you, Himeouji.]

…

Was she such a prejudiced and easily swayed person?

Whenever she recalls her two mistakes, Hibiki looks back on them and laughs at herself.

(I wonder, no——I guess that's just the kind of person I am…)

Imagining a future with Himeouji, she became intoxicated with it and betrayed Yuuma.

Swayed by the voices and impressions of those around her, she hated Himeouji and betrayed him.

Doesn't that fact make her realize her true nature?

After she had driven out Himeouji, she was terribly afraid of being seen by the surrounding people as someone who had that kind of person as her assistant.

She can’t make mistakes anymore, unless she makes the right choice——

At the height of exhaustion and confusion, what came into Hibiki's mind was the face of the junior she once betrayed——Yuuma.

The way she had treated him was already somewhat of a hazy memory, and rather than feeling guilty or sorry, all she had left was the expectation that he would extend a helping hand to her.

I'm sure he's angry, but if I apologize, he'll no doubt understand——.

Clinging to such a selfish hope and was abandoned easily, it can only be said as unsightly.

No matter what she says, Yuuma will never believe her.

Shuddering at this revelation, she was so shocked that he almost collapsed, and finally, she understood her own feelings.

That she loved him more than anyone else.

She realized how much Yuuma had supported her, and the reality without him seemed so empty that she had no motivation to do anything.

No matter how much she calls out to him, he won't come back.

By being rejected by him, Hibiki realized her sin and continued to spend futile hours filled with regret.

At the end of it, she was confronted with the truth that Himeouji, who she had banished, had been found clean and innocent.

The moment she saw the report, Hibiki's head went blank, and she was struck by the feeling that all the realities she had believed in until now were collapsing.

◇

Their apology to Himeouji was, of course, not accepted.

No, the apology itself was heard, but no one received the forgiveness that many had expected.

Himeouji, who completely rejects the people around her, opens up solely to Yuuma.

That should come as no surprise.

Only Yuuma correctly recognized the right thing to do, and remained to be his ally.

Sadly, she even denied Yuuma’s action in front of their eyes, so she was already beyond saving.

Strangely enough, however, the lack of forgiveness from Himeouji was not so painful for Hibiki.

She was genuinely sorry, and she will gladly comply if she was asked to make amends, but what she truly wants is not Himeouji’s trust.

There at his side, smiling only at him——Yuuma's trust was the only thing that Hibiki couldn't stop wanting.

…

(What if——imagining such things is too pointless, but…)

Even so, she ended up thinking about it.

What if, Himeouji wasn’t placed as his assistant——.

What if, she just scouted Yuuma——

What if——at that time, she had not refused Yuuma’s application.

What if——she realized her feelings earlier, and told Yuuma how she felt when they were in middle school.

Surely, everything would go well, and maybe Yuuma would be next to her by now——.

…

(Wrong… it’s wrong, wrong! Not yet, no… I, won’t give up——)

He said that if she’s not there, he'll think of being a member.

Whether he becomes one or not, she doesn't want to squash just the possibility.

If he joins the committee and inherits the foundation she left behind, it will remain a definite connection with him.

The odds are close to zero, but she doesn't want to disappoint him if it comes down to it.

Her feeling of wanting to take responsibility is not a lie, but——.

The reason why she still remains as a member of the board is surely because she wants to do everything in her power to leave behind a decent student council committee for him.

(I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do, it's not something to be praised for——but even so, somewhere... I want you to look at me...)

Not having Yuuma next to her is already even more painful.

However, when she thought that he might be watching, her motivation to work increased.

Just looking at that figure and dreaming of having him fall in love with her makes her feel like she’s going to heaven.

(I really do like you… I can't help it, you're the one…)

No matter how foolish she was, no matter how she was already rejected, she couldn't give up on her dream of becoming his lover.

So far, she has not heard that Yuuma has decided a partner

As a result of the incident, he has rejected everyone who was hostile to Himeoji, and the fact that there were no boys or girls around him, it was fortunate for Hibiki.

There were rumors from those gossipy bunch that he was a male prostitute, but as expected, even Hibiki found that ridiculous and quickly dismissed it.

She can’t deny that it might be just her hoping for it to be wrong——

(In any case... if he doesn't have a lover, I won't give up just yet...)

She won’t make any convenient assumptions like——maybe, it’s because he still can’t forget about her.

However, if he was aware of her to some extent through the many letters she has sent, she should still have a chance.

“...I love you. I love you more than anyone else, Yuuma.”

Looking up at the winter night sky, Hibiki murmured as she trembled slightly from the cold air.

◇

By the way——

About those letters, just looking at them makes him feel like his life expectancy is decreasing, but Hibiki has no way of knowing that.

————

(T/N: I translated it as committee and members, but the dictionary translated it as “administration” and “executive” or something similar, but I changed it because it feels weird to call high school students as those.)

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