A Job for this Useless Goddess - Part 02 (Patreon)

Consistency was never Aqua’s strong suit. Her boasting about providing exactly one meal’s worth of groceries quickly overstayed its welcome and was quickly becoming an annoyance to her other party members. While genuinely proud of her minimal effort, using it as an excuse not to do anything after she waddled her way back home was the more practical implication. She woke up early and went to bed early on most days but was now finding time to fit dinner into her schedule too. Her net positives were quickly turning into a break even scenario where the only one who benefited was her belly.

In the face of her new criticism, she decided that she would at least cook for everyone every once in a while. The staff at the restaurant were more than happy to provide her with a surplus of goods which she attempted to form into something palatable. This of course hinged entirely on the condition that she leave not a single crumb uneaten regardless of how they turned out. 

The results were more immediately apparent as her bravado was only matched by her carelessness which resulted in a variety of unsaleable goods. She knew that she was employed to literally eat the unsold profits, but the mountain of failures she seemed to be stacking up on a  daily basis was greatly expanding her total intake. 

Whenever she had to feast on something sweet, she craved something salty. Whenever she had something savory she wanted a bit of zest or tang. Aqua’s pallet expanded along with her waistline over the gradual weeks and the inevitable after effects began to manifest themselves.

Her followers, ever impressed by her sense of dedication yet completely oblivious to whom they were inadvertently fattening up, took to praising her as she lay in gluttonous agony.  While the average goddess did appreciate the presence of devoted followers, Aqua took it upon herself to absolutely revel in their adoration. The more she ate, the more they praised her and the more she wanted to impress.

Already stuffed to the gills with unsold meat buns, she felt a sudden and familiar craving surging from deep within. She heaved herself to her feet and chased down her gluten filled treats with even more carbohydrate loaded cupcakes, each coated in a thick blue frosting.

These were the only things she had managed to make so far which were at least mildly enjoyable  and served as the slight flicker of hope to imbue herself with the skills to create rather than simply devour.

“If those guys don’t appreciate me then maybe I”ll stay here and learn how to cook such an amazing feast they’ll just beg me to come home! Just you wait and see!”