A somewhat surreal State of the Gay (Patreon)

So I hit 150 patrons recently and was like 'hey we should have a patrons only livestream to celebrate' and then the public livestream about starting Word of Honor happened and now it looks like I'll have 200 patrons before we celebrate 150.

Do you know what to say to that? Because I dunno what to say to that.

On a related note: Hi. I'm Brittany. Like 40 of you are new here for the Word of Honor madness. Welcome! 

Remember to check your Tier's perks to make sure you're getting all the extra special stuff in addition to early and uncut access. <3

Feel free to comment, lurk, or be somewhere in between. No pressure. My inbox is always open for private messages--if you have a question or something to say that you would prefer not be public, that's the place to do it. 

And because a bunch of you are new, a brief recap of my situation: I have a history of anxiety and depression, plus an extremely likely case of ADD, and I inherited Sleep Phase Disorder from my grandmother. I've also done a lot of healing from the boatload of trauma that comes with growing up with an alcoholic parent. It was only until late 2019, when I was 31 years old, that I had finally healed to the point where I could start Doing Things and keep Doing Things. But in order to Do Things, I have to do them differently from most people--like being both entirely up front about my mental health and firmly protective of the energy/capacity I do and don't have. Fortunately, letting people know that sometimes I need extra space, patience, and/or understanding, reduces my anxiety about "burning out" and "failing." (Of course, it was that exact 'what if I collapse like last time' anxiety that would...make me collapse like the last time. Humans are weird.) 

It's because I know you guys will understand that I can breathe easier if I ever need to take a sudden break for a week or reduce my video output for a while. We're all excited to see Gaywatch grow and find new queer things to gush over, but around here we choose the tortoise over the hare--and we're all okay with that. 

These days I'm operating at good max capacity, a healthy 'I can manage this but not much more, so I won't' kinda vibe. After The Untamed BTS videos finish and the schedule is five videos a week, two with minimal editing, I think I'll be at the sweet spot. (And eventually those five Gaywatch videos will become three Gaywatch videos + two Twitch streams, but we'll cross that queer bridge when we get to it.) Maybe if my dreams come true and one day I can afford to hire an editor, my output can increase. But until then I'm happy to have found my limit...and that the limit isn't literally on the floor like it was all through my teens and twenties.

Keep an eye out for an imminent poll about what exactly you would like the 150 (200?) patron celebratory livestream to entail.

Welcome to the party. I'm so happy you're here. <3 

-Brittany

P.S. - Also I make sure every single comment I see gets a heart but Patreon doesn't tell you it's from the creator like Youtube does but I promise it is okay love you bye