A Job for This Useless Goddess - Part 12 (Patreon)

“Maybe we were a little too hard on her…” Darkness mused as she waddled her way through the crowded streets. “I mean, she is still our friend after all.”

“You…*munch*...just want…*munch*...her to give us…*munch*...free food,” said Megumin bluntly as she took a large bite out of a big bag of goddess cakes.

“Well...I mean it would be nice of her to give us some...We did work for free after all…”

“You mean, you guys freeloaded off the pantry which I had to restock single handedly,” Kazuma groaned as he dragged a cart full of food behind them. “Also, why the hell am I the only one pulling this! You two need to get your fat asses over here and help me!”

“Can’t, too busy eating,” the two girls replied curtly as they crammed more confectionaries past their plump, crumb dusted lips.

Though their journeys away from the store had taken them far and wide, news of how well Aqua’s business plan had exploded with popularity had quickly reached her companion’s ears.

Kazuma, ever worried about their finances, smelled money and a life of luxury on the horizon while Darkness and Megumin could only smell food. The staunch crusader had marvelled at the thought of the embarrassment and taunts she would garner from losing her once slender figure to even more fatness while Megumin became more and more convinced that her added mass might further augment her explosion prowess even more.

All had their own ulterior motives as they finally rounded the corner to the guild hall restaurant and braced for the inevitable onslaught of people they would have to fight to reach their tasty wares.

“What the hell is this?”

Much to their surprise, the streets were crowded in each and every direction with the exception of the restaurant itself. Row upon row of stalls with their own vendors selling perfect replicas or knock offs of aqua’s Goddess Cakes stretched as far as the eye could see. Money was exchanging hands as a large crowd of large people bustled about in a state of food fuelled commerce.

“This…*huff*...is....*huff*...my....*wheeze*...masterpiece!”

A looming shadow wheeled its way over the three companions, eclipsing both the doorway to the restaurant and the very sun itself.

Needless to say, Aqua had grown.

“Impressed?” Aqua gasped, cheerfully as she hefted her enormous bulk forward on a makeshift cart that had been built underneath her.

“W-what in the world?”

“No way…”

“God damn it, I knew it.”

The goddess beamed a smile the only way a girl her size knew how to; which had actually proven to be quite taxing upon her cheek muscles as they struggled to hold so much extra fat on and around her face. Double chins wobbled precariously as she pumped her flabby fist in triumph.

“They all…*huff*...work for me!” Aqua gasped as she finally caught her breath. This was the most exercise she had undertaken in days and it clearly showed. Her enormous belly shuddered with every spoken word. “I gave them the recipe and they now do the work for me!”

“Yeah, but do they give you any of the money?” Kazuma groaned as his thoughts wandered to how all of this could have possibly have gone wrong.

“All in due time,” Aqua beamed again, radiating pure, unadulterated confidence. “Some guys from the traders hall gave me formal documents to sign. It’s a fair exchange! Take a look for yourself.”

Aqua fished around in the cavernous depths of her cleavage and withdrew a rolled up scroll which she allowed to tumble down the gentle slope of her enormous gut. Megumin picked up the crumpled parchment which was coated in a thick aroma of butter frosting and gave it a quick scan.

“Did you actually read this thing before you signed it?”

Aqua smirked as she withdrew and bit into a snack cake which had previously been attached to the parchment and had come loose.

“Of course I did! I read it very carefully. It says I get to retain my name and branding in exchange for appropriate share of the total profits. I’m not stupid, you know.”

Kazuma groaned as he dropped the cart load of food he had been dragging and gazed upon the parchment over Megumin’s meaty shoulder.

“I, Arch Priestess Aqua, do so hereby allow...etc etc....entitled to a sum of the total profits...etc etc...in exchange for a portion of the profit...minus total licensing fees....franchise ownership expansion...etc etc…”

“See, it’s a totally fine plan! I’ve seen such places in Kazuma’s home before and I know how this stuff works!’

Kazuma’s eyes grew wider for a moment as thoughts of vast profitability swelled within his mind. He could pay off the debt that he owed, open up more shops in other cities and finally live that comfortable lifestyle he always dreamed of. The useless goddess he had dragged along with him to this horrifying world of hardship and terrible adventures would finally see some profitability. He could even rent her out as a bouncy castle or something to earn even more!

“Except for this part here,” Kazuma said flatly as he pointed at a cream smeared section of the paper. He could feel his inner voice kicking himself for ever allowing himself to get even slightly hopeful. “In the section which says ‘do not write in this space’ you drew a smiley face.”

Darkness leaned over Kazuma’s body, sandwiching him between her impressive bust and Megumin’s back fat as she too  looked over the form.

“Yeah, and there’s this big ‘null and void’ stamp on the bottom because of it.”

The shadows only grew deeper around the huddled adventurers as Aqua hefted her bulk over for her own closer inspection. Leaning down at her size was more like a redistribution of her fat as she rolled onto the surface of her immense belly, allowing her arms and legs to freely dangle against her absurdly generous paunch.

“So what do you guys think! Did I do good or what?!”

They hadn’t the heart to tell her. Looking at what she had done to herself; the sheer blob of a woman she had become chasing a dream the laziest way possible, had yielded the laziest results. Kazuma quickly weighed the possibilities of what might happen if he upset a woman large enough to crush him simply by rolling forward and thought better of it. They did not make a profit, but did not incur any more debt outside of the sheer bulk of his companions and in all honesty, things could have easily gone much worse.

He placed a hand on Aqua’s flabby shoulder and felt himself sink several inches into them alone as his mind swam with ways to focus on his living bouncy castle plan instead.

“That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”