Kind of a Bummer (Important Note About Perks) (Patreon)

In my ongoing struggle with finding a balance between not wanting to stress you all out and wanting to be transparent so you'll understand why I'm struggling (and not think that I just don't care) I'm going to give a quick summary. It might sound kind of grim and self-pitying, so I do apologize for that.

Overall I am making progress. I'm having lots of good moments, and overall I'm able to do more than I was a few months ago. However, I still don't have a diagnosis. I've lost count of the number of doctors I've been to. The one doctor I've been MAYBE making some progress with is very overbooked and I often have to wait a month or longer between visits, so that's moving very slowly and it's frustrating. During my bad moments, I'm so sick that I literally can't function. My husband has had to miss work or leave early countless times because I've been too sick to care for our kids and I worry for his job (we can't have FMLA protection without a diagnosis). I've lost thousands of dollars (at least) over just the past few months in medical fees and missed work. I've honestly started to get pretty depressed about it.

I'm going to be removing the postcard, video greeting, and trigger video perks. While you're all still more than welcome to pledge at any level, I need to be honest with myself about what I can handle. I have gotten so much joy out of sending postcards and video greetings to people, but I've decided that I need to focus on making content right now.

I hope you can all understand my need to simplify my life right now.

Again, I hate the idea of stressing anyone out or making anyone feel sorry for me. Letting all my problems hang out like this makes me feel very vulnerable but, ultimately, trying to downplay or even hide them causes me more stress.

So that's where I am.

I hope this wasn't too cringe-y. I hope I was able to make you feel informed without feeling worried. I hope, at the very least, this might be a cue for some of you to simplify your own lives if that's what you need right now.

GOOD NEWS: I'm off to get some rest and then edit the new medical RP I filmed the other night. <3

Love,

JB