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Opinions (Patreon)

Published:
2024-05-10 03:00:17
Imported:

Content

Can I get some feedback from the Patrons on some things?

First, what are your actual opinions on Riley dying in a story? I understand that some don't like it, but I feel if he never dies that is too much, ahem, Plot Armor. Do the tools he has to mitigate his loss of agency work well enough for you? (Deathwatch and Off-Screen Death)

Second, what are your opinions on the chapters that Riley does not narrate?

PS. The next two chapters will come out tomorrow and Saturday. I meant for one to come out today, but I am reworking some things.

Comments

Ragnaroc_1999

I like the heroic Riley deaths where he is able to massively contribute through risky almost certain death. The death itself is fine now with the Deathwatch and allows you to add brief alternative POV's in certain moment for more spice. My personal opinion on alternative POV's are; As long as alternatives don't drag its fine, personally i think the Ramona chapters were pushing it but was nice backstory filler, although i disliked the cops POV felt like needless drag to me.

BoxQueen

Considering the flow of the story, I don't mind him dying, just, if he suffers from meaningless deaths, I would like some indications on why he died so quickly. I know I would be very frustrated if such a thing happened to a character. For this story, they come back to life after completing a storyline, but it would be a disappointing experience if nothing happened after such a result. I like the writing on the other character's perspectives. I will admit Ramona's narrative was a bit weak in my opinion. I like the play of ambiguity and swap to third person, but it kind made the narrative weaker. Example: whenever the script was mentioned, it becomes vague whose perspective it was. I haven't read some things for a month so I might be remembering it wrong, but my impressions were mostly confusion and intrigue. I wasn't sure if I was reading things right and even if I was, I had a different idea what was behind the whole thing. I don't mind a bit of confusion when it comes to reading, especially with an unreliable narrator, but Ramona's interesting one, that's for sure. I really like that one side story where we were following a Wallflower who took on a role of a 'main character'. Before coming on Patron, I remember how confused the comments were on that one. For me, it was a clear representation of a strange scenario where the NPC the Wallflower took, was actually not the main character and he almost got Axed for it. Personally, I feel you are already doing a good job with your writing and I look forward what else you are going to write next. Don't think too hard on other's opinions and do what feels right for you. If there is a bit of confusion and it is unwanted, then address it, but if you don't mind it, then leave it. I make comments because I know people wants feedback on their work, however, my words are just opinions of the current state of things when I come across it. No deep thoughts other than impressions I get from what I know. (Which isn't a lot) Look forward to reading!