HC: Handyman | Ch. 59 - Don't Sir Me (Patreon)

“Any doubts about your contract?”

“I couldn't help but notice that IronIre has a slightly different way of handling internal disputes.” Kevin looked at his notes, reminding himself of the exact wording, “Here. What does it mean to handle disputes courteously?”

Wilson from IronIre nodded his head knowingly. It looked like Kevin wasn’t the first to ask this question. “Like every other guild, sometimes there are divergences between guild members. IronIre takes no responsibility for internal disputes. If you have any squabble with a fellow merc, you are expected to handle it between yourselves.”

“So that means no fines? No penalties for, say, fighting a fellow guildsman?”

Wilson confirmed it with a nod.

“I see. Thank you for explaining that, sir.” Even though Wilson was a high school student, Kevin adhered to online etiquette and showed him the proper respect. Numbers such as the balance in the bank account or age didn't matter in this world. The only figures that mattered were levels and attributes.

College was expensive, and his parents already worked two jobs each to get him through it. He wasn’t the best gamer in the world, but he wasn’t the worst. He had managed to bring his pheromoner to level 56. Once he heard that IronIre was hiring and that they paid generously in in-real-life currency, he applied immediately. The salary was very generous, and there seemed to be room for progress. IronIre was one of the most known merc guilds out there. Even the Krakens were known to hire their services occasionally.

The only thing that left Kevin on the fence was this funky clause. Guilds usually devoted a large section of their statutes to promoting peace between guild members. There were heavy fines if a player killed someone from the same guild; in some cases, even expulsion. Why did IronIre clearly state they didn’t get involved in internal disputes?

On the other hand, IronIre had a never-ending list of clauses that listed punishment for attacking customers or other guilds that hired them for the duration of their contract. It was almost as if they didn’t care about their own, only about whoever was paying.

Wilson kept walking through the base of operations of IronIre and explaining how the guild worked. “Raids are Wednesdays and Saturdays. You can access that board for ongoing hunts and quests. You’re a pheromoner, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You should have no trouble finding people to hunt with. Pheromoners are highly sought after in IronIre.” Wilson looked left and right, and finding nothing left to say, he turned toward Kevin. “That brings us to the end of our tour. What did you think? Cool, uh?”

“IronIre is impressive,” Kevin said.

“Ready to sign?”

Kevin scratched his head and considered everything that he’d seen. The way they took no responsibility for internal disputes bugged him a little, but the pay was good, and IronIre was a rising star. This was the best time to join. Even if there were jerks in the guild, as a grenadier specialized in buffing others, he was never short of friends or people trying to curry favor with him. He would likely be able to form his group of friends within the guild soon. That should be protection enough. “I’m in!”

“That’s fantastic. Please sign here.”

Are you sure you want to become a [Staff Member] of IronIre?

Please be advised:

The contract is partly enforced by the system. Failure to respect the contract can result in severe penalties.

Kevin dismissed the standard message with every contract that paid money in the real world and signed.

“Well done! Welcome to IronIre!” Wilson shook Kevin’s hand heartily.

“Thank you for showing me the ropes, sir.”

“No problem, no problem.”

Kevin was ready to go to the board and look for quests but froze, raising an eyebrow. He had assumed the tour was over, but Wilson held his ground as if he had something to say. “By the way, about our guild leader. He’s a real character. We go to school together. He’s pure talent. He can wreak chaos on the battlefield and just won’t die.”

“I’ve heard of him,” Kevin said. “I admire the Slayer. Forming his merc guild instead of joining a top guild shows real guts!” Kevin spouted a little of the praise he’d prepared for this job interview.

“Good. Good. Here’s the thing. He can be a bit sensitive sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… he’s a cool guy, most of the time. But if you say the wrong thing next to him, he flips and enters berserker mode. Hahaha.”

Kevin forced a laughter, although it didn’t sound all that funny.

“If you ever bump into him, here are a few things you should remember. Always address him as Slayer. Nothing else. Slayer. Only. Got that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“While hunting with him, don’t tell him what to do. Don’t scold him. Don’t complain. Just let him do his own thing. It always works out. Got it?”

“O-OK.”

“Also, don’t goof around. He doesn’t have a sense of humor. He takes himself way too seriously. Just don’t joke when you’re around him. Keep it strictly professional.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Kevin agreed.

“Good. You’re all set, then. Go check the board if you want to choose your first quest.”

Kevin nodded and walked away from Wilson. What was up with all these recommendations? Successful guild leaders weren’t usually ordinary people and were known to have quirks. This one, in particular, just sounded a little serious. Maybe it was a good thing and why the famed Slayer was so successful.

Approaching the board, Kevin started looking over the guild’s activities. There were several requests from other guilds. Some he knew, some he didn’t. He noticed that the Krakens had placed several orders for rare materials. He checked one at random.

Order: Shadow T-Rex’s Jawbone

Customer: Krakens

Description: One in every ten shadow t-rexes drops the [Shadow Jawbone], an important crafting material. We’re willing to pay 5,000 gold for the item or 20,000 credits.

Suggested party size: 10

Suggested party level: 65

Comission: 50%, i.e., 10,000 credits or 2,500 gold.

“Woah! 10,000 credits split by ten players. That would be 1000 credits?” If he could get that kind of money, his parents could live carefree lives and drop their second jobs. However, T-Rexes were among the hardest dinosaurs to hunt in the game. There was no way he could join this kind of quest. 

Even so, seeing the Krakens come to IronIre for this request spoke well for the guild. After perusing several other quests and checking what other guilds hired IronIre’s services, Kevin studied the raid schedule and other guild events. 

