Chapter 17 (Patreon)

“What the fuck dude!?” Yang shrieked at me when she finally got up from her total beat down.

“Swear!” Ruby zoomed past me while she held a jar full of lien and held it out in front of Yang. The blond grumbled for a while before stomping off for a nearby table and grabbing a card out of her purse and slotting it inside the jar.

After that whole debacle was done, she then glared and stomped towards me, before grabbing the collar of my shirt.

“What the heck dude!?” Damn, was she loud. I winced at the volume while a bit of spittle flew and smacked itself on my cheek. “When the heck did you learn to do all those stuffs!? Isn’t your semblance just regeneration!?”

Ah, music to my ears. The sound of a lesser organism rising up to topple their betters. Wait, wrong quote. I ain’t a fucking narcissist.

“I didn’t say my semblance was regeneration.” I smirked at her, causing the blond to nearly go off the rails and nearly sock me in the jaw, but a cough from behind her got her out of her funk.

“Alright, little dragon. Drop the kid. Don’t want to do something you’ll regret.” Taiyang patted Yang on the shoulder. The blond teen’s chest heaved up and down as her eyes bore into mine, before it slowed down and she let out a frustrated sigh. She then promptly drops me to my ass and I hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. Mind you, it wasn’t because of exhaustion, I was just surprised.

“Urgh, damnit. This is so not gonna look good for me back in Signal.” Yang pointed at me with a finger. “Also, you. We aren’t finished yet. I want a rematch next week.”

[Quest Received!]

[Rematch of Epic (not quite) Proportions]

[Objective: Beat Yang in the fight]

[Bonus Objective: Dominate Yang]

[Rewards: 1 Epic Perk roll, 1 Epic Item roll, 20 stat points]

[Bonus Rewards: 1 Legendary Perk roll, 1 Legendary Item roll, 30 stat points]

Oh… Well, shit, I’m not gonna win next fight, am I? I just got lucky ‘cuz Yang wasn’t prepared for my bullshit, but now that she’s fully aware of it… Yeah, goodbye Epic perk roll, you will be missed.

I may be able to tank her blows right now, but that’s all I can do. Tank her hits. If she isn’t out of balance, nor on the ground, I’m not gonna hit the brawler. Just one look at how she reversed my grapple when I tried it on her was enough of a clue of the experience gap.

“Yeah, you can try.” But hell, if I ain’t going down swinging. Yang wants a rematch; she’ll get a rematch. Plus, I have some cool rolls now, hopefully I get some sweet combat perks to even out the playing field.

Like I don’t know, speed maybe? I’m still very fucking slow as far as Huntsman fight goes. Hell, looking at Ruby twirl that oversized scythe of hers that doubles as a fucking anti-material rifle was just mind-boggling.

Like seriously, you have twig arms! How the fuck are you carrying that piece of monstrosity and using it like a majorette baton!?

“Oh, it’s on, bucko.” Yang’s toothy grin made her look like a predator eyeing its prey. Taiyang behind her was shaking his head, as if this outcome wasn’t avoidable. Yeah, he’s right. Yang wouldn’t want to back down from a fight. “I still want an explanation about your semblance.”

“Me too!” Ruby then zoomed into my face with stars in her eyes. “You were all cool and huaaaahhh!!! Like squirting water guns like pew pew, and making holes in the ground was awesome! What’s your semblance!?”

And Ruby motormouth made her appearance. I swear, she’s fucking adorable. But even her adorableness won’t let me pass up an advantage in the upcoming fight.

“Now why would I do that? Yang and I are still going to fight next week, so I’m gonna keep all of my cards close to my chest.” Yang almost rushed me, but Taiyang was able to stop her by grabbing the scruff of her shirt.

“Now calm down there, don’t let your anger get the better of you.” Taiyang frowned as he barely gave any effort to hold Yang in place. “I thought I taught you better than fighting while mad.”

Yang visibly calmed down again, but I did notice that her eyes weren’t red the entire time she tried to rush me. It was probably just annoyance.

“Fine, fine.” The blond brawler said while heading back into the house. “You better be ready next week, Jack. I’ll have your ass next time we fight.”

“It is a cute ass.” I checked my behind then slapped it for good measure. Damn, it was hard and not jiggly like last, last month. It caused Yang to sputter slightly before she chuckled.

“Dad! They’re flirting again!” Ruby moaned and Taiyang chuckled at the sight.

“Let them be, my little rose. They’re teenagers.” The blond father grinned, causing Ruby to hum.

“But didn’t you punch that other guy’s face when you saw him hanging out with Yang?” At that, Taiyang ne    rvously chuckled, but otherwise, was unperturbed at the forward question while he patted the head of his daughter.

“Let’s just say the guy was a meanie.” Ruby’s eyes seemed to squint for a moment, before she nodded happily and then zoomed towards the house, seemingly forgetting about the fact of my strange abilities. “So, next week, huh? You gonna live?”

“I certainly hope so.” I chuckled anxiously. “I’m honestly terrified, now that she knows my tricks.”

“Yep, Yang’ll beat you to the ground after what you did.” Taiyang laughed and approached, before patting me on the back. Hard. Fortunately, my perk was already hard at work, and I barely stumbled from the force. “Still, nice fight. I can tell you’ve improved, except for your grappling. Please don’t do that again.”

I winced. “Yeah, noted. Don’t wanna get another chokehold too soon after the last one.”

The two of us laughed for another moment, before we headed back to the house.

