What if the Schmoedown was a comic book movie? (Patreon)

Comic Book Movies. Love them or loathe them, it would be remiss not to admit that they have played a major role in many a Schmoedown match. Titles have been won and lost on countless comic book movie questions, with the current crop of competitors well aware that they at least need to have a basic understanding of what has become the most popular genre of film since the turn of century. 

But what if the Movie Trivia Schmoedown was, in fact, a series of comic book movies? A somewhat baffling consideration, granted, but stop for a second and imagine where each competitor would sit were they to be thrown into the ever-growing landscape of comic-based properties. 

This writer did stop for that second – plus, admittedly, a fair few more – to put together this selection of comic book movie characters, and their Schmoedown alter egos... 

(Before we go any further, these comparisons are solely based on the characters within comic book MOVIES. Also, there might be some opinions in here that – shock horror! - others may not necessarily share. Just don’t @ me.) 

JOHN ROCHA as BATMAN 

Few comic book movie characters, nay movie characters full stop, have had such up and down careers as Batman. Gotham’s caped crusader is always a draw at the box office with vast amounts of adoring fans, even if the final product on screen does not always reach the level that those watching either hoped or expected. 

Sound familiar? John Rocha’s Schmoedown career is perhaps the most storied of any competitor in the history of the game, taking in amazing highs such as his two title wins, as well as some almighty lows – just don’t mention Jane Fonda! 

Nevertheless, the support of the Outlaw Nation rarely wavers, with his fans ever hopeful that there is potentially a performance right around the corner that will remind them just why they fell in love with him in the first place. 

Ably assisted by his trusted sidekick, Matt ‘Robin’ Knost, the pair have sometimes crossed the line between hero and anti-hero status, though they have always been able to retain the support of their acolytes., 

Though it as yet unconfirmed whether Rocha in fact lives in a large mansion overlooking Los Angeles, one thing is for certain: he remains blockbuster even when the chips are down. 

RACHEL CUSHING as THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 

When it was first announced that Rachel Cushing would be appearing within the Movie Trivia Schmoedown, the resounding reaction was an almost universal shrug of the shoulders and an inquisitive “Who?!”. 

Only the true SchmoesKnow fans knew of “The Crusher’s” movie knowledge and the potential she had of becoming a force within the league, though it would be not be long until those less-educated souls would soon be won over. 

Having climbed to the top of the rankings in no less than three of the four divisions within the MTS, Cushing is a true all-rounder, able to adapt to almost any situation. From an unknown to one of the show’s leading lights, it is hard to imagine a major production at Schmoedown Towers not involving her somewhere along the way. 

Whether she can hold her own in a dance-off has not yet been uncovered, but you can bet that she will shine when called upon to perform within the movie trivia universe.

UMBERTO GONZALEZ as THE GREEN LANTERN 

A heavyweight within the industry, when it was announced that Umberto Gonzalez would be entering the Schmoedown arena, the hope was that a superstar was about to set off on their path to becoming a legend. 

How wrong we were! 

A misstep at almost every juncture during his debut bout saw him stumble through one of the most underwhelming performances the movie trivia world has ever seen, and it is no shock that despite his popularity outside of the Schmoedown, “El Mayimbe” has not been seen in action since. Whether he will ever be seen again remains a mystery... 

WILLIAM BIBBIANI as THOR 

Despite his sunny disposition outside of the ring, there was always a feeling that whenever William Bibbiani competed within the Schmoedown there was a seriousness and will to win that only a few other competitors could match. 

Whether it was “The Beast” persona or not, the words ‘untapped potential’ always seemed to follow Bibbiani around as he loped between encouraging performances to downright duds. 

That was until he stopped caring and decided to adopt a more relaxed persona. With results apparently no longer mattering as much, Bibbiani instead looked to enjoy himself far more, increasing the amount of humour he injected into his performances along the way. 

And while he is yet to lose an eye or – as far as this writer knows – any other body part during his current run, it certainly seems to be working. The current singles champion, it is hard to argue that there is not a more engaging nor high-performing competitor within the league right now. 

No more is he the Schmoedown’s God of Blunders – it took some time but Bibbiani is now the real deal. 

CLARKE WOLFE as WONDER WOMAN 

The first female competitor to go it alone and make an impact on a male-dominated league, Clarke Wolfe has led by example and helped pave the way for a whole host of women to make an impact on the Schmoedown. 

Despite her results, there were some doubters, but her performances have gone to another level since fellow female, Emma Fyffe, took her under her wing and began to act as the director of her most important decisions. 

A team champion after over two years of trying to get hold of a belt, other more established competitors of both genders look on in envy as she looks set to go from strength to strength and finally turn those haters into fully-fledged Fyffe Club fanatics. 

TOM DAGNINO as LOKI 

The Schmoedown’s very own God of Mischief, there is no doubting that as hard as others try, they will have to go to some lengths to compete with both the impact and longevity of Tom Dagnino’s reign as the main villain of the movie trivia landscape. 

Seemingly always one step ahead of those who try to tie him down, his unrelenting pursuit of the Commissioner’s Throne has to be admired, particularly when those around him do all they can to force him back time and time again. 

The artist formerly known as Finstock has, of late, seen his powers dwindle somewhat while at times there have been suggestions that he might have it within him to be the kind of anti-hero the Schmoedown has been missing. 

Overall, though, there is no question that as the Schmoedown moves onto a new chapter, there is unlikely to ever be a bad guy quite like “Tricky Tom”. 

WITNEY SEIBOLD as BLACK WIDOW 

The definition of a team player when it comes to the Schmoedown, Witney Seibold can always be relied upon to hold up his end of the bargain when there are others at the table relying on him to perform. 

The question that always follows one of his appearances, however, is this one: “When is Witney going to make his singles debut?”. 

Though suggestions of that very thing coming to fruition continue to be hinted at by the powers that be, fans are still waiting to see the less heralded half of Critically Acclaimed make his first steps into solo play, meaning he is seen on screen far less than many would have hoped following his promising early showings. 

Hopefully at some point during the last three paragraphs you too have imagined Witney Seibold in some kind of skin-tight leather get-up. And don’t pretend like you didn’t enjoy it! 

SAMM LEVINE as CAPTAIN AMERICA 

Despite all the fanfare that accompanied Samm Levine’s arrival as a Schmoedown competitor, the man himself has even since admitted that his performances were not always as up to scracth as they could have been. 

Showing a lack of knowledge for modern day animated movies that a super soldier who had been frozen for the best part of 70 years would have been ashamed of, while there was always plenty to like about “The Inglourious One’s” displays within the Schmoedown ring, the early signs were that he was set to be nothing more than a bit-part player within the wider world of movie trivia. 

Then, seemingly from nowhere, things turned. It was hard to imagine switching on a Schmoedown and Levine not being there putting in the type of showing that would be talked about for years to come. He became the star attraction, and it was no surprise that belts soon followed. 

Where he currently differs from his comic book movie counterpart is that he went out on top, leaving fans begging for more. Give it six months or so, though, and in all likelihood, Steve Rogers may well emulate his Schmoedown alter ego in doing exactly that.