Sick complainy post (Patreon)

Hi guys, was at the docs earlier today thinking i had an ear infection but turns out it's a sinus infection.
Honestly i had it for the last few days but had to wait for an app.
Im all gross, dizzy and feverish but i was given antibiotics and a steroid spray so i should be back to 60% soon

(Heavy talk ahead, mental health, don't read if that is harmful for you)

I've been struggling a bit lately. Moods kind of terrible and low. My meds ran out and i couldn't afford to do anything about it at the time. But i also got that renewed today so hopefully im back to normal soon.

Honestly i dislike this time of year because everyone is so germy and i have a compromised immune system so someone only needs to look at me and i catch it. Even on my vacay i was sick for most of it. (This time last year i was sick for almost 2 months straight because i help a friend by minding her kid and they're just so germy)

I hate complaining. I usually withdraw until it passes and then im like 'so this was happening but i think im over it now - so no need to worry'

Im just really sorry for not being around a lot. I miss you guys. Also I've totally neglected my messages which i will get to asap. Yay anxiety. I really dislike the person i become when I'm not right.

It's a dumb thing to say but i miss the person i know i can be. Ahh sorry Haha. There was a conversation today about depression/suicide that really bugged me and it's been playing on my mind.
Someone who thinks it's a choice (Read: ignorant)

What i wouldn't give for there to be a switch.

But there isn't so we cope as best we can. It's not always healthy but sometimes it's all a person can do.

Honestly today i want to eat my feelings. Which is a terrible idea.

TLDR: I'm sick, i suck, I'm trying to fix it. I want chocolate but i shouldn't.
I love you guys.