Reluctantly Caught - Chapter 1 (Patreon)

So many mixed emotions had been running through Elliot’s mind lately. Torn between happiness and revulsion, blissfulness and distress, such polar feelings he suffered from. It had been eating away at him for a couple of weeks now, it was almost maddening. He knew this wasn’t right, he shouldn’t be indulging in this or finding any part of it enjoyable. But as strongly as he felt he should be against it, he couldn’t stop himself. For some time now he had been indulging in a particular niche….hobby. He wouldn’t go as far as to call it a fetish, which felt more of an umbrella term for it. While he did feel some sexual gratification from it, that wasn’t its purpose. Diapers, he wore diapers….. It wasn’t something he told anyone or said lightly, he knew it was weird it was strange. It was hard to put into words how it made him feel when he wore them.

It was something he had only recently been experimenting with, never in public only in the security of his bedroom. Thank goodness for online shopping, it had been a nerve-racking experience even clicking through the item and adding it to his cart. A simple package of plain white adult medical diapers had been sent directly to him. He hated even using his real name but he knew he had too. He kept such a careful eye on the tracking when he waited for them to arrive, fearful that his mother’s snoopiness might catch him out. It said that all their medical supplies arrived in plain discrete packaging but it was still a worrisome thought. His mother didn’t really respect his personal boundaries, especially as much as she should have for someone his age.

Maybe it was because it was just the two of them living together; she felt more of a responsibility for him even though he was by all means an adult. Technically yes he wasn’t old enough to drink but he was still out of high school now. She wasn’t too overbearing but she definitely still felt solely responsible for his welfare and upbringing. Couple all those things together and it made it hard to keep anything a secret from her. He managed to get his package to his room and felt like an absolute ninja for it. It was like a full on operation for Elliot, he had picked up a jumper he liked earlier in the week. It provided the perfect cover story when his mother saw the package arrive and asked what he had ordered.

He came out and showed her, “Nothing special, just a new hoodie.”

She looked at is quizzically for a moment. “That looks nice dear, but I told you I’m more than happy to pay for your clothes, you don’t have to worry about that.”

She was right she always accompanied him when buying his clothes. It was fair she did pay for them, it felt strange at his age still having her picking out stuff. But it was honestly the middle ground and the best he could hope for. She was happy going off on her own and bringing him back what she picked out. This way at least he could have some control over his wardrobe even if she did veto a bunch of it. It left him with a pretty nerdish and dorky wardrobe, all smart clothing nothing someone would consider ‘cool.’ Yes it meant his friends would tease him, call him a ‘mommy’s boy.’ But whatever, it didn’t bother him that much; at least that’s what he told himself.

It felt so surreal putting on his first diaper that night they arrived. He was so quiet about it, afraid the crinkling would give him away it was much louder then he realised. He tip toed around his bedroom to afraid to leave his room even though he knew his mum would be asleep at this hour. He had tried pinpointing his obsession for diapers, but really he couldn’t quite narrow it down. He always felt some stirring inside of him whenever adds for diapers came on the television. Turning his head each time the ads came on doing his best to act nonchalant, his mother never questioned his odd behaviour he was hopeful she never noticed it.

Eventually it all came to much to bear and his curiosity got the better of him. He waited for his mother to be out one day and he started digging through his closet. He knew in the back buried in the deepest nook were some old boxes from his childhood. He successfully pulled them out of his closet and took a deep breath as he dug through them. Finally he found them, a half packet of unused diapers from when he was a toddler. He pulled one out gleefully and inspected it with a curious intensity. He loved the way it felt and the sound it made when it crinkled in his hands. He unfurled it, even with its age it had an overwhelming scent, it was hard to describe. It was like freshness, it was plastic and cloth entwined but it just, it simply smelled…. great.

There was a bitter sweetness to his happy discovery, as he looked down on his body he realised there was no way he could wear it. It was comical to even consider, the diaper was tiny it would probably fit over his fist convincingly but that was it. He sighed, stuffing it into his underwear he tried to enjoy the feeling but alas it was not what he was expecting. He stuffed the worn diaper and the rest of his baby paraphernalia back into its spot at the bottom of his closet. It was a time before he turned to the internet, it was such an obvious solution and it was strange he hadn’t considered it right away. He was flooded instantly with all different types of juvenile clothing and diapers designed for adults. It was like a rabbit hole one he feigned away from with little interest. He just wanted to wear a diaper, not even for its intended purpose solely out of curiosity.

