The Dungeon Hound Vol. 1 pts. 16-18 (Patreon)

[Vol. 1 pt. 16]

Was this girl bad news?

Probably.

But was she helpful because she helped me get food and gave me some company?

Yes.

And most importantly, were her thighs nice?

Absolutely.

The last one was the easiest to confirm given that, after I was done eating, she was happy to pick me up and carry me over to a couch in the lounge area where she set me down on her thighs.

It was then that one of my lifelong dreams was finally realized.

I got to rest on a woman’s thighs who weren’t my mother’s when I was sick.

Whatever the girl was didn’t matter. Cultist? Big deal. Kind of crazy? Didn’t care. Obsessively planning out our future after only talking to me for a few minutes? I hoped those future plans included plenty more of using her thighs.

It was impossible for life to get any better than it was. Seriously impossible. Not only did she put me on her thighs, but she put me on my back on her thighs. That allowed her to stroke and rub my belly as I enjoyed using her thighs as a bed and pillow.

Was the fact that she creepily giggled to herself while petting my belly an issue? As long as I was on her thighs, no. Not at all.

“Wa-wait! I just remembered something,” the girl said, using a louder voice than I thought she would considering there were others in the lounge trying to have their own conversations. “I never told you my name. I’m sorry. You’re my fated and I already made such a stupid mistake. I’ll never be a good wife to you if I can’t even remember doing something that obvious...”

No, trust me, it’s fine. Giving me your thighs like this is enough to be a good wife.

“Anyways… my name’s Elanah. I know that it’s not really a pretty name… and I know that I’m not that pretty in the first place, but I hope that I’ll be good enough for you. A-and, if I’m not good enough, then I’ll be happy to do whatever it takes to be good enough! I’ve heard that milk can help them grow… so, if you want them bigger, then I’ll drink as much milk as it takes until they grow!”

I’m pretty sure everything from you would grow in that case, not just your chest size. Also, there’s nothing wrong with your name. And you have a nice face. Be more confident in yourself.

The good news about not being able to communicate was that I had an excuse for not actually saying that. While it was easy to think that her name and face were pretty, would I actually to say that to her face if I was able to?

The only time I ever tried flirting with a woman… I ended up feeling like an absolute idiot afterward because I found out that she already had a boyfriend. Not only that, but her boyfriend was one of my friends. They literally started dating the day before I tried hitting on her and he planned on telling me all about it that evening.

Thankfully, he found it hilarious that I tried hitting on his girlfriend and we had a big laugh about it while I died on the inside.

Then we spent progressively less time together because he got more and more involved with his girlfriend and ended up knocking her up when they were only sixteen. At that point, I was officially the only boy in the village around that age who didn’t have a kid yet.

Eight years later and nothing changed.

Well, actually, a lot changed. Everybody in my village was happy, married, and living a peaceful life while I was turned into a beast in a dungeon after killing somebody, and now I was on top of a girl’s lap who was way too obsessed with me while barely knowing me.

Really thinking about it… coming to the dungeon was probably the best thing that ever happened to me considering that it got me closer to my dream of not dying pathetically alone than anything else did. Not to mention that it already satisfied my dream of resting on another woman’s thighs.

That was one dream out of many down.

I probably had too many dreams.

More importantly… what kind of man would I be if I couldn’t give her something as a thanks for making one of my dreams come true? Even if she wasn’t aware that she did it, she deserved to be thanked for it, and I couldn’t live with myself if I was some coward who couldn’t even compliment her. That was why I barked to say, “I like your name, and you are pretty.” I leaned my head up to look her straight in her eyes. I could get lost in her bright, violet eyes as if they were the endless sky. “And… you have beautiful eyes.”

I took a deep breath and leaned my head back against her thighs. There. Mission accomplished. I was a man and she had no idea what I said, so I didn’t need to feel embarrassed about it.

Though, when Elanah ended up being quiet for a couple of minutes… I looked back up to see what was wrong.

That was when I saw her with bright cheeks and tears in her eyes.

“He-hey, what’s wrong?” I barked with a tilted head.

Elanah sniffled and wiped her arm across her eyes. “I… I might not be able to understand exactly what you said, but… you—you said that you love me no matter how I look and that you want to start a huge family with me, didn’t you?! That’s the feeling I got from when you looked me in the eyes!”

…

…

…

“That’s not what I said at all!” I barked.

