Updates and Stress. >.< (Patreon)

ALL AUTOGRAPHED IMAGES FOR PATRONS WHO PLEDGED BEFORE AUGUST 1ST HAVE GONE OUT! I hope you like them and they all arrive safely to you! :)

Anyone who pledged after the 1st will get theirs after September 1st, as their cards haven't been charged yet! (I know, it's confusing!)

ALSO, Early Access for Fan Service Friday will be up tonight ASAP! I might include a gaming video, too, and some extra footage for Patrons only! 

Anyway, I don't know if I should treat these posts as some form of diary, but I do know that you guys are helpful and make me feel better, even if it's just encouraging words. :)

Why I am stressed these past couple days:

1. I've been feeling like shit. I don't know if it's the heat, or what, but I get nauseated easily and have headaches!

2. I feel like I need more time in the day! It's so hard to force myself to gym, tan, make appointments for check ups and things, when I spend 5-8 hours streaming, 3 hours on content and editing, and the rest on e-mails and such. Lately it's been a little overwhelming, and I need to push myself through a lack of motivation for things like cleaning the house, and chores/errands.

3. My gaming channel's performance is down 20%. My heart is in that channel more than anything else I do, and I feel the content is great and genuine, but the prejudice people hold against me makes it hard for the channel to thrive. I don't know what more I can do other than things that I feel are "sell outs" like playing the newest games, even if I am not interested. It could just be a phase, channels go up and down all the time, but I want people to enjoy the games I love, and the content I love to create!

4. I can't work out a good solution for my microphone issue on the new camera. I can't use a lapel mic because it looks dumb, and I need to be able to move around for Fan Service Fridays and other things, too. I see many YouTubers who do not use lapel mics. The shootgun mic I got sounds SO bad. :(

5. Early Access has been hard to work out. If I set something to unlisted, then change it to public later, it doesn't seem to get send out to everyone's feeds properly, so less people can see it. Also, there have been kinks that allow people to access the videos when they shouldn't be able to. Even if it all does work properly, I have to be available at 3pm every day to make it live manually, rather than just scheduling it. I've toyed with the idea of uploading 2 versions, but I'd have to do it on opposing channels as I can't upload the same video twice. Uploading videos is also time consuming and throttles my internet for some reason, so I can't play games or stream during an upload. >.<

EDIT: 6. Not to mention, so many of the gameplay video I upload are unmonetized until I fucking dispute some bogus content claim, which can take a whole month to resolve, at which point the video isn't even new anymore and some countries couldn't even see it. This happened with my Life Is Strange and Akiba's Trip videos, so... no monetization and less access to my viewers. AHHH!

I'm not looking for sympathy, I love my life! I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed about certain things lately, it feels nice to vent to a group of people I know support me! :) Thanks for listening! <3

Much love and penis!

Tara <3