Life (Patreon)

Update

Hi. I am sorry for not being active at all. I won’t lie, I’ve been extremely depressed. Also I’ve had a lot of personal things that have been affecting me and internal battles in my mind. I suffer from a lot of mental health issues. And I don’t really know how to talk about those things with you guys in a non personal way. But my mental health has a hold on me and I will be honest; I’m scared to ask for help. It’s hard to open up. My depression makes me lack motivation, makes me have not great thoughts about me or my mortality, bad eating habits, not showering or brushing my teeth, my hair is thinning, etc. There’s so much I wish I could open up about. I also am chronically ill. PCOS and right now I’m suspecting I have POTS (I feel really faint and lightheaded a lot and have heart palpitations). It’s just a lot. I want to be creative and do what I do best. But I genuinely haven’t had the courage to get up. I also had COVID and also went through with an important procedure. (I’m okay, it was just kind of traumatizing and I have been dissociating from it.) Sorry this is kind of long. I want to be back but I don’t know when this depressive episode will last. To be honest I’ve felt this way since September when I lost my cat. Ugh. Just a lot. Sorry for not replying to messages either. I have no motivation to even respond or engage. I hope you can understand. I’m a mess. I hope that’s acceptable. If not, that’s okay. My mental health is too much for me too. I’m alive. I’m trying. So there’s that. Maybe there’s some of you that can relate with me. If so, I’d love to talk about it.