HC: Handyman | Ch. 23 - Flying Boot (Patreon)

“Why can’t my life be more like Lizzie’s? After inheriting her pops’ fortune, she stays at home all day eating chips and watching TV. But no… all my relatives had to be poor. Or maybe I should just invest in the stock market like Billy, sit back, and watch the cash roll in. Oh, wait. I have no money to invest. The lucky devils. Stupid Piri. Just because you’re ugly doesn't mean that you should make other people's lives miserable.” 

Jack’s nonstop complaining was the only sound in the maze. The more time he spent in the dungeon, the more annoyed he felt. Maybe it was because of how bright the pink was. It was starting to hurt his eyes. He felt inclined to put his torch away and use his hand to find his way through the maze and escape the stupid color. But if he did, he risked not seeing the next clue.

He finally reached another hieroglyph at another dead end of the maze. The same furry creature was portrayed riding a boat, but this time, it had its back toward him, and its disturbingly large eye was hidden. This should be the second of the three clues he needed. Jack photographed it and kept going, eventually finding himself at the first drawing again and then back to the chest. He was lost.

He started taking random turns, hoping to find the last clue. By now, he had finished going through the list of people he knew who were more fortunate than he was. It was a long one too, comprised of countless lucky old classmates, actors, singers, and tycoons. 

In torches, that was equivalent to saying he had gone through his sixth torch.  If he hadn’t saved some from earlier dungeon runs, he would be in the dark and would be forced to forfeit. Finally, Jack caught a lucky break and found the last hieroglyph.

Jack examined the third and final clue in the pink wall of a maze. The same yellow furry creature as before was holding a horseshoe. For the first time, Jack got an inkling of what one of the letters in the combinations was. The horseshoe was U-shaped, so U had to be one of the letters. Jack took a picture and ran back. 

By the time he reached the chest again, he’d burned through three more torches. Jack checked the pictures of the hieroglyphs one last time and then kneeled before the chest.

“U is one of the letters,” Jack said aloud, trying to organize his thoughts. The first picture has the furry creature with a large eye. Large eye. Letter I! Good. The second picture has the furry creature on a boat. I-B-U, B-U-I, B-I-U. No, that doesn't make sense. Sail. Ocean. Sea. Sea! Letter C! U-I-U, U-C-I…” Jack paused. “I-C-U. I see you.”

Was this a clever reference to how the pyramid tracked what dungeon runners did during a maze? He looked over his shoulder and felt goosebumps. This Piri was creepy! He hurriedly turned the dials with the letters. There was a click. Finally, the chest popped open.

Congratulations! You’ve completed Piri’s Cute Maze I!

+1000xp

Level up!

You’ve received 5x[Basic Torch]. 

You’ve received [Pinewood Buckler]. 

You've unlocked a new title: [Novice Explorer].

Novice Explorer (Common)

Description. You are no longer a stranger to the wonderful world within the mysterious artifacts that litter the landscape of New Earth. 

Title effect:

You've unlocked a new map feature. Your map now temporarily records the layout of a dungeon;

Torches burn for slightly longer. 

Conditions to unlock [Novice Explorer]:

Complete five dungeons. {complete}

It was Jack’s third title in the game. Having a map showing the dungeon's layout would go a long way, especially in dungeons like this one, where he had to find the chest plus the clues scattered around the maze. 

The small boost to torches’ durability was also welcome. He had gone through several of them in the previous dungeon. Since upcoming ones would be harder to tackle, the more light time he had, the better. 

Finally, he received a buckler. 

Pinewood Buckler (Common)

Description: A small shield made from pine. It will protect you from soft blows.

Durability: 16

Block: 6

Defense: 6

Restrictions: Lvl. 1. 

Many of the traps in the mazes involved darts and arrows. It felt good to have a shield behind which to hide. As he equipped it, he realized he’d seen the item before. It was similar to the one his fellow passenger on the wagon had worn. Jack wondered whether he had run the dungeon and been lucky enough to unlock such an item on his first run. Or perhaps, given how every market in the game was linked, he had just bought it off a local market.

The xp boost in this new series of dungeons was also generous to match the difficulty. He had leveled up again but was still trying to decide what to use the free stat points on. His cousin had advised him to hold on to attribute points until he decided which class to get.

Jack was beginning to look like a respectful adventurer. He felt ready to tackle whatever corny maze Piri had created for the next round. Rob had been right. Running dungeons was an excellent way of gaining levels. He didn't know if this would keep up in later levels, but he was having fun either way. 

This time, instead of going to the marketplace across the street, he looked for another one a little farther. He didn't need Piri to see what he was up to. He might be acting paranoid, but he wanted Piri to keep trying to kill him with expensive projectiles. She might hold out on him if she suspected he was making money off her assassination attempts. Since he wasn't crafting right now, this was his only way to make money. 

It was a little past midnight in the real world. He had been running dungeons for a few hours. Hopefully, by the time the sun rose, he would be level 5. Instead of selling every dart this time, he kept a stack. These had proven useful for all sorts of things, and it felt right to keep some. 

