Seikyuu's Yoga Time! (Patreon)

YOGA TIME!! 

Script by Qisma!

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[The listener is heading upstairs, hearing the sound of Seikyuu in great discomfort.

Opens the door, finding him on the ground]

Ah, Master, h-hello! It's so good to see you nice and refreshed, and ready for your day-ow!

Why am I sprawled out on the floor stretching like a cat? Well, I know we've known each other for a while, so I'm pretty sure you know that I'm--

That's not what you meant. Right.

Well, it's nothing really. I'm just a little stiff this morning. I think I may have slept wrong last night.

In fact, I may have been sleeping wrong for a couple of nights now; I can't get this kink out of my back and shoulders.

It's nothing to worry about though! I'm just fi- *GAH!*

...

[Pouting] Okay, so it's not fine. It's miserable! I feel like an old, stiff rubber band! If I turn my body the wrong way even the slightest bit, it hurts!

There's no way I can perform my daily butler duties with a bum back! But this stretch isn't helping me.. In pretty sure it made it even worse!

I should try practicing Yoga? Isn't that where those people twist and bend their bodies into crazy shapes? Like contortionists! I saw this one girl in a video that was so flexible she twisted herself into a big pretzel! I mean, I'm pretty flexible, but I don't think I could become a Seikyuu pretzel, or anything like that. And feeling like a stiff rubber band wouldn't help..

But I trust your word, so I'll give it a try! Anything to get rid of this stupid--*Ack!*

[Time skip. Listener and Seikyuu are sitting on the back patio, relaxing music playing in the background.]

I'm ready to do some Yoga!

So, first, we just sit up straight, and take 3 deep breaths, right? No sweat.

[Seikyuu takes long, deep, steady breaths in, and out.]

Oh, this already feels great.

We start with... Cat cow?

I just get up on my hands and knees, like this, then arch and **deep inhale** then bow my back, and **exhale**

[Seikyuu inhales, then exhales 3 times] I can feel it all the way down my back, right in the sore spots too.

Vinyasa? Master, I don't think now is the time for tiny sausages.

Although afterwards I could make us some brunch or--...

Right, not Vienna, Vinyasa, got it. And this is a series of flowing movements? I’ll try my best..

Standing tall now, **inhaling** I bring up my arms, then **exhaling** bend forward to touch my toes.

Walk my hands forward, and then hold pushup position... [Straining] hold.. HOLD.. HOLD--

And **flop** down to the ground, and up into cobra pose..

Downward dog? But I’m a cat! This position was made for felines anyway!

After that, I jump my feet to my hands—**hup!**

Then chair pose!

Lower? Ok… *nyaaah*… *GAAAH* it burns!!

Yes I’m breathing!

Ok! Bring my hands down, jump the feet back-- **hup!!** And hold, hoold, hooooold..!

**Flop!** Down to the ground, cobra pose, then downward dog.

What?? I have to lower myself down slower for cobra pose? But that was so hard to do!

And you know what, I'm giving some of these positions their own special Seikyuu assigned names.

The Accordion for cat cow. Swimming Class for vinyasa.. Cobra is cool, so I'll keep that. Chair pose is self explanatory.. And Cat Stretch for downward dog!

[Seikyuu stands up, turns off music]

But, y'know what?? The stiffness in my back and shoulders are gone, and it doesn't hurt to twist!

Thank you so much, Master, that was just what I needed. I'm so grateful. ❤ I’d love to learn some more Yoga poses soon, but for now, I’m starving! Let's go inside and I’ll make us some brunch.

Oh, and I can tell you about the modifications I made to my Mega Mini Super Duper Ultra Powered Jet Fueled, Mana Infused, Banana Scented, Dragon Blessed, Swish Bros, Golden Crested, Neo Armstrong, Hydro Hydro Hydro Mark 3 Hydro Hydro Hydro Aquatic Blaster Destroyer!

[They open the door and head inside]

I ran out of scented bathing grenades though--

Of course I still have the gun!

Nooo, that's NOT why the neighbor's yard was flooded last week!