Mean Girl Script Preview (Patreon)

Hello, my darlings!! Thank you all so much for your patience and kind words of support while I’ve been working on catching up with all my endeavors 🥹 Script is mostly done, thought I’d go ahead and share a big chunk of the sfw portion as a preview! Expect the full audio by Friday at the latest, possibly before then 🙏🏼

As a little context, the location of the scene is in the green room of the university’s theatre department building, later in the evening. For those who don’t know what a green room is, it’s like a lounge for performers before they go onstage. In college, aside from its intended purpose, performance majors use the green room for hanging out and doing schoolwork, and sometimes stay past hours to get work done there.

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*scoffs as she scrolls through her phone* God this is why opening Instagram should come with a jumpscare warning. Why would she WEAR that, much less post a picture of it?? People are so brave on social media nowadays. *speaks out loud as she comments on the post* Wow! So… cute… Brittney! Aaand heart eyes emoji. Send. *audibly rolls her eyes* Ugh. How utterly appalling. Anyway-

*cuts off as the listener clears her throat. Looks up from her phone, raising an eyebrow in disbelief* Did you just clear your throat at me? What, do you need something? Don’t you have enough to do? *pause* Um, as I said when we first started, I am supervising. You’re the little science whiz here, you can handle this… project just fine. My self-appointed job is to oversee your progress and make sure you stay on track. Obviously.

…try to help? Oh please. You’re doing just fine without my input - and quite frankly I don’t see why I should bother when I’ve got you to handle it all for me like such a good little straight A student. *smirks* Touchy, aren’t we? Anyway, if you’re going to be such a headache about this, maybe I’ll just go rehearse my lines in the wings while you -

*the listener irritably blurts out that she will tell their biology professor that MG did not contribute. Long pause*

… Excuse me? Why would you tell the professor on me? *laughs, an attempt to sound unbothered that comes off a little strained* So not only are you a sore loser that I was cast as the lead role in the semester’s play over you, while you got stuck with a supporting character… you’re also a tattletale? That’s rich! Tell me, why in the world do you think she would even care if a theatre major, of all people, doesn’t put in the work for a core curriculum class?

*the listener reveals she is aware that MG is failing biology. MG’s tone sharpens* how… the hell… do you know that? *pause* You overheard me outside the student union talking about it on the phone. Great. Just… great. Ok, fine. Yes, I’m on the verge of failing biology. So sorry I pushed off taking a required science class until my last semester because, unlike some of the posers in our major, theatre is my life and I wanted to focus on it first and foremost. Don’t you dare judge me. How was I supposed to know the only science class that worked with my schedule in my last semester would be the most impossible one to pass?? Screw you. It’s not like I had any other options.

*this part is a bit overdramatic* …Oh, I see. You’ve ascertained that getting an A on this project may be my best chance to pass the class and graduate on time. So now you’re going to use this as leverage against me, huh? You thought, “Oh, she’s forced to rely on me now, so how about I put her completely at my mercy?” You’ll make me do whatever you want, like some sicko, and if I don’t, you’ll go running to our completely unforgiving professor to tell her I did nothing! At which point she will most likely fail me automatically... And even if I try to get back at you by making your life miserable, you’ll graduate when the semester ends and I’ll still be here, without a scholarship to help me pay for another semester, so it won’t even matter.

Hah! Wow. That’s pretty devious for you. I’d be impressed if I didn’t completely despise you right now. What, is this your attempt at revenge for all the shit I’ve talked about you over the past four years? God, grow a spine and get over it.

*pause* Wait, what? You really just want me to help on the project and that’s it? Just… alleviate the workload? That’s all? You’re not going to blackmail me or force me to become your academic slave? *disbelief* I feel like you’re lying to me. If I were in your shoes, I would hold this over your head and make you do whatever I wanted for my own personal enjoyment. *grudgingly concedes* …hmph. I guess you’re right. You’re not me.

*sighs, leaning back against her chair* You are… way too nice for your own good, you know. Definitely too nice for this profession. The world of theatre is cutthroat, and you… are decidedly not.

*scoffs* I’m just saying. Honestly, it pisses me off more than anything. I have worked hard on my craft since I was a kid, you know? Begged my parents to put me in all the classes that would make me a triple threat, because I knew even then that the stage was my life, and I wanted to excel. I have put blood, sweat, and tears into this.

And you… here you are, excelling without even trying. So smart and pretty and effortlessly talented when you take command of the stage. Of course I wanted to knock you down a peg. No, let me say this. You stole the lead role from me in our freshman year, do you remember that? God, I wanted to throttle you with my bare hands. That was my dream role. And your audition blew mine out of the water. You were so damn nice about it too, all sweet and genuine when you told me that I had done really well. I hated you so much for it. It’s petty, I admit, but it’s what made me decide to make things harder for you socially.

So yes. I see you as my rival. You not taking advantage of the precarious position I’m in… does not make you any less so. Take that how you will.

…I’m sorry. Is that seriously all you got out of that? That I think you’re pretty? *scoffs, blustering a little in embarrassment* Well. Yes. Objectively. Don’t make it a thing when it isn’t.

…ugh, fine. Scoot over. You’re taking up the whole couch. I’ll… help, if that’s really all that will get you off my back. *she sits next to the listener* So. *clears throat, a little awkward while trying not to be* What do you want me to do?