He had allowance saved up, he wished he had a job but he just couldn’t find the motivation to find one. His mother didn’t pressure him, she liked having him around and he did his fair share of the chores. He tossed up the idea of college around for a while, but he barely passed his classes in high school due to laziness. The idea of racking up a huge debt in his adolescence when he might never use the degree sounded very unappealing. Again it wasn’t something his mum suggested pursing. She had a degree and a well-paying job; he assumed she would want him to follow her footsteps. Maybe it was the looming loneliness that would come with him leaving off on his next worldly experience. It was a part of growing up leaving the nest, scary and very expensive, that’s what Elliot thought of it.

Yes his friends were making steps in the right directions for their futures and sometimes he felt like he was in limbo. Unmoving but also uncertain of what path he wanted to take, so he was almost contempt just waiting it out for the time being. For now he would enjoy himself at for some reason that meant wearing diapers. So that’s what he did and strangely it felt like it was something he was good at. By the time he had gone through his fist package of diapers he had mastered the art of being discreet. He stuck to wearing in his room, disposing of the diaper at the bottom of the garbage can and only using them at night. It felt like a full on operation and it was going almost perfectly, until that one fateful night.

It was late and he was feeling so blissful and cosy all snuggled up in his bed sheets. Then it came, he had drunk a bit too much soda that night over dinner. He was in such a hurry to get to his diapers he completely forgot to use the bathroom. It was a bit ironic the whole situation, his sudden desperation to pee and unwillingness to use his diaper for its all intended purpose. He was running low on his supply too so he didn’t want to take this one off and put on another it was wasteful. So carefully in the middle of the night he tiptoed through the house, his bottom crinkling the whole way. He crept silently as he could as he passed by his mom’s bedroom, thankful it was closed. The pressure was really building now, his diaper seeming more and more likely to be used for its purpose if he didn’t hurry. In a few more lengthy strides he had reached the bathroom door, he turned the creaky doorknob silently cursing it under his breath.

“Elliot, what’s going on why are you up?” He heard his mother’s voice as she appeared into the hallway.

Shock overwhelmed him; his bladder so selfishly decided that now was the best time to relieve itself. He dared not turn to face his mother as he quickly filled his diaper, warm pee quickly was soaked up by the thick padding. He pushed harder to quicken the process; he had to delay her before she knew what was happening.

“Mum, I…. have to go bathroom it’s fine you can go back to bed.” He told her rather unconvincingly.

Finally the flow came to an end he pulled opened the bathroom door but she stopped him. Like an eagle eyed hawk circling its prey from above she zeroed in on his diaper as if it were a homing beacon. Even in her sheepish state and not having seen her son in diapers since he was a baby she knew instantly what that bulge meant.

“Honey, why are you wearing a diaper?” She asked inquisitively.

One embarrassing conversation later Elliot had offered up the only excuse he could think of at the time. He was having trouble with bed wetting, it wasn’t the best cover up but he didn’t want to tell her that he willingly did this because he enjoyed it. She chastised him for not telling her about his problem, she felt immense guilt that he had to be dealing this by himself and buying his own diapers. That would change she told him, she would be taking care of everything for him. Reaching down his pyjama shorts she cupped his soak padding in her hand. It all happened so suddenly and swiftly, before he knew it she had him lying back on his bed. She expertly took care of his wet diaper, gently scolding him for not having any powder or wipes on hand. She used tissues for the moment and had him back into a nice clean diaper.

It felt so surreal having gone through this with his own mother he was in awe. Did he enjoy it…..maybe? But it was all the product of a lie and that made him feel cruel and deceitful. He quickly thought about coming clean, but he was weak and afraid. The next morning she congratulated him on the dry diaper. When he was changed they went to the store together she bought him a few packets of diapers a plastic sheet for his bed, powder and wipes. The whole time those mixed feelings swelled over him. Guilt for lying to his mother but everything was making him flee gleeful. For the next fortnight she changed him nightly 8pm sharp, he found himself watching the clock with eager anticipation most nights. Of course to keep up with the charade he had to keep wetting, otherwise his diapers would stop and it felt like they had brought them closer together.

It had been wonderful these past two weeks but now things had taken a deeper turn. He was sitting in the backseat of his mother’s sedan, it was rather long drive ahead of him and they left as soon as dawn struck. The destination was his mother’s old friends place for a cute little getaway she had planned. Of course not trusting her son’s judgement when it came to his insistence that he wouldn’t need diapers for the ride because he wouldn’t fall asleep, she thought better of it. So here he was strapped into a clean diaper, freshly powdered and smelling so infantile. He just hoped the trip would be quick and he could change into his underwear before they got there and that hopefully if he were lucky she wouldn’t find out about their nightly bedtime ritual.