After listing all the items he had found, he circled back and headed for the pyramid. Instead of touching it with his hands this time, he experimented with kicking it. The menu still appeared. 

“Aha! From now on, this is how I'm going to open dungeons. You’re not even worth me using my hands. Do you hear me, Piri? Let's see what you cooked up, you devilish idiot.”

Jack selected ‘Piri’s Cute Maze II” and was again transported to a dark maze. He grabbed a torch and found everything around him was still pink. Jack clicked his tongue. Piri must have picked up how much he hated the color, so she insisted on painting the mazes pink as a petty payback. 

No matter. He would soldier on. Jack inspected the area around him for traps. There were no raised tiles or trip wires, so he took a confident step forward. 

Click! Swoosh! Bang!

-123,809!

Jack felt something hit him on the back of his head, and his vision went black.

You've been killed. When you die, you lose a level and drop one item. This is the first time you’ve died in New Earth, so all penalties are waived. 

You will now respawn. 

Jack awoke surrounded by tombstones and dirt. He found several other players like him, frowning, with an unhappy look on their faces. Jack blinked uncomprehendingly. What had just happened? He had died?! How? He hadn't seen anything coming. Just what had killed him?

He tried to replay in his mind the events that led to his first in-game death. He had taken his first step into the dungeon. There was the characteristic sound of a trap being activated, a swooshing sound from behind him, but before he could turn, there was this impossibly high damage number, and he was dead. 

Babu did warn him he should never let his guard down. He was in danger the moment he stepped into a maze. Feeling the back of his neck and remembering that's where he received the lethal hit, he marched over to the pyramid, frustrated over the whole thing. Sure, he hadn’t lost anything from his first death, but it sucked to lose such a valuable get-out-jail-free card in such an unfair situation.

Jack arrived at the pyramid, kicking it harder this time. The menu opened, and Jack stubbornly selected the same dungeon. Arriving at the dungeon, Jack grabbed a torch. Remembering where he’d been hit, he lay low on the ground and dragged himself across the floor. 

Click! Swoosh! 

Again, there was a click and a swoosh, and Jack could finally see what had killed him. Hanging from the ceiling was a mechanical boot with a knife on its tip. It had sprung from the ceiling, and had he been standing, it would have hit him in the head. That's what had killed him. 

He looked back and noticed that he had landed on a platform that was now slightly raised. “You tricky murderer,” he accused Piri. Now he understood what had happened. This trigger only activated once he left the platform. That's why when he stepped forward, he triggered the trap that had one shot him. 

Looking at the dangling boot, Jack remembered how he’d kicked the pyramid to open the menu. He also remembered the passive-aggressive chest combination, ‘I see you,’ and the message in the forums from a player saying how the pyramids had made his rageaholic buddy’s life miserable.

“Hi, Piri! Jack here. I want to apologize for kicking you twice. You’re not cute. You are… uh… fearsome. No. That’s not the word. Heroic! Yes! Legendary! That’s what you are. And incredibly good at your job, too. I hope we’re cool,” he said half-heartedly. Nothing happened. Yet. Taking a hefty sigh, Rob prepared to tackle the pink dungeon, hoping that Piri hadn’t made boots with knives a running theme all over it.

The kind of trap that Piri had selected here was a wake-up call. Dungeons were dangerous. Piri was dangerous. Perhaps, even though it was fun to talk smack about her, he shouldn’t antagonize it so much, or he’d risk dying more often. Another lesson he’d learned from this was always to check if he’d spawned directly over a trap.

Unlike the previous dungeon, Jack didn't spawn in a dead end but in the middle of a long corridor stretching in both directions. Before he chose a path, he opened the map, finding the new feature gifted to him by the [Novice Explorer] title.

In a hovering system window, he saw one small corridor surrounded by fog. He took a few careful steps, and some of the fog lifted as the map automatically completed itself. Sadly, the map didn't mark his current location. He would have to keep the map open and remember all the turns he made if he were to benefit from it.

Sighing, Jack took off. After he took a forth turn right, he heard the dreadful sound that signaled a trap had been activated.

Click!

Flashing thoughts ran through his mind in the split-second it took for him to react. Previously, whenever he heard this sound, he would have jumped forward to avoid darts or arrows, but after his previous experience with the boot at the entrance, he didn’t know anymore! Should he stay still and risk being shot by an arrow? Or should he run and risk being kicked by a flying boot?

Jack settled by squatting and raising the buckler over him. This way, he’d avoid a sucker boot and protect himself somewhat from a rain of darts. He closed his eyes, but nothing happened. He looked around uncertainly and found no projectiles or any danger. He found he was standing on a tile that had sunk as soon as he stepped on it.

Jack lay down on the floor and dragged himself away from the tile. The tile reset, there was a swoosh and Jack saw another boot dangling from the ceiling. This time it came from the front, and it didn’t have a knife. Jack gulped. It looked that, while Piri had accepted his apology, she hadn’t believed he really meant it. At least it didn’t have a knife on its tip anymore.

Ch. 22 - Pink Conspiracy

INDEX

Ch. 24 - Puzzles