“Even—even if I want twenty kids?” Elanah asked with heavy panting mixed into her words.

“I’m not saying anything about kids!”

“My… my fated is such a beast…”

“Now what are you imagining me saying?!”

“If you keep wanting things like that… I won’t be able to resist getting on all fours for you right here, you know? I—I’ve been told that’s how beasts prefer it. If that’s what you want, then…”

I was speechless. Partly because of what she was saying and partly because of the fact that I felt her fingers on my belly ever so slowly trailing farther down my underside.

I was scared.

But also excited.

And even more embarrassed because I realized everybody else in the room stopped their conversations to stare at us.

[Vol. 1 pt. 17]

Things were about to get very dangerous. The stares of everybody around us weren’t enough to overpower the feeling of Elanah’s fingers getting dangerously close to stroking more than just my belly regardless of who was watching.

Part of me wasn’t sure if I should let it happen. The other part of me figured, Fuck it, doing things my way for the last twenty-four years never worked, so I might as well. I’m already a criminal who killed somebody. Where’s the harm in having public sex in the body of a beast? Mom, you might be disappointed in me, but… I’m about to become a—

“Woah, look at Fane!” one of the other women in the room said.

Elanah’s fingers stopped in their tracks as she instead balled her hands into fists, her teeth gritting against each other as she glared past me at the floor.

Did… did something happen between her and Fane? She really doesn’t look like somebody—wait. Don’t tell me. What if he’s her ex? What if she tried pulling all this ‘fated’ stuff on him before? Was she—

“Fane…” Elanah grumbled. “I’ll never forgive him.”

Yep. There was something between them. I should have known better than to think this girl was actually obsessed only for me. So much for—

“That bastard… he tried hitting on me. How dare he try hitting on me while I have a fated!?”

Wait. Is that it? If that’s it… I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have known anything about this fated stuff.

“He even touched my arm! And when I broke his fingers, all he said was ‘sorry.’ Sorry! As if a sorry is good enough for touching me before my fated could!”

She… she broke his fingers? I’m sorry, Fane. I know this isn’t my fault at all, but I feel responsible somehow.

“I’m sorry… I’ve been tainted by another man, and it’s all his fault. He’s lucky that the hero who loved is against revenge, even though it’d be justified…”

Fane, please beat the dungeon as soon as you can. Trust me. This is for your own good.

The next thing I knew, Elanah picked me up and held me in front of her face.

It was a good thing that my arousal died down or else I probably would have been sticking it right in front of her face.

I wondered what would have happened if I did that…

“You… you don’t hate me even though he touched me before you could, do you?” Elanah asked. “I’m sorry, I promise I didn’t want it! He forced his hand onto me! I was just sitting there and then he tapped me before I even knew he was there!”

She seriously looked like she was about to cry. So, to try and calm her down, I lifted up one of my paws and pressed it against her lips. I would have placed it on her shoulder, but my legs were too short and stubby for that. "It's alright," I barked.

I thought I would stop her from crying.

Instead, I made her cry.

“You’re too good for me,” Elanah whined. She then stopped crying as quickly as she began to wiggle her nose as she sniffed my paw. “Ehe… you smell like popcorn.”

How does your mood swing that fast?! Seriously! Not even my mother swaps moods that quickly!

“My fated is even better now! I had no idea that you’d smell so good! Here I was only thinking about how your musk would smell…”

I’m not even surprised at this point. I’ve already gotten desensitized to her.

While Elanah lost herself in sniffing my paw, I turned my head to look at what the others were looking at.

Along the wall were several rows of screens that showed everybody currently in the dungeon. Surely enough, the screen everybody was looking at had Fane on it.

His red hair was impossible to miss.

More importantly, he wielded a rapier in his right hand while some sort of dark energy swirled around his left hand. In front of him were a couple of large, green beasts who looked like Chosen except way fatter and taller.

The first beast threw its fist forward to try and punch Fane, but Fane only needed a single, quick step to the side to dodge the attack. Then, as if taunting the beast, he raised his hand holding the rapier and waved a finger at the beast.

The next beast charged at him with its entire body, trying to tackle Fane to the ground.

Fane gave us watching a flashy backflip and, while midair, held his left hand out toward the beast’s head to fire off what looked like a spike of dark energy that tore straight through the beast’s skull, instantly killing it.

