Dealer’s Choice - Princess Connect WG (Patreon)

Art by TheBreadGuardian

“Heya! Thanks so much for showing interest in our guild! My name is....the stomach that’s always starving, Pecorine!~ It’s super crazy wild to meet you!”

You had heard the whispers and rumours around the city; of a hidden guild started up by one of the strongest women the land. Tales of her exploits were only ever rivaled by her immense appetite, leaving restaurants and storehouses empty in her wake. Your village was amongst the ravaged and yet everyone you had met seemed grateful to the gorging princess whose boundless love for food had allegedly saved as much as it had destroyed.

It was a cost that was far too much for a poor peasant family to bear as you watched your people pass through the cold, harsh winter fewer and fewer by the day. The cost of her services reaped 30% of what everyone claimed would have been a total wipe out had the dragon been allowed to have its way. As far as you were concerned, the true monster had still yet to be slain.

“Anyway! I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions! Like ‘how did this girl get so fat?’ I gotta say i’m pretty huge, aren’t it? When you get to my size, your world becomes really quite a small place. But it’s a very beautiful world, you know?”

She’s right in front of you. This massive girl dressed in armour and sporting a tiara surely couldn’t be that hard to slay if you really tried. Signs of breakfast still clung to her flabby cheeks as it would appear you had caught her unaware and in between meals. Now would be the perfect time to strike.

A quick slash to where the fat was thinnest...maybe around one of her chins? Hurry, while she’s prattling away. You can end the nightmare as you feel your fingers wrap around the hilt of the dagger hidden behind your cloak. 

“My days consist of eating and sleeping and trying out new recipes with all the food I’ve gathered in my travels! I gotta say, travelling was a lot easier a few hundred pounds ago, but to gorge on food all day and to realize that the worlds flavours are at your fingertips really settles me down.” 

Her hands moved with a speed which betrayed her size as she grasped your free hand still dangling by your side and intertwined her chubby fingers with your own. You balk and release your grip on the dagger you held at your side as she applied just the lightest amount of pressure in order to heave herself upright in a single, swift motion.

“Whew! Thanks for the help! It’s getting a bit tougher to lift all of me by the day! But enough about that, let me show you around! Just keep your eyes on me and you’ll never get lost! All these rolls and blubber are really good for being a landmark, huh?”

Her infectious enthusiasm momentarily made you question your killing intent. So many questions flood into your mind as she speedily waddled about the comparably small guild hall, navigating her bulk around narrow corridors and tight doorways with such precision and ease that she never allows her armour to make a single scratch against the walls.

“We’ll start with the bedroom first! This is where my day usually begins with a gentle nudge from Kokkoro-chan as she gets breakfast ready for all of us. She rigged up this lovely device from bamboo which lets the steamed rice and leftover meat just pour straight into my mouth so I don’t have to suffer hunger pangs while she cooks for us all. I taught her everything she knows!”

Pecorine’s eyes glaze over a little as she eyes the freshly reloaded tube. Of course, you were aware of her habits as no successful hunter should ever go after prey without studying it first. Over countless days, you’ve seen her lazily suckle from that tube while she admirered herself from a small hand mirror as she jiggled and played with her enormous body. You have assessed her numerous blind spots, hoping that the difficulty she has seeing much of her enormous form would be to your advantage. The small part of her bountiful chest and the flabby wings of blubber at her side made it seem like a sneak attack could easily be possible so long as she wasn’t propping her enormous body up against the side of her bed or a wall. 

You merely had to wait for the right opportunity...