Tortured Poets Department initial thoughts (Patreon)

Okay, but she had us all gagged on the whole “I’m having his baby, jk” line, right?

The Tortured Poets Department took my expectations, ran them through the shredder, then left me stranded and broken… and yes, it was a wonderful time. I don’t know about y’all, but I was expecting this to be a breakup album, with the vibe of a classy, high-society Folklore.

I expected anger and sadness, but I wasn’t expecting this much anger. And I certainly wasn’t expecting the genre playfulness we saw back in Red, with dabblings of country, and even the depressed synths of Midnights. I’m still processing my feelings about this era, but I think right now, I can confidently say… I love this album. I love the messiness, the brutal honesty, the raw vulnerability, and this mixture of exhaustion and exasperation.

Compared to Taylor’s recent albums, it’s incredibly prose-heavy, even more so than the story-centric songs of Folklore and Evermore. And these tracks let us bear witness to an unraveling. A creative screaming into the void, ranting and raving about how they’ve been thoroughly disillusioned - by love, by the world, and by reality crashing through the narratives they’d crafted around themselves. The castle has crumbled, and now the queen is very mad, very unhinged, and very, very done.

Now, I wanna be upfront that this video isn’t gonna delve much into Taylor’s personal life. So if you’re expecting me to talk about the London Boy, or any rebounds or current loves, you ain’t getting that, cuz frankly it’s none of my business. But for the funzies, I will admit I am still shook at just how soundly the London Boy is probably sleeping now.

But today, I wanna give my initial thoughts on the album. How I’m interpreting the story, how it’s resonating with me, things I like, things I don’t like, etc., etc. I will likely do a deep dive at a later date. But ya know, I still gotta get around to that goddamn Evermore deep dive.

Mad Ramblings of a Jaded Poet:

What really strikes me about this album right off the bat is just how diaristic it feels. Midnights was vulnerable, but felt like it was beating around the bush, trying to hide what it was really about until “You’re Losing Me” put everything into perspective. Tortured Poets, meanwhile, is far blunter, far more direct, and far, far more aggressive.

Right off the bat, the lines about her being unwell, and needing to be sent away, really show us she’s not in a good headspace. She’s reminiscing about a short-lived tryst that continues to vex her. There’s also mentions of running to Florida, which she explains in an iHeart radio interview is largely about choosing this random place to run away to after an awful heartbreak, comparing it to trying to hide after committing a terrible crime.

The title track also speaks about a lover who’s self-sabotaging, who’s quite destructive, and that our narrator is trying to help through their shit. The mention of the typewriter gives the vibe that this person is pretentious, likely with arrogance to compensate for their insecurities, and now in the wake of the breakup, Taylor’s going, “No, you ain’t shit actually, and neither am I. But damn you’re a fool not realizing what you had.”

I really feel for her at the mention of the wedding rings. Like, damn, homegurl really wants to be loved more than anything, and this man’s out here making ambitious promises he could never hope to make good on.

A lot of the album is trying to rationalize her relationship with this man while she’s in it, going, “Oh no, he’s not that bad, I promise I can bring out the best in him,” contrasted with her frustration in realizing she really just wasted her time on a waste of space whose love was just a cheap hoax.

And in the aftermath, she’s just completely burnt out. If that wasn’t real, nor was the relationship that pushed her into this man’s arms, then what the fuck is real? Is anything real? And if nothing is, then why shouldn’t I just lie in bed all day binge-watching Catfish and telling God and his sick sense of humor to go fuck himself?

This level of being completely fed up reminds me a lot of Sza’s album SOS. Granted, they’re very different albums sonically, and SOS truthfully reminds me a lot more of Red than Tortured Poets, but I think this energy of crying out for help through screaming at the sky is something they share.

Though that does bring me to something that I think is admittedly a weakness of this era: a lack of sonic identity. That’s not to say I dislike the production on this album. Personally, I love the focus on her vocals, how hazy a lot of them are, the weird beep-boopy, almost sci-fi synths, and even the little country flares on those middle tracks. But I don’t know if I could boil down this album the way you can with her other eras.

Like, Folklore and Evermore are indie folk. Midnights is dreamy synth pop. Reputation is EDM. 1989 is pure bubblegum pop. Tortured Poets is quite similar to Red in how experimental it feels, but Red admittedly felt a lot clearer in its fusion of country and pop. I can’t really pin down what Tortured Poets is going for. The closest I can think of is… lo-fi?

Granted, that actually kinda works for me. It lends to this messy, burnt-out feeling of, “Fuck it, I’m just gonna ramble on about how much I hate everything that is and ever will be.” I know that’s not gonna work for everybody, but it kinda works for me, so… yeah. If I had to compare it to any albums, I’d say it has the lowkey vibe of Folklore and Evermore, the darkness of Reputation, and the dreamy synths of Midnights.

Really, this feels like the angriest, most emotionally raw album she’s made. Reputation was also quite angry, but that album was ultimately about a love story with a happy ending in the face of the rest of the world hating you. Tortured Poets feels like a deconstruction of that kind of narrative. A dismantling of this feeling that everything will work out, and an embrace of the chaotic parts of life where things don’t line up like a story where the good are ultimately rewarded.

“So Long, London” really feels like it epitomizes the bitterness this album was born in. She tried so hard to make this love work, to wait for this person to come around and show up, only to leave disappointed and wondering why the hell they weren’t important enough for this other person to prove their love.

And then you get “But Daddy I Love Him,” where she displays this frustration with the public for criticizing her personal life in the name of wanting her to make better choices. Not gonna lie, I was kinda living for how much of a troll she was in that baby joke, and her stating only she can tarnish her “good name.” As triumphant as it feels, I also can’t help but feel sorry for her being trapped by her own success in this way, where she can’t even really live without us all breathing down her goddamn neck with our two cents.