“Wait, since when does Fane know void magic?” one of the men in the room asked.

“He got it a couple of floors ago. The dungeon granted it to him,” one of the women answered.

I heard a jealous little pout from Elanah which caused me to turn my head back to her. “Hmph. I know void magic naturally. I don’t need the dungeon to lend it to me…”

Wait… Elanah knows magic? Naturally? Is she actually incredible? I mean, she was already incredible just going by her personality, but is she incredible in ways other than being crazy about beasts she doesn’t even know?

By the time I turned my head back around, the battle was already over. Fane was in the process of withdrawing his rapier from the first beast’s head, which he had thrust straight through its forehead. He then looked up at the floating orb watching him and gave a wink and smile to the crowd.

I was pretty sure that I heard a couple of women in the room swoon from that.

I was also pretty sure that I heard more than a couple of men in the room swoon from it, too.

I guess he’s actually pretty popular. Not that I should be surprised with the face he has. I wish I was as cool as—

Elanah interrupted my thoughts by turning me around and hugging me against her chest. “Look at them fawning over that bastard. He thinks he’s all that, and they eat it up. They don’t know that my fated is the best. Just wait, I’m sure they’ll recognize how perfect you are! They’ll see how cool, handsome, cute, brave, smart, amazing, and perfect you are, and then you’ll have to practically fight them off you! They’ll all want your attention… but then, while you’re the object of their desires, you’ll push through the crowd and embrace me because I’m the one who’s always been here for you ever since the beginning! We don’t need any of them as long as we have each other, isn’t that right?”

She started mumbling and giggling to herself, so I let her do her thing while I focused my attention elsewhere.

The good thing about Elanah turning me around was that I could watch Fane without having to twist my neck around. With how he was able to get a positive reaction even from the other criminals, I needed to pay attention and take notes if I wanted to survive and make sure to stay entertaining while doing so.

That backflip looked pretty stylish. Maybe I should practice doing something like that.

Then I heard whispering.

“I wonder if I can sneak you back into my cell if I hide you under my shirt,” Elanah whispered. “If I can sneak you back there… my cell is at the end of the hall and the cell across from me is empty. We could do all sorts of things together and nobody would know…”

On one paw, I felt like I was already being dangerously stupid by tolerating Elanah’s obsession as much as I was. I barely knew her, yet I already felt desensitized to her.

On the other paw… did it really matter what kind of body I was in? We were both adults. Not only were we both adults, but we were both people. We both had souls. Even if I was in the body of a beast, I had a soul, and I had a dream to lose my virginity.

I turned my head to look at Elanah.

And I nodded.

Fuck it. If I have the opportunity, I’m going to enjoy life as much as I can. I’ve waited twenty-four years for this opportunity and I’m not going to pass it up.

[Vol. 1 pt. 18]

“I know you’ve got a soul… but you’ve still got the body of a beast,” the guard said as he dragged me back to my cell via a leash.

I couldn’t even be mad.

In fact, I was anything but mad. The stupid smile on my face refused to go away.

“Crazy cultists. Not like I can blame you since you’ll have to take whatever you can get with that body, but… I can still judge her for letting a beast screw her,” the guard continued.

I didn’t even care that the guard walked in on us. We were already on our fifth round. I might have been pissed off if he interrupted us during the first or second round, but the fifth? Who cares? I already won by that point.

I evolved.

I became a man.

It only took me twenty-four years, but I did it. Or more specifically, I did Elanah.

And it was fucking great.

She definitely enjoyed it, too, if her noises were anything to go by. Pretty sure those noises were how the guards found out in the first place. There were a couple of others locked up in that row, but they stayed quiet. They probably enjoyed listening to us if anything.

Also, I confirmed something important.

Even if my body was tiny… not all of me was tiny.

I can die happy now. I can die seriously happy. Wait, no, I can’t die. I want to do that some more. I need to meet up with Elanah again and have some more—wait. What… what if I got her pregnant? I—multiple times… can that happen?

It was only after the fact that I realized I might have made a huge mistake.

My dad always taught me the importance of protection. The folk in the city developed special little wrappers that could be used during sex to protect a man from knocking a woman up.

I used no such protection.

Sure, I wanted kids, but not yet! And I didn’t want to have them as a beast! What if I got her pregnant and she had a kid?! What would the kid even look like?! What if it was born and already had a bigger body than me?! And I wouldn’t even be able to help out with raising the kid since I wouldn’t have hands or anything! How would I burp it? What about cradling them until they fell asleep? How would I change a diaper with only paws?! I wasn’t ready to be a father!