Time to open up my perks and see what I got,

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Name: Jack Alano

Title: Unlucky Sunovabitch

Race: Faunus (Tiger [Retractable Claws])

SP = 20

STR: 15

VIT: 32

END: 34

AGI: 12

DEX: 11

INT: 10

WIS: 5

There wasn’t that much improvement with a few weeks of training, just a point or two of stat gains here and there. It’s kind of hard, actually, to get them up with just hard work.

Just even more reason to try and beat Yang next week for more stat points. Perks are good and all, but if I have a shit baseline, then good luck trying to make complete use of the perk in question.

I know I’m going the tank build because my perks are mostly specialized in defense right now, but my hits are gonna be weaker overall. Thanks to reinforcement, I won’t truly be lacking firepower, but against the kinds of beings in the near future that wants the implosion of Remnant? Yeah, not looking good.

But as of now, strength is not an issue. Right now, all I need is speed. What use is my strength if I can’t even hit my target? However, I’ll hold off it for now. I need to see my new perks before I go adding my SP into my stats.

So, time to pray to RNGesus to give me a speed perk. Please! I’m begging you!

[Rolling]

[Common Perk gained!]

[Herbalist Apprentice - You ever wonder what was in those potions? Yeah, me neither. You can identify plants that could be used for alchemy and craft basic potions. Just don’t talk to the mushrooms. We don’t want another Kled situation.]

Well, not that bad, but ultimately useless. I don’t even have the required items to brew my own potions! Where the hell am I supposed to get an alchemy table here in Remnant!? As far as I know, I could only find them in the Elder Scrolls!

Shit. Okay, one perk done, two more to go.

[Rolling]

[Uncommon Perk gained!]

[Crafty Hands - You are now the finger master! You can whip up stuff faster than the average joe and please your mistress in bed, if you do have one, at least. Just be careful where you put your digits in, the term “Don’t stick your dick in crazy” is a thing, after all.]

Fuck, another bad one for our fight next week. I swear, I keep on getting uncommons and commons. Well, at least when I get to have my hand at creating my own mechashift weapons, it’ll be easier. Might even Ruby to gawk at me when I do so.

Last perk, and this is at least an Epic. GIVE ME SPEED PLEASE!

[Warning, System (RNG version) has been updated to newest version. Please read the changelogs.]

Wait, what!? Please don’t tell me it’s a nerf! PLEASE!

[Changelogs for ver. 1.01]

[Updated Perk Roll System]

[Rarity remains unchanged]

[Types changed]

[Physical Combat, Magic, Production, Gathering, Survival, and Miscellaneous changed to Martial Prowess, Arcane Arts, Craftsmanship, Harvesting, Exploration, and Adaptive Abilities]

[Everything else, unchanged]

… Wait, that’s it? Just a name change? Or was it because of redundancy issues like for some Survival perks indirectly being Combat perks?

Huh, I think it is. Oh well, nothing too much to cry over. Let’s roll the Epic perk now.

[Rolling]

[Legendary Adaptive Ability Perk gained!]

[Wisdom’ Blessing - I got eleven brains like an enormously educated Einstein with elephentitis of the erection. Your brain’s so big, the universe takes notice, occasionally sending you a gift during a crisis. Don’t get a big head, though, Outer Gods know lesser Gods already have an ego the size of a star.]

That isn’t too bad. The one thing I don’t like about this perk is that it’s also RNG based. Like, come on!? Are you fucking kidding me!? I already have shit luck with my System, but you’re telling one of my perks is also RNG based!? Fucking piece of… RAAAAAHHHHH!!!

A few minutes of trying to calm down later and I blankly stared at the few remaining rolls that I have. They weren’t perks, but hey, items are items, and maybe I could get… You know… a mini nuke… Actually, scratch that, that’s dangerous as fuck, but I wouldn’t mind a Gatling Laser from Fallout.

Fawkes you wonderful mutant you.

[Rolling]

[Common Craftsmanship Item gained!]

[Craftsman’s Guide - The bible for all DIY enthusiasts in the world. Give it a read, won’t you. Don’t be an illiterate pig.]

Okay, one, that’s cool. Second, what the fuck System? Your insults are getting harsher with each and every roll I take.

Shaking my head, I do another roll really hope to get a rare item or something higher. Please. I just want an OP weapon, is that too wrong to ask?

[Rolling]

[Common Adaptive Ability Item gained!]

[Endurance Charm - A charm that was popular in one region because of how effective it was in bed. Housewives approved of this item as studies have shown. Ironic really, seeing as this was first used by soldiers in wars so they could survive longer and make it back to their loved ones.]

… Bruh… What’s with this sudden tone shift? Where’s the playful banter? The toxic-but-not-so-toxic exchange of words? Fuck, alright, forget about this for now. I want my epic item.

[Rolling]

[Epic Exploration Item gained!]

[Oracle’s Spyglass - A popular item used by voyeurs. This particular item has been downgraded for more public use instead of those used in the military. Can only show a location within a 20 kilometer radius. Don’t spy on showering women, you filthy degenerate.]

… Well, well, well. It seems I have something I can share with Ozpin in case any… unsavory bitches decide to come and ruin the Kingdom of Vale with their fucking manipulations and lies.

And by bitches, I meant Cinder Fall. I have a hate boner for you, and I’m not afraid to let it show. You will die one day in the future, and after that, Salem will have hers.

The Queen of Grimm has lived to long, and frankly, she deserves to die. Not because she’s evil or anything, Ozpin, rather, Ozma, just had as much blame to shoulder for, but she’s just too pitiable.

An immortal wanting to die but can’t. I wonder how’d that feel?

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A/N: To be honest, not really proud of this chapter. Been a slog trying to write through this, since it's just mostly exposition and rolls. Anyway, next chapter is the rematch.