Karlach Script Preview (Patreon)

Hello, my darlings!! Who here likes Baldur’s Gate 3? 👀 Here’s the script preview for the upcoming Patreon-exclusive audio, commissioned by my lovely patron, Elky!

I haven’t written anything fanfiction-y in a long time haha, not since my days of extensively writing Sonny with a Chance fanfiction (💀💀) It was a bit daunting with a character so beloved, but I did my best!

I will admit, I have not finished this game yet 🤕 So I did a bit of research to make sure this script flowed as accurately as I could! One day I will return to you, BG3… wait for me, Lae’zel 🫡

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Well, hello there, you! Long day, huh? Come take a sit with me by the fire. Oh, come on, it won’t kill you to take a break now and then. You’re always so busy running around helping people - don’t get me wrong, I love that about you, but take care of yourself now and then, yeah? Besides, it’s been a moment since we’ve gotten to be alone like this, just me and you! Lae’zel and Shadowheart argue so much when we’re all out and about, when we get back to camp I swear I can still hear them bickering in my sleep. *laughs* It’s like, get a room already!

*clears throat* You know, speaking of getting a room… there hasn’t been time to talk about it, but now that my infernal engine is stable, thanks to Dammon, I’ve been thinking a lot about taking things further with you. Don’t get me wrong, kissing you is great - it’s amazing! Gods, I love kissing, especially now I don’t have to worry you’ll get hurt from it. But I also really want to just pin you down and make you mine now, you know? I’ve imagined so many scenarios in my head of us naked and passionately tangled up together - they’re all hot of course but some of them are REALLY funny actually, there’s one scenario I thought up where Astarion walks in on us and-

…Oh, well yeah, I mean. I definitely would rather live it than just talk about it. If you want to, of course! I’m raring to go if you’re up for it. It would be our first time together, so don’t feel pressured or anything just because I’m yammering on about it. I might completely crave you every time I look at you, but I’m not a complete horndog, I promise. I only want to be with you when you’re ready too.

*laughs* Making you swoon? Maybe that was my dastardly plan all along! *pause* Tonight? You’re sure about this? You really want to go all the way? *smiles* All right, then. Let’s move this on over to your bed, hm? I’m going to take you good and proper tonight, my love.

…here we are, in your little corner of camp… where no one can hear us… hopefully. If they can, well, that’s their problem now! *laughs before sobers* Look, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been looking forward to this, like… REALLY looking forward to this, if you couldn’t tell. But we still don’t know how completely stable this infernal device will remain during an encounter that’s a little more involved than just kissing. So if at any point I hurt you, promise me you’ll tell me. I know you say you’re a soldier and you can take it, if it comes to that, but I’m not risking your safety.