But at the same time…

I had sex.

My mind ended up jumping back and forth between feeling proud of myself and feeling panic at the possibility of knocking Elanah up.

When Fane was brought back to his cell, I was in my proud mindset and he could tell.

“Nice,” Fane said. “I’d recognize that expression no matter how somebody looks.”

Fane was cool. He was somebody who wanted to help me out and he apparently had the admiration of guards and criminals alike. For him to congratulate me, I felt even prouder.

Then he sniffed the air.

“Oh. Elanah, huh? Good job. I tried, but she broke my fingers,” Fane said.

Whatever pride I felt vanished as I was instead more concerned about how he could tell just by sniffing the air.

“You look surprised.”

I nodded.

“Let’s just say that I have a really good sense of smell when it comes to blood.”

Blood? What did that have to do with any—

Oh.

…

Nobody here is normal. That’s disgusting. Seriously disgusting.

“What? Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like I’m proud of it or anything,” Fane said, actually looking offended by how I must have been glaring at him. “But really, nice job. I’ve got to admit, I’m jealous of you. She’s got my favorite body type. I really tried using all my best lines on her, and she looked at me like I was the most disgusting piece of filth to ever exist. Was pretty hot. Then she broke my fingers. While I don’t mind a bit of a chase with girls who play hard to get… I’ve got to say, that clear level of disinterest was a major turn off.”

I already thought it sounded bad when Elanah told me about it, but Fane made it sound even worse.

Something about that made me happy even though I felt bad for him.

“I have no idea how you did it. I wasn’t even the first to try hooking up with her. First to make the mistake of touching her, though,” Fane continued. “You’ll have to teach me your ways sometime. You’re a master if you could conquer a woman I couldn’t.”

It’s more like she conquered me. I really didn’t do anything other than exist in her general direction. Well, that and go hard enough that my hips are sore now.

I appreciated the praise, though.

“Anyways, I’ve got some more advice for you,” Fane said. “Never try to do flashy backflips. I pulled one off that I thought was pretty cool, but then I tried it again. Had a spear thrown through me while I was in the air. I must have looked pretty stupid dying that way. Well, the crowd can appreciate people dying in stupid ways, but man… it does a number to the ego when you think you’re doing something that looks cool and then you die like that.”

Alright. Maybe I wouldn’t practice backflips after all.

“One more thing before I pass out.”

I was surprised he was awake at all if he apparently died. When I died, I was out for the next few hours—until morning, basically. Maybe it would get easier the more I died.

I wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing—getting used to dying, that is.

“The others here can hold grudges. Now, I don’t care that you got Elanah. I’ve had enough women in my life that I can’t be too upset that somebody got one before I could. But, there are some others in here who are going to be jealous of you. It wouldn’t surprise me if one or two of them try to teach you a lesson, either in the dungeon or outside of it. Lots of men lust after Vellfalan like her. They crave the exotic types like her. Like it’s a badge of honor to do one. Can’t say I don’t feel the same way with how rare they are.”

Wait… she was a Vellfalan? She… wait. I was so distracted by everything going on that… I didn’t even pay any attention to it then. Her ears were way longer than a Chosen’s. They were more like an Elrafi’s, but she lacked all the other features of an Elrafi. She looked mostly like a Chosen, though. Her ears were the only Vellfalan parts of her.

“Good news is that we don’t have to worry about anybody going after her. Rapists who are dumb enough to come here are always voted out even if they don’t do anything wrong. Rooting for a killer is one thing, but rooting for a rapist? Nobody does that. But there are men in here with some serious anger management issues, so it wouldn’t surprise me if one or two of them try crushing you out of jealousy.”

Part of me felt regret for ever getting involved with Elanah if doing so just made my life that much more difficult.

But the other part of me?

The other part of me felt even prouder for losing my virginity to a woman who made others jealous.

Fuck them. I did something they couldn’t. Well, somebody they couldn’t.

For the first time in my life… I was the one who others were jealous of.

Did that mean I was in danger? Yeah, it did.

But did I like how that felt?

Yeah. I did.

((Nobody gets to complain now about Woofen being blueballed for 4 volumes like they all kept complaining about in the original TQH xD))