Like, as much as it’s nice to see her reclaiming her power and enjoying stepping back into the spotlight in the Midnights era, I also feel like that visibility brings so much scrutiny for a litany of reasons. But it leads to her no longer being seen as a person with flaws, privileges, and feelings. It’s dehumanizing, which feels antithetical to how much her music is about her very human experiences. So Tortured Poets also feels like her being honest with how all of this affects her mentally.

And then you get “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart.” The fact it’s produced to make you feel like you’re in the middle of this huge tour like her, trying to hit your marks and entertain millions, all the while you’re just dying inside? Putting on a smile and singing your heart out about things that’re haunting you?

And the fact it’s sandwiched between “loml” and “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”? OW. So not only dealing with heartbreak from two directions, but also having to manage your persona and mask the entire time. Like, dear God I hope this girl gets a long nap to just sit with her feelings for a while.

It does nearly end with a nicer song, “The Alchemy” being about a new, seemingly happier relationship. But that ending note being “Clara Bow,” reminding me a lot of “The Lucky One” with its acknowledgment of how vicious the industry, and just the world in general, is to women like her?

Yeah, it really does make the album feel like it’s a long venting session without a satisfactory conclusion, because…  well, if the last few years have shown anything, that’s kinda how life be sometimes. You think you reach a happy ending, and then life goes “Ha! Nah!” And then you get a railroad spike of depression throwing you to the kitchen floor.

The Fortnight Music Video:

Oh, also, LOVE the Fortnight music video? In general, I love Fortnight as an opening track. It really sets the tone with this spacey, lonely vibe, and the video accentuates that through black and white. The use of white really feels unnerving too, feeling overly sterile and artificial.

Taylor in this gorgeous black dress just standing calmly as burning papers fly around her? Trying to appear sane as everything, including her work, shows she’s feeling the exact opposite? Her staring dead-eyed into her lover’s eyes? Like, there is madness in these eyes, and I vibe. I feel you, girl. We’re all unhinged out here.

She talks about it a bit more in this tweet I found from the Chats and Reacts server - yeah, I’m in there, but I just kinda float around because tired. Anyhow, thank you to everyone who worked on this, cuz holy shit I shouldn’t love this as much as I do. That visual of him in the phone booth on the cliff, as she’s sitting on top of the booth in the pouring rain? It’s everything.

But it’s really adding to this feeling of a professional facade being violently, viciously torn apart by the inherent violence of life. It’s reminding me a lot of the song “Golden G String” by Miley Cyrus, where she’s like, “You dare to call me crazy - have you looked around this place?”

Favorite Tracks:

So on the standard edition, I don’t think I have a true favorite just yet, but I do have a few picks. Firstly, “But Daddy I Love Him.” Again, I fucking LOVE how defiant she is here, and the way she tears down the “concerns” of people in the bridge really speaks to me.

“Florida” is a surprise, as I wasn’t expecting to like this one. This dark, stadium-ready bop about running away to get away from your demons is everything to me, especially with Florence and the Machine’s inclusion? Like, those ghostly, high-pitched vocals? The disappearance of a cheating husband and potentially hiding bodies in swamps? Yes please, give me more.

“Guilty as Sin?” is also more of a bop than I expected. I mostly love it for the melody, especially in those choruses, though I do love how shamelessly messy it is. Really feels like it adds to how indulgent and decadent this era as a whole is.

Actually, I think “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” has a very strong chance of being my favorite off this record. It’s got that deep, powerful fury which reminds me so much of “mad woman.” Like, I was this sweet, gentle-hearted artist just sharing my feelings, y’all transformed me into this monster, and then you blame me for it? Gurl, fuck you, you should sleep with one eye open, cuz I’m about to gouge the other one out with one of my stilettos.

The way her voice goes high on the eponymous line, as she’s just screaming at you? GURL, I felt that shit. And her joking that she’s laced her lyrics to be addictive? Fucking genius.

And then of course, “loml” and “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” “loml” is a lot sadder, but they both have this righteous fury over someone who wasted her fucking time and left her completely broken and unable to even believe love is real. The bridge on “The Smallest Man Who Ever Live” is going to live rent-free in my head for several years, I already know it.

Like, “I would’ve died for your sins, instead I just died inside”? GURL. HOW DARE YOU WRITE THIS? Even that line of not wanting someone back, but just wanting to know why. Now that is some relatable, cathartic shit. I do need closure, bitch.

The Anthology:

Oh, and then of course, there’s the Anthology. She basically pulled another 3 a.m. edition, with 15 extra songs dropped just two hours after the standard album. I definitely need more time with these tracks, but I’m so beyond happy all four bonus tracks are here. I wasn’t a fan of splitting them across four different editions of the album. To me, that just feels sleazy and gross.

I’ll link a video talking about a similar issue with Midnights’ variants, but I generally am not a fan of these practices. Like, love you Taylor, but I gotta call it like I see it, and this feels exploitative.

That said, I love the anthology tracks, my favorites being “I Hate It Here,” “The Prophecy,” and “The Bolter.” Like, “I Hate It Here” is for the escapism girlies, and why I’m a writer. I do kinda wish there was a longer gap between this and the standard album, but I thankfully don’t really feel like we were missing any crucial story details here like we were on the standard edition of Midnights.

Overall Thoughts:

So, overall, I really love Tortured Poets. I don’t think it’s taken the crown from Folklore and Evermore, and I definitely don’t think this era’s for everyone. But for me? Yeah, I fucking love how rambly and bitter this all is, and the focus on lyrics and story is definitely my speed.