Chapter 7 (Patreon)

The next day had me laying back on the bed like a king would, face turned into a sloppy grin as I dreamed of a glorious end to the tyrannical witch that was Cinder. As for Salem, I didn’t hate her enough to wish for her to have a dog’s death.

Just a simple stab to the heart - or anywhere really, as long as she dies permanently - and I can forget her like a father did to his child. Or even mother, can’t be too sure about which gender would be more of an ass to their child when their hearts are as black as the fucking coal big ‘ol Santa Claus gifts naughty children during Christmas Eve.

Offending comments aside, I buried myself even deeper within the soft cushions of this glorious bed. Whoever made this mattress, they get a thumbs up from me.

As for why I was in this good of a mood, my talk with Ozpin yesterday was a huge relief. His assistance may not be set in stone for the near future, but at the present, it was enough for me to sit back, enjoy the view, and relax.

And if that view was a carto- pardon me, anime, unique to Remnant with a bunch of fanservice playing on the TV, even better! Can’t be too careful with those keyboard warriors. It’s just a different language for the same meaning, calm the fuck down, weebs! Not that I’m that different, anyway.

Shaking my head from the tangent, I blinked and exhaled slowly, the cushions of the mattress massaging my back like a masseuse with godly fingers.

It was while I was relaxing that I heard a knock coming from the door. Groaning, I lift myself up from the bed, my back protesting at the sudden loss of glorious comfort, and switched the TV off with my hand holding the remote.

“Come in!” My voice echoed through the room, and hopefully, through the door. There were some times back in Earth that my voice just didn’t somehow go through doors. Believe me, I’ve tried, and it was kind of confusing. And horrifying. Confusing because how the fuck did the man behind the door not hear my yell through a thin piece of wood, and horrifying because said man was a fucking loan shark with big muscles, the size of which could capsize a damn tanker.

“Good morning, Mr. Jack. Hope you’re not feeling too under the weather.” The good doctor entered the room with a disarming smile, arms still clutching that clipboard he had yesterday like it was an unborn child.

“Nah, not really. Actually feel great today, thanks for asking.” I chuckled while waving my arms. “My back feels like its being massaged by Goddesses with a penchant for giggling. The mattress is just that good.”

“Then I’m glad you’re feeling well.” The good doctor handed over the clipboard to me as he got closer, my hands accepting it with a confused frown on my face. “Peculiar analogies aside, I have some extraordinary news for you today.”

“What? Am I getting released?” I joked with a shrug, but when the doctor said nothing, I stilled. “You’re kidding right? It hasn’t even been a week.”

“As much as I agree with you, you cannot deny the facts.” The doctor motioned for me to flip the pages on the clipboard, and I indulged in his request. The next few pages showed me something I couldn’t even believe if this was back on Earth. “Congratulations, you are completely healed, and with our advanced recovery techniques, have that chest tube removed without a scratch.”

“… Aura really did that much?” I asked, and the doctor shook his head.

“No, even Aura cannot heal a person this fast.” The doctor asked the clipboard back with his hands, and I gave it to him wordlessly. “With an injury like yours, it would’ve taken at least four to seven days for a full recovery. Your Aura healed you in less than half that time.”

I gapes, and then remembered the fact about one of the perks I got for completing that quest.

[Rapid Regeneration (System Version) - Increases your body’s regeneration capabilities by a factor of 10. System Version - increases it by another factor of 10, gain a very high resistance to harmful toxins, and sleeping will cleanse your body removing all form of debuffs from your body.]

On its own, it would have been handy whenever I got an injury. With Aura? It became a fucking godlike perk.

“Which brings us to our next findings.” The doctor clapped and brought me out of my reverie. “Congratulations on finding your semblance!”

… I thanked whatever deity that led them to believe it was my semblance. Hopefully, I can only reveal the… more secret aspect of my ability to Ozpin only, and probably the main cast.

They’re trustworthy, and this doctor may have saved my life, one good act does not deserve deep trust.

“Well… Damn…” And for once, I didn’t have to lie to deceive a person. I really did feel mind-boggled at the fact my Aura coupled with one of my perks healed me this fast, and if the doctor took at as me unbelieving at the fact I got a semblance just right after getting my Aura unlocked, even better.

“Anyway, it won’t be long now. We’ll just have to get your tube out and we can send you on your way.” The doctor’s words had me freeze in place.

I forgot I had nowhere to go. Oh shit, I’m fucking homeless!

“On that note, once you’re free, Headmaster Ozpin is waiting for you just outside.”

And I relaxed. I forgot Ozpin wanted to talk to me today. Kind of forgot it when I rode the high I got when I felt relieved after talking to the man himself yesterday about my future knowledge.

Hopefully, it doesn’t screw up the events that are gonna happen, otherwise, I may not be able to counter it.

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“Ah, Mr. Jack. I’ve been waiting for you.” Ozpin beamed at me as he beckoned me closer. I was all too eager to abide, but then I saw three other people with him. And oh boy, were they a colorful bunch.

Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long, and Taiyang Xiao Long.

Ruby was looking at me with a relieved smile, Yang had a grin on her face, but something tells me that she’s thinking of something entirely different than what her facial expression is showing, and Taiyang looked very confused.

“This is who you want me to train?” Taiyang looked me over for a few seconds before he frowned. “Kind of late, isn’t it?”

“Ouch, why strike me in my fat, why don’t you.” I grumbled, pinching the flab on my side slightly. I know I’m fat, I know I’m chubby, but is it really that odd to see a person wanting to change just because his life is very much at risk?

I don’t want to die a virgin, thank you very much.

“I dunno, you seem rather… waistful with your energy.” Yang, the pun-master/annoyance that she was, made a pun that made me groan. Ruby did so as well, while Taiyang had a ghost of a smile float on his lips.

Ozpin was as stone-faced, as usual.

“Yang, why…” Ruby rubbed her face then zipped past to me. “Are you okay? I hope you’re not too hurt from the beowulf.”

“Nah, I’m fine. Ozpin there unlocked my aura and now I’m as good as new!” My words got them to still slightly, except Ozpin. Actually, I can see Ozpin smiling just a bit.

“Wait, you’re healed? As in, fully healed?” Taiyang asked with a dumbfounded face.

“Yep.” I popped the p in the word. “Apparently, I also unlocked my semblance. I just call it rapid regeneration. Makes me heal faster.”

“… Damn.” Yang hummed as she sized me up, making me quake in my boots, somewhat. “Still look like a fat dumpling to me, ya sure you up for the training dad’s gonna give ya?”

“Yang, don’t be rude!” Ruby zipped back over to Yang, her eyes boring into Yang’s easy-going grin. “Besides, if he wants to train, then let him.”

“Now, girls, calm down a bit.” Taiyang waved his arms around with a sheepish grin, before he turned to Ozpin. “Look, Oz, I can train him, no problem on that. But there is one other problem.”

“You mean the fact that I’m homeless?” My words got him to wince slightly and the two younger girls to gape. “What? You two didn’t know?”

“Well, actually, yes.” Taiyang agreed and now his daughters were looking at him like he grew a second head.

“Now, now Taiyang. I know you are worried about your daughters in the presence of a teen their age.” Now it was Ozpin’s turn to have his head focused on by the glares of two young teenagers. “But think of it like this, you get free labor.”

“… Wut…?” I gaped. Now it was my turn to glare at Ozpin like he grew two devil horns.

“Hm… Actually, you’re not wrong there.” Taiyang looked at me like a slab of meat and now I felt like my chastity was in danger. Well, not really, but the feeling was still there, fur fuck’s sake! “I could use somebody to keep the girls in line when it comes to chores.”

Now both Ruby and Yang were looking away while whistling, both of them fidgeting underneath the glare their dad was giving them.

“What? You do know I have other issues to resolve too, other than cooking, cleaning, and even washing laundry.” Taiyang listed off the more embarrassing parts of their sloppy behavior and made the two girls aghast, faces as red as a tomato.

“Dad! Quiet!” Yang squeaked as she waved her hands like a loon. Ruby was doing the same but instead of words, her face was doing an impression of a fish out of water.

“But seriously, Oz, why do you want me to train him?” Taiyang focused back on Ozpin, the headmaster of Beacon seemingly unflinching as he weathered the glare. “You didn’t really explain on the scroll when we talked.”

“Let’s just say it has something to do with our… mutual acquaintance with a penchance for being royalty.” At that, Taiyang’s eyes narrowed at both me and Ozpin, while the words flew right over the two teenagers’s heads.

“Well, that changed things then.” Taiyang sighed, then he slowly approached me with an arm held out front. “Well, hello there. Name’s Taiyang Xiao Long. I’ll be your landlord for the foreseeable future. Don’t worry, your rent will be paid by your body.”

“Ew, dad, gross!” Yang grimaced while Ruby tilted her head curiously.

Ozpin chuckled and began walking off.

“Anyway, I’ll see you next time. Still have to get back before Glynda blows a fuse.” At his words, Taiyang grimaced at the thought of the deputy headmistress blowing a gasket.

Yeah, I can understand that as well. Glynda Goodwitch was a scary MILF. Hot and totally a bunch of people’s type, but also terrifying as fuck.

Actually, the terrifying part might not even be a negative in some people’s view. Didn’t a portion of the fandom from RWBY want a big stepping-on from Glynda?

Damn, sick fucks, let me join too.

Beating away the thoughtless tangent into the recesses of my mind, before burning it with imaginary napalm and throwing an imaginary nuke for good measure, I slowly made my way towards the two teenagers who were looking a little lost at the interaction.

“So… Housemates…?”

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A/N: To be honest, I got a little writer’s block for this fiction as a whole. Just don’t know what to write when we haven’t reached canon timeline yet. But anyways, that’s a me problem. I can get over it, no worries.