As he went through the board, he stumbled upon another section of the board. 

Hit List

This is a list of people who have wronged IronIre. Copy the list into the autoID function of the game and let management know immediately if you spot any of them. Only management can add names to this list.

AmariRanger

ArthoriusKnight

AzirianSky

AvianRider

…

”Oh, my goodness. Just how many players have they blacklisted?” he gasped. Sometimes, guilds kept a list of high-priority targets. But he’d never heard of one this long before.

He ignored it. He’d leave this kind of work to rogues. His class was tailored to group hunts, and he didn’t care for PVPing. He looked for parties specifically requesting a pheromoner. There were several, meaning he wouldn’t be short of things to do. So far, joining IronIre seemed like the right decision.

“Move.”

The voice was deep and rumbling, like thunder. Kevin turned to find a bare-chested giant with a wolf pelt covering his shoulders. He was one of the tallest people Kevin had ever met. Even though he looked younger than him, Kevin’s head only reached his chest. Had this giant been a little taller, he would have had to hunch to walk around the room. He certainly had to lower his head to go through doors as he was.

Unlike other tall people he knew, this wasn’t a bony, thin, tall man. No. He was muscled and had broad shoulders. He had never met him in person, but once he landed his eyes on him, Kevin somehow knew he was standing before his guild leader. No wonder that he could steamroll through battlefields. This man was a beast.

The giant grunted, signaling his annoyance, and focused his primal gaze on Kevin until he finally stepped aside. Usually, he would have complained that multiple people could access the board simultaneously and that he didn’t have to move. But given the man’s size, he obeyed promptly.

“Trash. Trash. Trash. Good. This one.”

He looked over at Kevin and studied him from head to toe. “You’re the new pheromoner, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

The man raised his hand and brought it up to Kevin’s face. It was the largest hand he’d ever seen, one as large as a frying pan. He slapped him gently three times on his cheek. It was a threatening gesture but not meant to cause harm. Even so, the Slayer’s hand was so heavy and callused that he felt like his head was banging against a wall. “Don’t. sir. me. Slayer. Just Slayer. Got it?”

“Yes, s… Slayer.”

IronIreSlayer is inviting you to join a party. Do you wish to accept? [Y/N].

Kevin didn’t dare to decline the invitation.

IronIreSlayer has taken on the quest [Shadow T-Rex’s Jawbone].

“Come with me. We’re going to hunt a few rexies together. You’ll show me what kind of stuff you’re made of.”

“T-Rexes? Aren’t they level 70?”

“So? Any problem with that, greenie?!” the Slayer asked, annoyed.

Kevin gulped. He was terrified of this man. He looked like a pressure cooker, ready to explode. All those giant hands needed to crush his skull was an excuse. “Not at all, Slayer. Let’s do it.”

“Good. You aren’t a coward.”

Kevin followed after the giant. He thought only the Krakens could hunt T-Rexes. Was this all bravado? Was he going to put together such a large guild operation on a whim? The Slayer kept walking. Kevin had to take two steps for every step the Slayer took, which meant he was running after him. 

“Wilson!” the Slayer roared as he caught sight of Kevin’s mentor.

“What’s up, Slayer? Oh! I see you’re hazing the new guy. Wonderful.”

“Yeah. Need to know if he’s reliable,” the Slayer said as if Kevin wasn’t there. “Have the Gorgons paid us for the raid yet?”

“Not yet, Slayer. It hasn’t been one hour, though.”

“Send them a message. We really should start collecting upfront, Wilson.”

Upfront? For raids? How can someone get paid upfront without first knowing the results of the raid? Kevin screamed in his mind.

Wilson shrugged. “It’s something to think about.”

The Slayer grunted. “Any news on the whereabouts of Klaz?”

“Not yet.”

“Amari?”

“Not either, sir.”

The Slayer punched the wall, and the whole building seemed to shake, causing puffs of dust to rain from the wooden rafters. “That bozo dares make a spectacle on his little channel. I want to kill him a few more times. He’s bound to have started a new account. If he doesn’t show up within a week, hire Loki to track him down. He always finds them.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Slayer turned his back on Wilson and walked away. “Greenie. Follow.”

Before Kevin chased after the Slayer, he exchanged a look with Wilson. It was just a look, but it said plenty. Tried to warn you, pal, Wilson’s eyes seemed to say. Sighing, Kevin ran after his guild leader. Every time they crossed paths with other members of IronIre, Kevin expected the Slayer to stop and enlist more help for the hunt. However, he kept walking.

Kevin gulped once the Slayer left the building and headed toward the Pearl Gate. Does he want to hunt a T-Rex with just the two of us? Should I speak up? He thought of Wilson’s recommendations, remembered the Slayer’s giant hands, and decided to keep quiet. 

He was starting to connect the dots. The funky clauses. The reason why the Slayer had started his guild instead of joining an existing one and all of Wilson’s warnings. It was all because of this guy’s temper! No wonder that they didn’t take responsibility for internal disputes. This guild leader was probably involved in most of them! And what guild would want to hire this beast of a man? He could be very talented, but no one wished for someone this difficult running amok among their ranks.

As he saw the Slayer leave through the gate without even having a meal, Kevin considered whether joining this guild was the right decision. He thought back to the reward for this quest. 10,000 credits. If there were just two of them, he would get 5000 credits if they succeeded. He’d join him in this hunt and see how he did against a T-Rex. Maybe, just maybe, his talent was large enough to overshadow his temper.

Ch. 58 - Major Scale

INDEX

Ch. 60 - A Light at the End of the Tunnel