Mix & Match, Game 7, Bonus Round: Canned Laughter Edition (Patreon)

I'm gonna preface this on two fronts:

1) This one didn't come out quite like I wanted it to. I think that there are two strong segments and two weak segments. The idea was fun and I want to do it again, but with different subjects. 

2) The stories written here don't match the ones on the polls - this was written about a month ago. Sorry, I should have warned y'all!

But either way, this round was kind of just for me. Next month, y'all will get the End of Game Special for this game! That poll has closed as of the first of this month, so those numbers ARE final! There's a LOT to look forward to, and I hope y'all appreciate me taking this silly little detour.

...PS: the Seinfeld segment is a top-tier shitpost and I won't hear anything otherwise.